I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
Saturday, July 31, 2010
LOL VIDEO:
Huntsville Alabama police are searching for a man who broke into a home and got into bed with a woman. Police say it happened about 3:10 on Wednesday morning on the 500 block of Webster Street. Kelly Dodson woke up to find a stranger in her bed. Her brother heard her scream.
Antoine Dodson rushed to help and struggled with the man who got away through a window. "Seeing my sister when I walked in, he had his hands around her neck. First thing I did was pull him off her," said Antoine.
I know this is a serious story, but the victim's brother is unintentionally amusing.
Kelly and Antoine said the suspect left behind his shirt and fingerprints. A crime scene investigator photographed and dusted for prints on the lid of the garbage can and the window pane and ledge.
Dodson says he's never seen the suspect before but sends this warning to whoever is responsible. "You don't have to confess you did it. We are looking for you. We gonna find you. I'm letting you know now so you can run and tell that homeboy," said Antoine. No one was injured in the incident.
Student handcuffed, photographed and fingerprinted for swiping cafeteria food
The Police Department has withdrawn a theft ticket issued to a Shorewood Wisconsin High School student who was handcuffed, photographed and fingerprinted after being accused of stealing a chicken nugget meal from the school cafeteria, Police Chief David Banaszynski said Monday.
Police and the school principal agreed the matter should be dropped, he said.
The ticket, given in March to Adam Hernandez, was to be the subject of a Municipal Court trial Tuesday.
"It shouldn't have gone this far. There are other means and methods to handle this kind of situation," Banaszynski said.
The arrest of the 15-year-old freshman was reported Sunday by Journal Sentinel columnist Eugene Kane.
Kane reported that Hernandez denied stealing the $2.60 meal, but rather received it from a friend who participated in a free lunch program at the school.
A rally in support of Hernandez had been planned at Village Hall just prior to Tuesday's scheduled trial.
Banaszynski confirmed that after Hernandez was arrested and handcuffed at the school he was taken to the police station to be photographed and fingerprinted before being released.
He said the same procedure would have been used had police been told, for example, that someone had eaten food from the deli of a grocery store without paying for it.
The fine and costs assessed for a municipal theft ticket total about $170, Banaszynski said.
Banaszynski noted that the police officer who works at the high school full time, as well as an assistant principal, were at the scene when officers arrived to make the arrest.
Asked if he thought a theft had occurred, Banaszynski said he didn't want to speculate.
"There's more than one side of the story," he said.
Hernandez's lawyer, James Hall, said he was pleased there would be no trial.
"To have handcuffed him and taken him to the police station in the first place, about a matter involving some chicken nuggets, was a bit over the top, in my view," he said.
"Hopefully, this can be a teaching opportunity in terms of showing how matters like this can be handled in a manner that wouldn't result in a minor having a record."
Ex-Cop Found Not Guilty of Killing K-9 Partner
A former Miami-Dade cop was found not guilty of misdemeanor animal cruelty by a jury Friday, ending a four-year saga that will likely have animal activists in a frenzy.
Despite eyewitness testimony that Allen Cockfield repeatedly kicked his K-9 partner Duke until the dog had a seizure and eventually died, the jury reached the conclusion that the 25-year veteran cop's actions were warranted.
Cockfield had faced felony charges for killing a police dog, but the judge tossed the more serious offense out Thursday.
According to eyewitnesses, Cockfield had become angry at Duke because he was barking during an obedience training session.
One officer present during the June 2006 incident testified Cockfield lifted the dog up by its choke chain and then violently kicked the dog five or six times.
The dog then fell limp, wheezing on the ground, before going into a seizure and dying.
Duke and Cockfield had been partners for six months before the incident.
Defense attorneys claimed Cockfield, who has handled police dogs for two decades, was acting in self-defense.
Barracuda bite
Acupuncture patient locked inside clinic with needles in her back
An acupuncture patient was found locked in a Bellingham Washington Clinic Tuesday night after she told police she had been left on the treatment table with needles still in her back. Bellingham police said the woman called 911 and was found by officers locked inside Discovering Health at 1513 E. Street.
