Indian woman breastfeeds calf

Breastfeeding has become a thorny issue in the West, with some women declaring the act 'creepy' while others fervently believe 'breast is best'. But for Couthi Bai, a villager from Kilchu, India, the decision to breastfeed an orphaned calf after its mother died was a natural one. She tells her story.

Since the death of the calf's mother when it was only three days old, Chouthi Bai has breastfed the animal three or four times a day. "After her mother died, I held her in my arms and breastfed her. I nurtured her by feeding her my milk. She was so young when the cow died. For me there is no difference between a calf and an infant," Bai, a resident of Kilchu village in India's desert state of Rajasthan, said on Saturday.

Bai's calf seems to have taken naturally to the breast-milk, which is supplemented with chapatis and water. "I feed her three or four times a day, the same amount an infant requires in a day. Sometimes we have to feed her chapatis, we give her water to drink and slowly she will grow on this diet," Bai said.

The 46-day-old calf now follows her wherever she goes. Hindus consider the cow a sacred animal. "The gods will be pleased if I raise her," Bai said.

JOKE: A Cucumber, a Pickle, and a Penis

One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were all discussing how much their lives suck.

The cucumber says, "I get picked from my home, sliced up, and thrown into a salad. My life sucks the most."

The pickle then says, "I get picked from my home, shoved in a jar, submerged in liquid thats smells awful. So my life sucks the most."

The penis then says, "Oh please! My life definitely sucks the most. I get a tarp wrapped over my head, stuck in a wet black hole, and rammed against a wall until I vomit."

�� Got Caption ?? 9/1

Woman Missing Since April Found in Her Home Under Piles of Rubbish

Billie Jean James carries a peace sign while marching with the Nevada Desert Experience
A four month search for a missing woman in the US had ended after she was found buried under piles of rubbish at her home. Billie Jean James was found by her husband who had been living in the same house as his wife’s corpse. He spotted one of her feet sticking out from underneath the mountain of rubbish and clutter that littered their Las Vegas home.
Police had searched the house several times while looking for the 67-year-old who was known to be a compulsive hoarder. Sniffer dogs had been sent into the property but were unable to locate the body amid floor to ceiling piles of clothes, rubbish, empty food boxes and other goods that Mrs James had stored. Officials believe rotting food and other pungent smells stopped the dogs from working properly.
“For our dogs to go through that house and not find something should be indicative of the tremendous environmental challenges they faced,” said Las Vegas police spokesman Bill Cassell. Friends said Mrs James was compulsive hoarder who spent her weekends buying goods at car boot sales. She also frequented thrift shops and refused to allow anyone into her house because he was so ashamed of the mess.
Police said small pathways had been forged through the clutter to allow the couple to move around the house. Her husband Bill James, 68, first reported his wife missing in April. He feared she might have suffered a stroke and become disorientated.

Mother and newborn in critical condition after doctors brawl

Police were yesterday questioning staff at a hospital in Sicily where a child was born with suspected brain damage after two doctors attending his mother allegedly came to blows over the need for a caesarean as she went into labor. Laura Salpietro, 30, had her womb removed following the birth. Her husband claims this took place almost an hour and a half late because of the brawl. The child had two heart attacks shortly after the birth and is still in a drug-induced coma.
Both doctors have been suspended, and the incident, at the Policlinico hospital, in Messina, last Thursday, is the subject of four investigations – by the hospital authorities, a local prosecutor, the regional health authority, and the ministry of health in Rome. One of the doctors involved and the head of the hospital's obstetrics department have denied a link between the fight and the subsequent events. But the woman's husband, Matteo Molonia, said there had been no previous hint of complications. "The sonographic scans and clinical examinations had ruled out any health problems for my wife and son," he said.


"My wife was already in the labor room when her gynaecologist, who followed her pregnancy, and another doctor began to argue. The dispute erupted when her personal gynaecologist suggested a caesarean and the other objected." Italy has one of the world's lowest rates of maternal mortality, but also has one of the highest rates of caesarean section, amounting to 38% of all births. According to Italian media accounts, Salpietro's gynaecologist, Antonio De Vivo, punched his hand through a window after his collar was grabbed by the second doctor. Asked for a comment De Vivo later said: "I merely say that in this matter I am the wronged party and I was attacked."
Molonia, 37, a private detective, was quoted as saying he saw De Vivo leave the labor room with blood dripping from his hand. "There is a gap that goes from 7.40 [in the morning], when the row blew up, to nine o'clock, when they operated on my wife. Why did all that time go by?" The other doctor, Vincenzo Benedetto, said there had been "exaggeration by the media", and that "everything happened with the greatest speed". He said the complications at the birth were due to a "pre-existing pathology". The head of the obstetrics unit, Domenico Granese, said that the complications at the birth of Salpietro's child occurred "not because of the row or because of any delay".

