Joke: 'Will you marry me?'

Two elderly people living in Ft. Myers, he a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?' He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'

He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'

Attorney: Man Dealing With Poison Ivy, Not Masturbating

A sex offender treatment supervisor for a Kentucky prison has been charged with indecent exposure.

Charles Lickteig II, 48, is now on administrative leave from the Luther Luckett Correctional Complex in LaGrange.

According to court records, Lickteig had stopped his vehicle at Lime Kiln Lane and U.S. 42 when a woman pulled up beside him. She claimed Lickteig's genitals were exposed and he was masturbating. She also said Lickteig looked at her and he knew she saw him.

Court records also said the woman later saw Lickteig at the same intersection and was able to get the license plate number to Lickteig's car and called police.

Licktieg was arrested on Oct. 14 and pleaded not guilty to second-degree indecent exposure.

Lickteig's attorney, Alex Dathorne, said Lickteig was also a police officer for eight years.

"So he's quite in tune with the seriousness of these allegations and also the embarrassment that goes with simply making the allegations," Dathorne said.

Dathorne said there may be a reasonable explanation for what is now a very serious charge.

"Sometimes, people who view things have a different perception as to perhaps what was actually occurring," said Dathorne.

Dathorne said his client was not sexually gratifying himself, but instead, Lickteig was trying to deal with a severe case of poison ivy.

"He's taking the charge, albeit a misdemeanor, extremely serious," Dathorne said.

JOKE: Never hire a man to do a woman's job

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.

After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own wife!" Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."

The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about five minutes, then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her. I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied. "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go the hell home."

Now they're down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to the same door and hand her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances. This is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him."

The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA heard the gun start firing, one shot after another, for 13 shots. Then they heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes, then all went quiet. The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman....... She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"

A British pensioner loses $120,000 life savings after leaving cash on roof of his car

A distraught pensioner lost his entire life savings of $120,000 - after he accidentally left the money on the roof of his car. The 68-year-old man, who wants to remain anonymous, said he didn't trust banks and so kept the money in his car because he thought it was safer than leaving it at home when he went out. But his retirement dreams were dashed when he accidentally set off for his part-time decorating job with the money, placed in a drawstring bag, still on his car roof.

The man from Southend, Essex, was in tears as he told how he'd saved $3,000 a year all his working life to ensure he could support himself in his retirement. For many years he stashed the money under his bed, but when his guard dog died, aged 12, he decided it would be safer to keep the money in his car. He had bundled $15,000 wads of notes into eight small plastic bags, placed inside another plastic bag and then a blue drawstring bag.

He said: 'My car is never more than 10ft away from me when I am work so I can keep an eye on it. That morning I went to work at about 6.20am and didn't realise I had lost it until noon. I went home and checked my bedroom in case I had left it there. Then I realised I must have put it on the roof of my car. If not, I may put it down as I got in the car, but either way it was gone.' I'm gutted. I have worked all my life and have never been on benefits or asked anyone else for a penny.

'I don't have a (company) pension so this was all I had. I don't know what I am going to do now. My grandson helped me look for the bag. We found some of the small bags empty in the street so it's pretty certain someone found it. I don't hold out much hope of getting it back but if I do I will give a reward to whoever brings it back.' The bag was lost in an area between Dulverton Avenue and Mendip Crescent. As no crime has been committed, police say they can only treat the incident as lost property.

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