Police say the clinic's employees had apparently forgot about her and gone home for the night. The 47 year old woman told officers she pulled the needles out of her own back and tried to leave but the door was locked from the outside.
She tripped the motion sensor security system inside the business. The woman was pulled from the business unharmed. "We are not investigating this. This was just a call for service for us", says Police spokesman Mark Young.
Police are not releasing the woman's name. Discovering Health would not comment on the incident. The Department of Health says it will investigate if a complaint is made.
JOKE: In a small Texas town, the police arrested the local madam
In a small Texas town, the police arrested the local madam and seized her little black book, which listed all her girls. Each officer on the small police force was assigned a group of names and ordered to check them out. After a week, the chief held a meeting. When he called on Detective Summers, Summers replied, "Chief, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to disqualify myself. One of the ladies I questioned is an eighty-four- year-old so charming that I've fallen in love with her." "Tarnation, boy!" exclaimed the chief. "I'm surprised at you, Summers. You've been a policeman almost all your life -- and here you go, falling for the oldest trick in the book!"
Friday, July 30, 2010
Boy with 24 fingers and toes
High School Cheerleader Tackles Thief
A would-be thief is behind bars. Police didn't catch him and neither did mall security. They both had help from a 16-year-old girl.
Watch the video at left and take a good long look at 16-year-old Kealey Oliver; she is one talented cheerleader.
"If I would have thought about it, I probably wouldn't have done it."
She traded tumbling for tackling when she brought down a thief at Penn Square Mall in Oklahoma last weekend.
"I just wasn't going to, like, let him run right past me."
The rising high school junior cheers for the Moore High School Lions. She was at the mall talking to her mother on her cell phone when suddenly a man started running her way.
"I was like, 'Hang on Mom,' and I put the phone down. When he got close to me, I just got in his way and grabbed him and he kept trying to run so I just slammed him on the ground."
By slamming him to the ground she gave mall security the chance to catch up.
"I grabbed him and then put him on his stomach and I was still holding on to him. I don't even know."
She didn't even know what she had done. High School Playbook wanted to know, "What was she thinking?"
"I didn't think. I was shaking. I was like nervous. I didn't know why I did that," Kealey Oliver smiles in amazement.
She got a scratch on her arm and bruised her left knee. And to top it off, she did it all in a dress.
"I was in a strapless dress, yes."
Kealey told all her friends and even posted her story on facebook.
We called Penn Square Mall but got no comment. Police confirmed a shop-lifter was arrested around this time.
To Kealey, it's really no big deal.
"At first, I thought I was just going to stop him, but he kept running. So I was like, okay, I guess you're going to the ground."
Leave your comments below for the cheerleader who suddenly became the hero. (But don't try this at home.)
Teacher Faces Sex Assault Charge For Allegedly Spanking Student
An Enfield Connecticut High School technology teacher has been arrested on sexual assault charges for allegedly spanking a student who was visiting his class, according to court records.
Francis Hajosy, 54, of Stafford, is charged with fourth-degree sexual assault and breach of peace. He was arrested Tuesday and arraigned in superior court Wednesday, where he was released on $5,000 bail.
An arrest warrant affidavit states the student was visiting Hajosy's class on June 9 but was not a student in the class Hajosy was teaching at the time.
While the student was sitting in the class with her feet up on a desk, Hajosy walked up behind her and said "You know, you're not too big for me to put over my knee and spank," the affidavit states.
The student then picked up a can of "spray glue" and sprayed it into the air, and did it a second time after Hajosy told her to stop. The teacher then put his hands on the student's neck and shoulders, and she tried to kick Hajosy to get him to release his grip, the affidavit states.
After she tried to pull Hajosy's hands off her shoulders, Hajosy sat down next to her, lifted her legs in the air off the desk and spanked the student twice, the affidavit states. After she told him to stop, he spanked her twice more, the affidavit states.
Judge Richard Dyer issued a protective order in the case, court records show.
"I'm following state law here, so right now he's suspended [with pay]," said Superintendent John Gallacher on Thursday. "That suspension is standing until we have more information or an investigation."
Gallacher said Hajosy was hired in 1999 as a technology education teacher. He said the district would be in touch with Hajosy but said he could not comment further because the incident is now considered a personnel matter.
GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.
Can I get an AMEN!!
Squirrel the other dark meat ..jumping off supermarket shelves in England
The owner of a local Budgens supermarket has defended selling squirrel meat as a sustainable way of feeding people and says it has a "lovely" taste. Andrew Thornton, started selling the meat about five months ago after requests from customers at his Budgens store in Crouch End, north London. "There are too many squirrels around, we might as well eat them rather than cull them and dispose of them," he said. Thornton sells up to 15 squirrels a week when they are in stock.
The animal welfare group Viva accused Budgens of profiting from a "wildlife massacre". Its founder and director, Juliet Gellatley, said: "If this store is attempting to stand out from the crowd by selling squirrel, the only message they are giving out is that they are happy to have the blood of a beautiful wild animal on their hands for the sake of a few quid." Thornton rejected the claim: "That's not the case at all. If we are selling 10 or 15 a week I don't think that falls into the definition of a massacre."
He predicted more people would eat squirrel in the future. "I think it's lovely. It's bit like rabbit. I think there will be a lot of fuss about this now, but in a few years it will become accepted practice that we eat squirrels. People don't bat an eyelid now about eating rabbit," he said. Thornton buys the meat from a game supplier in Suffolk, the Wild Meat Company, but said he hadn't stocked it for several weeks because the firm had run out of squirrel while it focused on other game products. "We would like to get it back on shelves as soon as we can. We are a mainstream supermarket but we take a very strong sustainability stance," he said.
"We got into it because we had requests from customers. There are a lot of people who understand sustainability issues around here." Thornton claimed that squirrel meat is more sustainable than beef. "It takes about 15 tonnes of grain to produce one tonne of beef, which is not sustainable. "Squirrels will be culled anyway. You have two choices. Either you dispose of them or you eat them."
Got the $$$$$$..Get Yourself an Unusual Pet
Now you can buy tame foxes from Siberia in the US
Tame foxes are becoming better known and desired; however, there has been no official representation of Siberian tame foxes previously.
Genuine tame foxes come from Institute of Cytology and Genetics in Novosibirsk, Russia and are officially distributed by SibFox Inc.
Foxes can live outside or inside.They need shade from excessive heat and rain. A bed or blanket is nice, but optional.
If the fox lives outside, the cage should have a bottom or the walls of the cage should be dug in deep enough so that the fox cannot dig a hole and escape. Inside your house, they will snuggle on a bed like a cat.
$5,950.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
French woman admits killing 8 of her own babies
French prosecutors said Thursday they charged a woman with murder after she admitted giving birth to and smothering eight babies over a 17-year period in northern France.
The woman, Dominique Cottrez, said she hid the pregnancies and deaths from her husband, who said he had no idea what she had done, prosecutor Eric Vaillant told reporters. Cottrez is overweight and was able to conceal the pregnancies, he said.
Cottrez told investigators the reason she killed the babies was that she did not want to have any more children and did not want to see doctors for contraceptives, Vaillant said.
Despite earlier reports that the husband had been charged, Vaillant said he was free to go but may still be investigated. Vaillant said he personally still had "doubts" about the father's story.
"The sky has fallen in on his head," Vaillant said of the father, Pierre-Marie Cottrez. "He indicated he had no idea she was pregnant."
Vaillant said there are no other babies' bodies left to be found.
The case came to light when a couple gardening in their backyard in the northern town of Villers-au-Tertre found two babies' bodies in sealed plastic bags and called police.
Police spoke to Cottrez and her husband, who had previously lived in the home, and Cottrez admitted immediately that she was the mother of the two babies, Vaillant said. She then told police about six others concealed in their garage, Vaillant said.
Those six bodies were also in sealed plastic bags but were covered by various objects, he said.
Cottrez, a nurse, had psychological problems from her first pregnancy, said Pierre-Jean Gribouva, the lawyer for her husband.
"My client is in a deep state of shock," Gribouva told CNN affiliate BFM. "He had no idea about this. He has totally fallen apart."
Map: Babies' bodies found in France RELATED TOPICS
France
The babies were born between 1989 and 2006, but their exact birthdates aren't known, Vaillant said.