Body of California doctor found in chimney flue

A doctor involved in an "on-again, off-again" relationship apparently tried to force her way into her boyfriend’s home by sliding down the chimney, police said Tuesday. Her decomposing body was found there three days later.
Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, first tried to get into the house with a shovel, then climbed a ladder to the roof last Wednesday night, removed the chimney cap and slid feet first down the flue, Bakersfield police Sgt. Mary DeGeare said.
While she was trying to break in, the man she was pursuing escaped unnoticed from another exit "to avoid a confrontation," authorities said.
DeGeare said the two were in an "on-again, off-again" relationship.
The man’s identity was not revealed by police, but the man who resides in the home is William Moodie. He declined to comment when reached Tuesday by The Associated Press, saying police instructed him not to discuss the matter.
Kotarac apparently died in the chimney, but her body was not discovered until a house-sitter noticed a stench and fluids coming from the fireplace Saturday, according to a police statement. The house-sitter and her son investigated with a flashlight and found Kotarac dead, wedged about two feet above the top of the interior fireplace opening.
Firefighters spent five hours late Saturday dismantling the chimney and flue from outside the home to extract Kotarac’s body, DeGeare said.
Officials said Kotarac’s office staff reported her missing two days prior when she failed to show for work. Her car and belongings remained near the man’s house.
A cause of death has not been determined, and an autopsy was scheduled for Tuesday. Foul play is not suspected, though investigators have been looking into the incident as suspicious.

This golfer is a real flamer..talk about hot shots...

You can use a golf club for all kinds of non-golfy purposes -- walking stick, fishing rod, club, to name three. And now we can add to that list -- firestarter.

Over the weekend, a golfer's routine swing in the rough at the Shady Canyon Golf Course in Irvine, Calif., struck a rock. Not so different from the way you play, right? Only this time, the impact caused a spark, and the spark set off a blaze that eventually covered 25 acres, according to the Steven Buck, General Manager of Shady Canyon Golf Course, and required the efforts of 150 Orange County firefighters, writes the Associated Press.

Wow. And I felt bad the time I shanked a ball through the window of a house too close to the fairway. That was nothing compared to this!

The golfer's name is being withheld, which is probably for the best, and no charges are going to be filed. Fortunately, it all could have been much worse. As it was, the blaze required both helicopters and on-the-ground crews.

The conditions were ripe for a blaze, with dry brush from a recent heat wave just waiting for the right spark. Like, say, one caused by metal on rock.

And now, your turn. This is going to inspire a raft of bad Sportscenter-esque "When we say he set the course on fire, he really set the course on fire!" jokes. So let's get ahead of the curve. Best bad golf-and-fire-related pun in the comments wins a round of applause. Go!

Burglars blow the front off house

Burglars blew the front off a house after triggering an astonishing explosion during a break in, say police. The house breakers had sneaked into the three-story detached property in Bochum, Germany, and made off with a laptop and jewelry.

Before leaving they way they had come in - through the basement - they poured petrol on the floor and lit it with a match from outside - but instead of starting a fire it triggered a massive blast.

"The fumes mixed with the air in an enclosed space and exploded the liquid instead of igniting it. We think they intended to cover their tracks by setting a fire - and didn't anticipate what would happen," said a police spokesman.

The crooks escaped although it is unclear if they were hurt in the blast. The three people that lived in the house were not present at the time.

Feral cats fuel tourism in Taiwanese town

Feral cats have brought new life to a Taiwanese coal-mining community that had seen better days, until tourists tuned into the tabbies and calicos that call the town home. Visitors' raves on local blogs have helped draw cat lovers to fondle, frolic and photograph the 100 or so resident felines in Houtong, one of several industrial communities in decline since Taiwan's railroads electrified and oil grew as a power source.

Most towns have never recovered, but this tiny community of 200 is fast reinventing itself as a cat lover's paradise. "It was more fun than I imagined," said 31-year-old administrative assistant Yu Li-hsin, who visited from Taipei. "The cats were clean and totally unafraid of people. I'll definitely return."

On a recent weekday afternoon, dozens of white, black, grey and calico-coloured cats wandered freely amid Houtong's craggy byways, while visitors memorialized the scene with cellphone cameras and tickled the creatures silly with feather-tipped sticks. The cats' reaction seemed to range from indifference to reluctant engagement. Locals are delighted with the tourist influx, seeing it as an antidote to Houtong's stark decline etched in dozens of abandoned structures and acres of unkempt overgrowth.

Retiree Chan Bi-yun, 58, takes a lot of the credit for Houtong's feline-induced rebirth. "I started raising five cats that belonged to a neighbour who passed away nine years ago, and they gave birth to more and more kitties," she said. "Now I feed about half of Houtong's cat population." Chan said most of her proteges wander freely and she provides special help only for abandoned kittens. She also gets assistance from volunteers who provide free veterinary care and cat food.

this is for my friend 'the Cat Whisperer' VARainy

Duelling Sitars

JOKE: Ole and Lena

Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. Lena went every Sunday and taught Sunday School. Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in a while, he went on one of the other Sundays. On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and he noticed vhat a fine looking woman she was.

Vhile dey were taking up the collection, Ole leaned forward and said, "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?"

"Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena.

Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. All week long he polished up his old Ford, and on Friday he picked Lena up and took her to the finest restaurant in New Ulm.
When they sat down, Ole looked over at Lena and said, "Hey, Lena, vould you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?"
Vell, Ole was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?"
"Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?"

Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. He'd struck out twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose.

"Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?"
"Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena.

Vell, Ole couldn't believe his luck. He did a U-turn right then and there across the median and everything, and drove back to the motel and checked in vith Lena.
The next morning Ole got up first. He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her hair all spread out on her pillow.

"Vat have I done? Vat have I done?" thought Ole.

He shook Lena and she woke up. "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. "Vat are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"

"Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time!"

�� Got Caption ?? 8/31

THIS IS SO COOL ..THE CHEVY 789..A CUSTOM CAR FOR YOU

After you hit the lotto and have a few, shall we say discretionary dollars, here is a car that you might like to park in your garage. I see cars as art and love them for their design and their capabilities.
789
 Melding design elements from different Chevy models, the 789 shows the world that you really can’t have enough of a good thing. Although the 789 looks instantly iconic, it is actually the best of three classics mounted atop a Le Mans-winning Corvette C6 chassis. Aptly named for the three years represented in the overall design, the 789 has the "hooded eyes"and chrome grille of a ’57, a mid-section that’s reminiscent of a ’58 Impala and the "bird in flight" rear tailfins of a ’59. These three Vehicles are all instantly recognizable classics celebrated by people around the world.
Owning and operating a classic car often proves difficult. Rarity of parts, expertise needed for installation, and potentially high upkeep or restoration costs are some of the problems with which collectors must deal. All of the money in the world spent to modify or modernize a vintage car will not change the reliability or performance problems associated with it. The 789 offers the best of both worlds: retro looks and styling, and it will fire up every time you turn the key. The body is constructed of lightweight composite panels. We have developed a process of using 80% carbon fiber with 20% fiberglass. This process gives us a light weight rigid part as if it was 100% carbon fiber with the minimal properties of fiberglass that allows for show quality paint and finish.
The customer can either provide us with a donor C6 series (2005-2009) Corvette, which currently retails for around $60,000 (though used models can be had for less), or we can locate one for you. After stripping the ‘Vette of its stock body, we hand-graft the retro body panels over the stock frame, suspension, and massive 440-horsepower, 6.0-liter aluminum-block V8 engine. The base cost of conversion is $80,000, which includes choice of interior/exterior color schemes, specific 789 exhaust, and PST high-performance sway bars. A full range of upgrades are available, including up to 800 hp powertrains, custom suspension, audio/video/navigation systems, interior customization, and more. We will build each 789 to meet the customer's specifications. However, please note that no previously built combination of paint scheme and interior treatment will be duplicated.
 

http://www.n2amotors.com/

VIDEO: Man rescues baby squirrel from oven hood and reunites it with its mother

"Came home to hear some squeaking in the vent above my stove. Found a baby squirrel inside and took apart the vent hood. Rescued lil baby squirrel and reunited him with his mommy.

Took about 2 hours from getting home to reunion. Lil bugger couldn't open his eyes. It was difficult resisting the urge to love him, feed him, raise him and call him George, but seeing that his mommy retrieved him made me feel better. A local animal welfare place told me to nail the box to a tree outside for the mom to hear his squeals. I had just set up my tripod with camcorder and I heard something moving in the tree. Lucky timing to capture the reunion. He had stopped squeaking a few minutes prior, so the mom probably smelled him."

VIDEO: Cat Loves Video Game

Biggest College Football Player Ever..6'11" 400 lb'er at Ole Miss

Ole Miss offensive lineman Terrell Brown may be the biggest Rebel player ever at 6-foot-11, compared to 5-foot-8 receiver Richie Contartesi. Brown's extreme size has drawn plenty of attention.

If it wasn't for the presence of former Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli, Terrell Brown would be the most talked-about walk-on at Ole Miss.

As it is, Brown has gotten his share of attention, and that's something to which he's grown accustomed.

When you're 6-foot-11 on a football field, people talk about you.

"Everywhere I go, somewhere people come up and talk to me," says Brown, a sophomore who last played at Mississippi Delta Community College two years ago.

When the curious approach Brown, they find a young man of pleasant demeanor, even if they have to strain their necks to engage him.

Brown's height would not be so out of place on a basketball court, but when you consider he has often carried more than 400 pounds, he becomes a different sort of physical presence. He is believed to be the largest player ever for the Rebels.

Because of his size, news of Brown's arrival earlier this month quickly reached the Internet where Rivals.com said, "Terrell Brown may be the largest football player you've ever seen."

"I know I've never had a 6-11 guy. He's my first," Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt said.

The bigger question for Nutt is what - if anything - to do with Brown this season. He has practiced with the field goal unit and field goal block unit.

"Where he could help us is in goal-line situations. You go some unbalanced and add another lineman out there, and you're talking about real unbalanced. Oh my gosh," Nutt said.

Physically, Brown can get in his stance and move from Point A to Point B, but Nutt said, "to ask him to block or pass protect is not fair."

Successful offensive linemen play low to the ground, and the biggest problem for someone so big is to become so small.

Offensive line coach Mike Markuson was concerned upon Brown's arrival of the player's ability to bend and to get as low as necessary.

There's been some improvement in that area, but not enough to believe Brown, who is listed as a tackle, will help along the line of scrimmage this season.

He got a snap or two in last Saturday's scrimmage, but they weren't productive enough for him to stay in the game.

"He does have some natural bending ability, but he needs to work with our strength staff to just get stronger," Markuson said. "If he'll stay with us and just work, he's going to have a chance. This year, probably not, and he knows that, but he's a great kid, and we're pleased as punch that he's here."

Brown weighed 415 pounds when he checked in on Aug. 6 but said he's between 380 and 390 pounds now.

"I've been running around like crazy, and I've lost 25 pounds," he said. "I feel like I'm in shape."

Mentally, he knows he's behind.

"I've got to learn the plays. The other guys have been here longer than me, and they know more. You can't play if you don't know what you're doing."

If the point comes that Brown's flexibility, conditioning, desire and understanding of the offense all intersect, the Rebels could have themselves a pretty good player - in a sport where size does matter.

"I've been pretty big ever since I was in middle school," said Brown, who grew up in Drew. "I left middle school at 6-8, and I just kept going higher and higher and higher."

Sleepwalker beats sex rap

BLOOMINGTON, Ill. (AP) - A central Illinois man with a history of sleepwalking has been acquitted of sexually assaulting a sleeping woman.

McClean County jurors deliberated for less than two hours before acquitting 24-year-old Mathew Nelson of Bloomington.

A 21-year-old woman testified she and Nelson drank with friends before Nelson fell asleep on her couch. She says Nelson later entered her bedroom and assaulted her.

Defense attorneys argued that even if Nelson committed the assault, he wasn't responsible because of his sleepwalking condition.

Nelson testified that he remembered falling asleep and waking up to find a man punching him. The man was called by the alleged victim.

Assistant State's Attorney Jennifer Patton said it was "a tough case" and that there's no case law in Illinois on sleepwalking.

JOKE: The new preacher was making rounds

The new preacher was making rounds visiting his parishioners. He knocked on the door of one house and this young man about 10 answered the door. He had a lit cigarette in one hand, a can of beer in the other, and a Hustler magazine under his arm.

'Hello, son - I'm Rev. Smith.... is your mom or dad at home?'

The kid looked up at him and said 'What the F*** do YOU THINK!'

ty Jim

GOT CAPTION? 8/30

Madonna impersonator sues over Britain's Got Talent put downs w/VIDEO

A Madonna impersonator is suing Britain's Got Talent over jibes made by one of the show's judges Simon Cowell. Philip Grimmer, 57, made it through to the semi-final of the TV programme earlier this year. For the live show, he performed a rendition of Madonna's Hung Up wearing a purple leotard, wig and knee-high boots.

Cowell called him a "hard of hearing and short-sighted Madonna" and described the act as "'monstrous". He added: "Madonna at 95 would look better and dance better than you."

Mr Grimmer, who is partially deaf and short sighted, accuses the show of discrimination over a disability and the fact he was introduced by presenters Ant and Dec as a "successful drag queen". The married father-of-one, from Ilford, claims he could be mistaken for a gay cross-dresser when he is simply a Madonna impersonator. He is demanding �250,000 for lost earnings and injury to feelings.

In legal papers submitted to the Central London Employment Tribunal, Mr Grimmer said: "I was discriminated against by Simon Cowell and the two presenters Ant and Dec and by one of the assistant producers. "I was singled out by these persons and received unfair and worse treatment and comments on the live TV show than other contestants."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEMFDtlcgVI

VIDEO: Sleeping Dog Too 2

VIDEO: Sleeping Dog

VIDEO: Corgis on a treadmill

JOKE: A wealthy Australian man decided to go on a safari in Africa

A wealthy Australian man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet Dingo along for company.

One day, the Dingo starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost.

Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dingo thinks, "Geez, I'm in deep poop now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dingo exclaims loudly, "Bugger me dead, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dingo nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dingo sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving Aussie canine."

Now the dingo sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, " Struth, what am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet.. and just when they get close enough to hear, the dingo says, "Where the bloody hell's that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

GOT CAPTION? 8/29

MIRACLE? Mother's cuddle brings dead baby 'back to life'

An Australian woman has told how she apparently brought her premature baby son back to life with two hours of cuddles after doctors had declared him dead. Jamie Ogg showed no signs of life when he was delivered along with a twin sister at just 27 weeks gestation and weighing 2lb at a hospital in Sydney.

Doctors said they had lost him and he was given to his mother, Kate, who unwrapped his blankets and placed him on her chest so she and her husband, David, could say their goodbyes.