"She knew that she was pregnant every time, and she has admitted this," Vaillant said. Cottrez "answered in a very straightforward way."
Cottrez and her husband have two adult daughters, but it was a difficult first pregnancy that sparked her actions, Vaillant said. Because of her weight, the first pregnancy was "traumatic," and she didn't want to go through it again, he said.
Vaillaint did not explain why Cottrez went through a second pregnancy with her other daughter before apparently committing the crimes.
Pierre-Marie Cottrez hopes the public does not make "simplistic conclusions" about his wife, Gribouva told BFM.
The family members "are supporting the wife and the mother because they realize she has serious problems," he said. "There is no rejection of her as a wife and mother."
Psychotherapist Lucy Beresford told CNN that very little was known about incidences of infanticide because it was a taboo subject. A paper published in the Journal of the American Medical Association by researchers in North Carolina estimated that 2.1 cases of infanticide occurred for every 100,000 births, but Beresford said the body of psychological research was "slim."
Research suggested that women who denied or concealed their pregnancies, for whatever reason, were a "high-risk" group, she said. But other factors could trigger infanticide as well.
"It could actually be to do with the social isolation of the mother, or it could be their psychopathology prior to pregnancy," Beresford told CNN.
"For example, do they have a history of substance abuse or other mental health concerns that have contributed to them being in this situation which they cannot accept as a reality?"
Postnatal depression could also be a possible contributory factor, she said.
"That could be because when they're depressed they're not really of sound mind. It could be that they genuinely believe they are unworthy to be a parent. Or it could just be the level of disordered thinking that comes with being depressed."
Woman Steals Clothes For Interview Where She is Applying For a Job
Don't leave your resume behind at the scene of the crime. Barrie, Ontario, police didn't have to look too hard for an alleged shoplifter who was hunting for a job at the same time over the weekend.
The 40-year-old woman was at a Bayfield St. store for a job interview but after meeting the store manager and handing over her resume, the woman was spotted on store security cameras allegedly lifted several items, police said. She bolted with the items and the store manager, who was in the backroom at the time, called the cops.
Police attended the store and, as they say in their press release, "easily identified the thief using her resume." Investigators sifting through security footage also found the woman had been in the store the previous day.
Police allege she is on video stealing the clothing that she wore for her job interview. The unidentified woman has been charged with two counts of theft under $5,000. "It is unlikely that she will be getting an interview in the near future," police concluded.
Deer Magnet: Iowa teen driver hits 5 deer in one year
CONRAD, Iowa -- A 17-year-old from Conrad is convinced she is approaching a painful record. In the last 12 months, she said she has hit five deer while driving her family's vehicles.
Kacee Larson said her string of bad luck began around 11 p.m. one night last July when she was driving home from her work at a local ice cream shop.
"Then I saw the deer and I was just like boom," said Kacee.
She pointed to the front of her white minivan and said, "There used to be a grill here and it just kind of divided it in half."
Kacee was able to drive the vehicle home, but worried about waking up her mom.
"I came home crying because I didn't know what my mom was going to say," said Kacee.
"I'm going, 'Oh, no!'" said her mom, Ronda Chesick.
The girl, who normally wears a full chest brace because of scoliosis, was fine. Her minivan was damaged but drivable.
Kacee's second encounter with deer happened just a few months later, while she was driving to church on a Sunday morning.
"It just kind of was there," Kacee laughed. "It flipped up over the vehicle and I killed it. I had my sister with me and she screamed."
This time, she hit the deer with her mom's van, busting up another grill.
Kacee said her third encounter with a deer happened a few months later, just miles from her home north of Conrad, while taking a cross country teammate home from practice. The 17-year-old thought she saw a cat in the ditch.
"Well, instead of it being a cat, it's a deer, pops up, pretty much just nicks the van and goes back down," said Kacee. She pointed at her minivan again, saying, "Got some deer hair out of that one."
This spring, Kacee's string of bad luck continued. She was on her way to her baby-sitting job at 5:30 a.m. one morning when she spotted deer and slowed down.