Following two hours of cuddling and being spoken to by his parents, Jamie began to gasp. Doctors initially claimed it was a "reflex" but the baby began gasping more often and then opened his eyes.

The family have spoken of their experience for the first time since Jamie was born five months ago. They told of the importance of "skin-to-skin" bonding between mother and baby in a technique also known as the "kangaroo touch" in Australia because of the way the animals held their newborns close to the skin in their pouch.

Mrs Ogg said: "I thought, 'Oh my God, what's going on?' A short time later he opened his eyes. It was a miracle. I told my mum, who was there, that he was still alive. Then he held out his hand and grabbed my finger. He opened his eyes and moved his head from side to side."

The survival of Jamie, whose twin was named Emily, has baffled doctors. Mr Ogg said: "Luckily, I've got a very strong, very smart wife. She instinctively did what she did. If she hadn't have done that, then Jamie probably wouldn't be here."

Customs officers in Thailand find tiger cub hidden in bag of cuddly toys

A Thai woman has been detained by airport authorities in Bangkok after they found a drugged tiger cub stashed alongside a stuffed toy in her luggage.

The 31-year-old, who was booked to fly to Iran, had checked in with an overweight suitcase, so it was sent away to be X-rayed by officials.

According to wildlife trade monitoring group Traffic, a live animal was detected and, when the bag was opened, a sedated baby tiger was discovered.

The cub, estimated to be about three months old, was sent on to a wildlife conservation centre in Bangkok.

Chaiyaporn Chareesaeng, head of the centre's wildlife health unit, said the animal has been under close supervision.

"He appeared exhausted, dehydrated and couldn't walk, so we had to give him oxygen, water and lactation," he said.

"We have monitored him closely. As of today, he looks better and can walk a little now."

The woman, identified as Piyawan Palasarn, was charged with wildlife smuggling. If found guilty, she faces up to four years in prison and a 40,000 baht (�824) fine.

She has denied the suitcase was hers, telling authorities another passenger had asked her to carry it for them.

The cub could have fetched about 100,000 baht (�2,060) on the black market in Iran, where it is popular to have exotic pets.

But Nirath Nipanant, chief of the airport's wildlife checkpoint, said the baby tiger may not have even made the journey.

"I was a bit shocked because an animal isn't supposed to be treated like this," he said.

"Had the animal passed the oversize baggage check and gone through four to five hours of travel, its chances of survival would have been slim."

A DNA test was expected to provide details about the baby tiger's origin, wildlife officials added.

Zurich Switzerland planning drive-in sex-boxes

Police chiefs in Switzerland are planning to build a series of drive-in sex-boxes to enable prostitutes to conduct their business without disturbing the neighborhood.

The idea - imported from German cities like Essen and Cologne - is being proposed by Zurich police chief Daniel Leupi as a way to let prostitutes work in a more discrete way.

The idea comes after thousands of complaints by householders whose homes overlook the thriving red light district in Zurich.

'They get up to all sorts in broad daylight - and we're sick to death of looking at it,' said one.

Police spokesman Reto Casanova (his actual name) said: 'We can't get rid of prostitution, so have to learn how to control it.'

Man kept as slave for six months

An Australian man was held captive for six months, forced to work as a slave and repeatedly bashed at the hands of the couple he lodged with, a court heard yesterday.

The 26-year-old, who was in a serious condition in Sydney's Westmead Hospital last night, is dehydrated and emaciated, suffering spinal fractures, a punctured lung, several broken ribs and a fractured jaw.

His weight was just 88 pounds, according to police.

Police yesterday charged Mervyn John Ferry, 41, and Paula Diane Morrison, 46, with a total of 27 offences, alleging the pair not only repeatedly assaulted their young boarder but also denied him medical treatment after bashing him with a baseball bat on Monday, August 9.

Police claimed that, instead of allowing him to see a doctor, Ferry and Morrison locked the man in a children's cubby house in the loungeroom of the home until the next day.

The young lodger reportedly moved in with the couple in February this year in a suburban Housing NSW home on the outskirts of Bathurst, NSW.

Police allege that his mobile phone was confiscated, he was detained against his will and was repeatedly assaulted.

He was also allegedly forced to perform all the cleaning duties, while being starved.

Police said the man had lost almost half his body weight in the six months he was detained at the house.

The young man was taken to Bathurst Police Station on August 10 suffering black eyes, a split lip and severe bruising.

He was then rushed to Bathurst Base Hospital, from where he was taken by helicopter to Westmead Hospital.

It was there an extensive number of new and old serious injuries and fractures that had been inflicted over a long period of time, in one case with an iron bar, were identified.

Neighbours were last night in shock, saying Ferry and Morrison had lived in the property for several years.

"It's very, very sad to see things like that happen here," one neighbour, who did not wish to be named, said.

Ferry and Morrison faced Bathurst Local Court yesterday afternoon in a 1 1/2 hour session during which they applied for bail.

That application was denied. No pleas were entered and they were remanded in custody to reappear on October 11.

Detectives attached to Strike Force Bukari arrested them about 9.15am yesterday.

Ferry was charged with 14 offences including five counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm, two counts of detain in company with intent to get advantage occasioning actual bodily harm and four counts of common assault.

Morrison was charged with 13 offences including four counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm, two counts of detaining in company with intent to get advantage occasioning actual bodily harm as well as six counts of common assault.

VIDEO: Dancing Skeleton Man

ty Les

JOKE: A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die in a plane crash

A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die in a plane crash and go up to Heaven's gates together.

When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who says: "Sorry, it's crowded up here, you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in."

He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?"

"Oh, that's easy," the teacher replies, "the Titanic"
So St. Peter lets her into Heaven.

Next he turns to the petty thief.
"How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asks.
"Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and I think it was 1,500."

St. Peter steps away and the thief walks into Heaven.

Finally, St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says: "Name them."

GOT CAPTION? 8/28

Saudi couple hammered 24 nails into Sri Lankan maid

A Saudi couple tortured their Sri Lankan maid by hammering 24 nails into her hands, legs and forehead, after she complained of a too heavy workload, officials said yesterday.

Nearly 2 million Sri Lankans sought employment overseas last year and around 1.4 million, mostly maids, were employed in the Middle East. Many have complained of physical abuse or harassment. LT Ariyawathi, a 49-year old mother of three, returned home on Friday after five months in Saudi Arabia.

Her family only realised what had happened to her when she complained of pain and they took her to see the doctor, Foreign Employment Bureau officials said.

"The landlord and the wife of the landlord hammered 24 nails into her when she complained of the heavy workload," Kalyana Priya Ramanayake, media secretary of the Foreign Employment Bureau, said.

Ariyawathi has been taken to hospital for surgery to remove the nails, which according to the maid were hammered in when they were hot.

X-rays showed one-to two-inch nails in her hands and legs, with one over her eyes, officials said. The Foreign Employment Bureau is consulting the attorney-general while the Sri Lankan External Affairs Ministry is to take the matter up with the Saudi government, officials said.

VIDEO: DOG SWIMS WITH DOLPHIN

Nightmarish Hospital Visit Capped by Beating, Accident Victim Says

A man who was hurt in a car crash but was misidentified as a cancer patient claims security guards at Prince George's Hospital beat him up when he tried to leave the hospital to avoid chest surgery he didn't need - "to have a potentially cancerous mass removed from his chest." He adds that one guard repeatedly called him "bitch" as he roughed him up.
Joseph Wheeler says a June 23 car accident put him in the hospital, which is owned by Dimensions Health Corporation. When he woke up hungry on June 24 and asked a nurse for food, she told him he couldn't eat because he was scheduled for surgery, Wheeler claims in Prince George's County Court.
Wheeler says the nurse checked his identification bracelet and told him the surgery was "to have a potentially cancerous mass removed from his chest."
Wheeler says his ID bracelet "contained a name that was different from Mr. Wheeler's, appeared to be that of a woman, and had a birth date that was 13 years prior to his own."
The complaint continues: "Mr. Wheeler, still in serious pain from the car accident and subsequent treatment from injuries sustained, was starting to fear for his safety as the hospital had misidentified him and he was being prepped to go into a surgery that he knew nothing about.
"At this point, Mr. Wheeler's wife, Felicia Ann Wheeler, came into the room to see her husband. Mr. Wheeler immediately told Mrs. Wheeler about what was taking place. The Wheelers decided that it was in their best interest to leave Prince George's Hospital Center and seek medical care for Mr. Wheeler elsewhere."
Mrs. Wheeler confirmed with nurses outside her husband's room that he was scheduled for cancer surgery, and when she told the nurses that she and her husband were leaving, "an argument ensued."
According to the increasingly bizarre complaint, Mr. Wheeler, "hearing the argument, took out his I/V, got out of the hospital bed, put his clothes on, and started to walk out of the room. He was bleeding from the spot on his hand where that I/V had been connected.
"Mrs. Wheeler and the nurse met Mr. Wheeler at the door. The nurse told Mr. Wheeler that he was not allowed to leave. She put a bandage on Mr. Wheeler's hand to stop the bleeding from the I/V spot, and then yelled for security.
"Mr. Wheeler, now bandaged and clothed, began to walk toward the exit of the floor while his wife gathered the rest of his belongings. As he moved toward the exit, two large men in security uniforms moved quickly toward Mr. Wheeler."
These men, defendants William Reese and Donovan Scott, worked for the hospital and/or defendant Broadway Services, according to the complaint. The Wheelers say the two security guards were "immediately hostile."
"Defendant Scott harshly asked, 'Where do you think you're going?' Mr. Wheeler told both Reese and Scott that his business was finished at the hospital and that he was on his way out," the complaint states.
"In the moments immediately following this exchange, defendant Scott began to appear angry and upset with Mr. Wheeler. He began to use profanity directed at Mr. Wheeler about getting back to Wheeler's 'damn room.'
"At this point the two officers put on black padded gloves in front of Mr. Wheeler and defendant Scott started to hit his fist against his own hand and moved closer in proximity to Wheeler's face. Defendant Scott appeared angry and agitated."
Wheeler, "in fear for his safety," tried to reason with the guards.
"He told the officers that he had been in a serious car accident and suffered from multiple injuries to the torso and shoulders. Wheeler also told the officers that he was retired from the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office and that he knew that the security officers had no right or authority to detain him. Wheeler stated that he wanted to leave."
At that point, Wheeler says, Scott grabbed him and shoved him "hard from behind into the adjacent wall and metal railing," hurting his ribs.
The complaint continues: "Mr. Wheeler, in serious pain and feeling like he was going to black out, fell to floor. Defendant Scott stood over him and yelled, 'Get off the floor bitch! This game is over!'
"Defendant Scott continued, 'I don't care who you think you are, this is my camp, you listen to what I got to say!' The vocal officer then grabbed Mr. Wheeler and pulled him up off of the ground as Wheeler pleaded with the officer to stop hurting him.
"At this point the defendant Reese said to the vocal officer, 'Man, ease up on him. He might really be hurt.' Defendant Scott replied, 'Hell no, he don't come up in here and be telling us what the fuck to do!'"
As the two guards "escorted" him back to his room, "Scott accused Wheeler of attempting to push the second officer down a flight of stairs," and "continued to shout expletives at Wheeler," according to the complaint.
Wheeler says the men took him to the hospital security office, where an unidentified lieutenant questioned him.
"After Mr. Wheeler explained what had happened, the lieutenant looked at Wheeler's hospital-provided identification bracelet and acknowledged that Wheeler had been misidentified," Wheeler says.
But that was not the end of the conflict. Wheeler says the lieutenant became agitated when he would not return the incorrect bracelet, and ordered the security guards to stop him from leaving.
He says a plainclothes hospital employee, a woman he identifies as an "administrator ... intervened in the conversation" and after he explained the situation, said she would make sure he "would have his own private room and any type of drug he wanted, just to name the pain killer."
Wheeler says he and his wife chose to leave the hospital, but when he tried to leave with the incorrect ID bracelet, one of the security guards "charged Wheeler, again calling Wheeler 'bitch,' and shoved him against the wall."
"Mr. Wheeler spent the next three days at St. Mary's Hospital and was diagnosed with four broken ribs, a sprained shoulder, a ruptured spleen, and a concussion," he says.