"I was driving along and it came off the side and rammed right into me and then -- pulled over and looked at the damage and like, 'Crap. Another one,'" Kacee said.
But to show off her fourth crash, she had to point to her mom's car. "It hit right here," Kacee said. "And then this was pushed in more, we pulled it out a little bit. And then it came back and hit this door and this was pushed in a lot more."
"It's the only vehicle left we really had to drive," said Kacee.
Ronda, her mom, admitted, "I was furious and I chewed her out because it was my car. My van had broke down and the car was the only thing we had that was nice."
Kacee's mom quickly calmed down, realizing her daughter was safe and hadn't been driving irresponsibly. The deer had hit her.
Word began circulating around town that the girl who will be a senior this fall at BCLUW High School had hit four deer in less than a year.
"I was told by my pastor's wife to start praying before I get in a vehicle and I started doing that and I did that all the way to work this morning until I hit the deer and so I don't know what happened today," she said Friday, just hours after hitting her fifth deer in 12 months.
Last Friday, she was on her way to work as a baby sitter on County Road S-75, when she hit the fifth deer head on, deploying her airbag.
"Then all the sudden there's one in front of me and I'm like, 'Dang it,'" she said. "I hit dead center right here. You can see the hood has been pulled up. Everything's been shoved inside."
Kacee's mother Ronda was woken up with a phone call around 3:45 a.m. A Grundy County deputy responded since Kacee had bruises from the airbag up and down her arms. The crash totaled Kacee's minivan.
Law enforcement officers often use the phrase 'don't veer for deer,' explaining that drivers who quickly attempt to avoid deer crashes often roll their vehicle or veer into oncoming traffic. Kacee has been following that advice, but asks, "Why does it happen to me? Why me? Why pick me?"
Considering the seriousness of the five crashes, Kacee and her mother are keeping their sense of humor, referring to the teenager as a deer magnet.
Kacee's mother jokingly said, "Let's find a 50 dollar car and put a steel plate in the front. That way, if she hits a deer it's just going to bounce off."
Wedding photographer shot dead after he asked bride and groom to pose with guns
A wedding photographer was accidentally shot dead after he asked the happy couple to pose with guns as part of the big day celebrations, Italian police have revealed.
Calogero Scimea, 45, was hit in the head after one of the guns went off.
He died in front of horrified bride Valentina Anitra, 22, and groom Ignazio Licodia, 25, as well as their parents.
Police said the tragedy happened just before the couple, who are teenage sweethearts, set off for their local church at Altofonte near Palermo on the island of Sicily.
Police were today questioning them as well as their relatives.
Prosecutors said the groom's parents rail worker Mario, 56, and his wife Rita, face possible charges of negligence leading to manslaughter, as the tragedy happened at their house.
Officers said the bride's parents, who live nearby, were also asked if they had any guns and went home to bring one of their own. All the firearms were legally held.
Ballistics experts have also been called in to examine the weapons, which were hunting rifles kept for shooting mainly wild boar in the nearby hills and countryside.
Palermo police spokesman Colonel Teo Luzi said: 'From what we have been able to establish the photographer had asked the parents of the bride and groom if they had any guns to use as props in a picture and one went off hitting him in the head killing him.
'He was only there as a favor for the wedding photographer who had been originally been booked but had to pull out as he was ill. The bride and groom were distraught and the wedding was immediately cancelled.
'The prosecutor is looking at bringing charges against the groom's parents as this is where the death took place but we need to examine the ballistics report first as the bride's parents also brought a weapon.'
Teenage sweethearts: Bride Valentina Anitra and groom Ignazio Licodia were posing for pictures on their big day when the accident happened
He added: 'The firearms were legally held but in the interests of safety they should all be kept safe and not be handled by people who are not used to them and have no experience.
'What we are trying to establish is if the gun went off as it was being handled by the photographer or if it went off as it was handed to him but no-one is being very talkative.'
In southern Italy and especially Sicily it is common for guns to be fired at family events or festivals as part of the celebrations and in the past this has led to numerous deaths and injuries especially around New Year.
Altofonte's deputy mayor Angela Busellini said: 'No-one can believe it. Everybody is in a state of shock. It's such a tragic accident. The bride and groom are devastated.'
JOKE: SLEEPING BEAUTY, TOM THUMB, HUNCHBACK
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and the Hunchback of Notre Dame were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
The Hunchback of Notre Dame said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."
So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy."It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphantly, "I officially the smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, the Hunchback of Notre Dame comes out looking utterly confused and says, "Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell?"
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Baby 'drowned by priest during baptism'
A priest in eastern Europe has been accused of drowning a baby boy as he baptised him. Police are investigating Father Valentin for accidential homicide after witnesses at the ceremony said the priest did not cover the baby's mouth during the ritual.
Father Valentin had denied being responsible for the baby's death during the baptism in Moldova. The six-week-old baby died on the way to hospital and an autopsy found he had drowned, the baby's dad Dumitru Gaidau said.
Mr Gaidau, 36, said his son was clearly in distress during the ceremony. "He couldn't inhale, his face turned blue and he was foaming at the mouth. He [the priest] said we should not interrupt this their ritual," he said.
"We couldn't believe it that he just put his hand over his belly and over the head and submerged him three times in the water." Water was found in the baby's lungs.
The baby's godmother, Aliona Vacarciuc, said the baby had been crying as the priest submerged him in the water. "We couldn't believe it but we thought the priest must know what he's doing, but he didn't. When we got him back there was nothing that could be done anymore," she said.
When the baby's angry relatives confronted the priest, he told them he knew what he was doing and was experienced at baptisms, Ms Vacarciuc said. If found guilty of accidental homicide, Father Valentin could spend three years in jail.
bear gets in NH house, eats fruit, drinks water from fishbowl, takes stuffed bear to go
LACONIA, N.H. - A black bear walked into a New Hampshire house through an open door, ate two pears and a bunch of grapes, took a drink from the family fishbowl and grabbed a stuffed bear on its way out the door.
Mary Beth Parkinson says the bear apparently took advantage of the open outside door to get into her kitchen Tuesday in Laconia, about 20 miles north of Concord. She thinks the garage door going up scared the bear enough that it fled the house.
She says she arrived in time to save the fish.
Parkinson said her 6- and 9-year-old boys made sure the doors were locked before they went to bed.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
JOKE: Ole and Sven were fishing in Minnesota
Ole and Sven were fishing in the Minnesota opener when Sven pulled out a cigar.
Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.
'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' he replied, and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.
'Yiminy Cricket!' exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. 'Vere dit yew git dat monster??'
'Vell,' replied Ole, 'I got it from my Genie.'
'You haff a Genie?' Sven asked.
'Ya, shure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Ole.
'Could I see him?'
Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.
Addressing the genie, Sven says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?'
'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.
So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.
The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.
Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks... flying directly overhead.
Over the roar of the million ducks, Sven yells at Ole, 'Yumpin' Yimminy, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'
Ole answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat DA Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?"E-MAIL FROM AN ARAB STUDENT TO HIS DAD
Dear Dad
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really
like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive
at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB
when all my teachers and many fellow students
travel by train.
Your son, Nasser
---------------------------------------------------------------
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail
from his dad:
My dear loving son
Forty million US dollar has just been transferred
to your account. Please stop embarrassing us.
Go and get yourself a train too.
Love, your Dad
10Q JJ
VIDEO: Strange Clouds Mesmerize Japanese Airliner Crew
These strange clouds were videotaped from the window of a Japanese airliner over the sea of Okhotsk last summer, they stretched over 60 miles.
MOST INCREDIBLE ACCIDENT BAR NONE
Teen Accused of Putting Lysol in Mother's Drink
Woist mom ever cleaned bathroom with son's toothbrush, police say
A man called police to a home in the 2100 block of Springtown Hill Road in Lower Saucon Township, Pennsylvania to report that his mother put feces on his toothbrush, police said in a news release today.
Bank robbery suspect caught despite fake breasts, wig and clown pants
Monday, July 26, 2010
Hiker rushed to hospital after being hit by falling mountain goat
JOKE: YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF...