Rattlesnake Roundup

COOL SUPER SLOW-MOTION VIDEO

GOT CAPTION? 8/27

JOKE: Suzie Murphy and the Priest

As little Suzie Murphy walked up the church stairs, the priest happened to notice she wasn't wearing any panties. He stopped her, handed her $10 and told her to use it to "buy some panties, Miss Murphy. You shouldn't walk around without underwear."

Suzie went home, gave her mother the money, and asked, "Mom, would you buy me some underwear?"

"Where did you get ten dollars?" asked Mother Murphy. After Suzie related her story, Mrs. Murphy rushed upstairs, removed her panties, put on her shortest skirt, and headed for church.

She waited until she saw the priest and then climbed the stairs. The priest stopped her, gave her $5 and said, "Here, Mrs. Murphy. Buy yourself a razor!"

Panty Thief Exposed

A night raider is caught on CCTV as he steals women's underwear from a frightened family's washing line. Mother Leanne Burrell set up the camera after a spate of thefts - and nicked a knickernicker called Luke Wicker. The incriminating film showed the thief then stuffing the undergarments into his own pants before fleeing over the garden fence.

Mrs Burrell, 40, turned detective after bras, knickers and other clothing - including some belonging to her 13-year-old daughter - vanished from her line earlier this year. When police searched Wicker's home in Biggin Hill, Kent, England they found 65 items hidden behind his bed. They included 15 bras, 26 pairs of knickers and tights with the crotch areas cut out.

Wicker, 20, was given a four-month suspended sentence and 100 hours' community service by Bromley magistrates after admitting theft. He was also ordered to pay his victim �250 compensation and banned from contacting her or going to her home. Mrs Burrell said: "I was so scared I took the kids and went to stay at a friend's house. I didn't know if the person was playing some sexual game.

"The whole thing sickens me and it will stay with us, like each time I go to buy knickers." Magistrate Ken Robins said: "This disturbing offense caused significant distress." Wicker's lawyer Aisling Rowe said: "My client has moved away due to threats of violence."

Pervert Caught on Camera In Woman's Apartment

Mayor of Minnesota town was driving with open Vodka bottle

Mankato Mayor John Brady was driving with an open bottle of vodka and tested at three times more than the legal driving limit for alcohol, according to charges filed against him.

Brady, 61, was charged with fourth-degree driving while intoxicated, leaving the scene of an accident, failure to yield to an emergency vehicle and having an open container of alcohol. He was arrested Saturday by Golden Valley police on Interstate 394. Police said Brady's speech was so slurred that an arresting officer thought he was speaking a foreign language.