Accused double-murderer asks Utah paper to bring back "Garfield"
OGDEN -- As Jeremy Valdes faces the death penalty in a double homicide, he recently e-mailed a letter to the Ogden Utah Standard-Examiner, much to the surprise of lawyers on both sides of the case.
Commenting on a June 25 hearing on a motion to suppress his apparent confession to the murders, Valdes comments on a police officer cousin's testimony against him, calling another officer apparently drunk on the stand, and attacks, mildly, the credibility of his co-defendant Miranda Statler. She is the main witness against him and is already serving a potential 20-year prison term for her guilty pleas in the murder case.
Valdes also faults the Standard-Examiner's coverage, and concludes by casting votes for cartoons under consideration by the paper.
"While I have you here, my friends and I would like to request that you bring back the comics, Pearls Before Swines and Garfield. Thank you."
Valdes assails the testimony of Sgt. Shane Hubbard of the Roy Police Department at the June 25 hearing, which has been continued to Aug. 13: " ... was so impaired that he literally nodded off several times during his very slurred and confusing testimony. There is no way that Judge Di Caria (sic) and the prosecution didn't notice. The reason I'm certain, that his testimony was cut short."
Advised of the letter, Weber County Attorney Dee Smith asked to respond on Hubbard's behalf: "That's ridiculous," Smith said. "He didn't nod off and he certainly wasn't impaired. I'm certain Mr. Valdes is saying that because Sgt. Hubbard's testimony is very damaging to his case."
Smith said he found the statement peculiar because Hubbard wasn't the only officer in the room at the time of Valdes' admissions. He wouldn't comment further.
Like the prosecution, defense attorneys had no idea Valdes was sending the letter, transmitted by e-mail from a relative.
"We, and defense attorneys in general, absolutely do not like clients doing that," Ryan Bushell said. "It hinders what we're trying to do with a case. We want to control what goes out to the press."
Bushell also declined to comment further.
Valdes is currently held without bail in the Weber County Jail.
Jealous woman lures victim to videotaped brass-knuckle beating
An 18-year-old woman has been charged with tricking a romantic rival to drive to a Sherburne County, Minnesota lake and then bloodying her with brass-knuckle punches to the head as a crowd watched and someone video-recorded the ambush on a cell phone.
Once that video was analyzed by the U.S. Secret Service, arrests were made of beating suspect Sarah Jean Jarosz of Zimmerman, and alleged accomplice Steven Michael Boyer, 20, of Elk River.
A county computer forensic investigator recovered portions of the video from the phone, which was recorded on March 17 at the public access to Elk Lake in northeastern Sherburne County. That video was sent to the Secret Service, whose experts restored its entirety.
Sheriff Joel Brott said the video was "critical evidence" that helped in Wednesday's arrests more than four months after the beating.
Jarosz and Boyer were both charged Friday with second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon. Boyer is not Jarosz's boyfriend.
According to the criminal complaints against them:
A 19-year-old woman told a sheriff's sergeant that she received text from a male friend's cell phone in the afternoon about seeing a movie together and that they should meet by the Little Elk boat landing.
At the landing, the woman saw several cars and eight or so people standing around. She did not see her friend.
Jarosz approached the woman and asked whether she knew that her friend had a girlfriend. The woman said yes, and Jarosz responded, "I'm his girlfriend."
Jarosz hit the woman in the chest, put on brass knuckles given to her by Boyer and struck the woman three times on the side of the head and twice on the side of her torso. During the beating, Jarosz told the woman that she was the one texting her on her friend's cell phone luring her to the lake.
The bloodied woman went back to her car and got away before a running Jarosz could catch up and land another punch.
Investigators learned that Jarosz got her hands on her boyfriend's cell phone after he left it at her home the night before. She went through it and determined that he had been communicating with the woman.
Jarosz then invited her friends to the lake so they could see her fight the woman.
Multiple witnesses supported the woman's account of being beaten and added that the victim did not fight back but pleaded with Jarosz to stop.
About a month later, Boyer told police that Jarosz let him know about her plot to lure the woman to the lake. He said he provided her with the brass knuckles, which were part of his belt buckle, and drove Jarosz to the lake that afternoon. Boyer also threw away the brass knuckles at Jarosz's orders.
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