"We consider these kinds of charges very serious and very concerning," Golden Valley City Attorney Francis Rondoni said.

Brady, who has been mayor for four years and is running for reelection this fall, is scheduled for a first court appearance on Oct. 13. Each charge has a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail, $1,000 fine or both.

According to a complaint filed Tuesday, police received a call about a hit-and-run suspect in Golden Valley at about 1 p.m. Saturday. After locating Brady's car, an officer observed him crossing over and drifting between lanes. The officer said Brady didn't stop his vehicle when police emergency lights were on and then struck a vehicle while exiting I-394 to Hopkins Crossroad.

Before almost hitting another vehicle, Brady stopped, the complaint said. When he exited the vehicle, he used his door to brace himself. He told the officer that he had been drinking. Police asked him to perform field sobriety tests and he "was unable to complete them successfully,'' the complaint said.

When the officer asked Brady where he was from, the officer couldn't understand Brady "as his speech was so impaired and mumbled that it appeared he was speaking a foreign language," the complaint said.

Officers also found a small opened bottle of Smirnoff vodka in the driver's door of the car, the complaint said.

A preliminary breath test showed Brady had an alcohol concentration of 0.24, the complaint said. Results of a urine test are pending. If the result is above 0.20, the driving-while-intoxicated charge will be upgraded to a gross misdemeanor, Rondoni said.

Brady's attorney, Calvin Johnson, said Tuesday in a statement that the mayor "apologizes for the inconvenience that this may cause his professional responsibilities" and that "he requests your patience."

Man gets 30 days in jail for punching police horse in the face

SARATOGA SPRINGS NY -- A Cohoes man will serve 30 days in Saratoga County Jail for punching Jupiter, one of the city's police horses.

According to police, Jamison Johnson, 37, punched the horse in the face after Johnson was ejected from a Caroline Street bar.

Lt. Sean Briscoe said Tuesday that Johnson started swearing and yelling at the bar's staff and nearby police at 2:55 a.m. Aug. 15, then walked up to Jupiter and hit him in the face "with a closed fist," according to city court documents. The horse was not hurt. Johnson also hit a police officer, said his lawyer, Andrew Blumenberg, and suffered a black eye during a scuffle with police. Blumenberg said his client "doesn't feel good" about the incident. Johnson did not make a statement in court, Blumenberg said. Johnson pleaded guilty Aug. 17 to resisting arrest and pleaded guilty Tuesday to attempting to kill or injure a police animal, both misdemeanors.

He was sentenced to 30 days for both charges, and will serve the terms concurrently. He also was ordered to pay $200 in court surcharges. Two police horses, Jupiter and King Tut, patrol downtown and help with crowd control.

Mystery Surrounds Hex on $250,000 Ferrari 458

The $250,000 Ferrari 458 Italia launched to high acclaim in the spring and only a few hundred have been sold so far.

But since the cars went on sale, six have been involved in accidents, three have caught fire and one was destroyed when a warehouse went up in flames.

Four of the incidents happened in the last 10 days.

It is not thought that the 458 design has a fault, just that the owners have been unusually unlucky.

It's not uncommon for new exotic models to start off with a few crashes ... although the 458 does have a higher than normal crash count so far.

Greg Carlson, founder of Wrecked Exotics
The first crash took place in May in Poland when a young driver swerved to avoid a bus. Incidents have also been reported in Spain, the Czech Republic, France, Italy and the United States.

In the UK, one Ferrari 458 Italia, which has a top speed of 202mph, hit a barrier on a wet road in Marlow, Buckinghamshire.

Another, which had been customised with a Dolce and Gabbana interior, was damaged in a warehouse blaze after it was flown from Saudi Arabia to London Heathrow.

The Ferrari 458 Italia is not believed to have a fault

The spate of incidents was uncovered by website Wrecked Exotics, which logs accidents involving high-end cars including Lamborghinis, Porsches and Bugattis.

Website founder Greg Carlson said there had been more crashes involving the latest Ferrari than he expected.

"It's not uncommon for new exotic models to start off with a few crashes, owners are getting the feel for the new car, some are taking it beyond their skill level, although the 458 does have a higher than normal crash count so far," he said.

Ferrari has declined to comment but is understood to be investigating the fire-related incidents.

this lovely yellow one was damaged in a warehouse blaze after it was flown from Saudi Arabia to London Heathrow Airport and insurance will cover only a small portion of its value.

about the car:

The new direct-injection mid-rear mounted 4.5L V8 is seriously potent with 570 horsepower and 398 lb-ft of torque, of which, 80% is available at 3,250 rpm. This brilliant engine is mated with a 7-speed dual clutch gearbox sending power to the rear axle. Similar to the outgoing Ferrari F430, the new 458 Italia has an aluminum frame which provides a very low dry weight of only 3,042 pounds.

The Ferrari 458 Italia now has the distinction of being the first production model capable of breaking the 200 mph barrier with a top speed of 202 mph. And the sprint from 0 to 62 mph takes only 3.4 seconds.