JOKE: Dorothy and Zelda, two Jewish 'senior' widows are talking.

Dorothy:That nice Hymie Cohen has asked me out for a date.

I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.

Zelda: Well i'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7pm., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!

Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car.... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out to dinner...a marvelous dinner...lobster,champagne,dessert, and after dinner drinks.

Then we go to see a show.

Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL.

Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!!!

Dorothy:'Goodness gracious'... so are you telling me I shouldn't go out with him?

Zelda: 'no,no,no I'm just saying, wear an old dress!!

Three-year-old boy spent Christmas home alone with dead mother he thought was sleeping

A three-year-old boy is believed to have spent days over Christmas sitting alone by the dead body of his ‘sleeping’ mother in the hope that she might ‘wake up’. At one point, his grandfather telephoned but the young child calmly told him 'mummy’s asleep’. It is not known what the boy did for food and drink. The heartbreaking tale unfolded in the French town of Loison-sous-Lens, in the northern Pas de Calais region, where Emilie Decroix, 28, collapsed.
Work colleagues in the nearby town of Lens presumed the single mother was off ill and unable to call in. Instead an aneurysm, or weak bulge in an artery wall, had ruptured close to her brain, causing the office worker to die suddenly. ‘Emilie lived alone with her little boy who clearly believed she was sleeping and might wake up,’ said a police source. ‘Before the ruptured aneurysm, she would have had all the appearances of a young, fit woman – the child could clearly not envisage that she might be dead.
‘Emilie had not contacted anyone since before Christmas, suggesting that she may have died before this time. Her father spoke to her son over the phone and was simply told that she was asleep.' Emilie had lived in the house for more than a year, but was a ‘quiet and hard-working’ woman who did not socialise much. Neighbours were used to seeing her leaving the house in the early morning and dropping her son off at a local nursery, and most assumed she had gone away for the holidays.
The child’s grandfather finally called round to the house on New Year’s Eve, where he found her dead body, with his grandson sitting quietly next to her. The source added: ‘The cause of death was quickly established, but the exact time of death is not yet known. Nobody knows exactly when Emilie died, but it is likely to have been before Christmas.’ A local police spokesman said the child, who had not been named for legal reasons, was currently in the care of his grandparents and was undergoing counselling.

Florida thief steals van -- along with body of 98-year-old dead woman

Matilda Kazimir

FORT PIERCE -- A van thief in Fort Pierce may have gotten more than he bargained for over the weekend. What he may not have known is that he wasn't alone in the stolen vehicle.

Around 2 a.m. Sunday, a van from Tri-Country Mortuary went to pick up the body of Matilda Kazimir. As the van's owner was pulling away, he realized that he left his cell phone behind. The van was left running with Kazimir inside. That's when someone else jumped in and took off.

"I think what this started out as was a crime of opportunity," said Fort Pierce Sgt. Dennis McWilliams.

Matilda Kazimir lived the last year of her life at Fort Pierce Health Care on South 13th Street. She passed away over the weekend at the age of 98.

"She was a good woman, a good mother. We appreciated her," said son John Kazimir.

He was awakened in the middle of the night by a knock on the door. It was a Fort Pierce police sergeant.

"He says to me, 'Do you got a few minutes, I have some bad news for you.' He was the one who told me the vehicle disappeared," said Kazimir.

The van was found abandoned a short time later a few miles away on Stanton Avenue. Kazimir's body was undisturbed. Since the van was just plain white with no special markings, the thief may never have known he wasn't alone.

"Usually what happens is a body would have been placed in a body bag or receptacle and then a cover placed over that," said McWilliams said.

Kazimir said his relatives have no hard feelings against those involved, they're just relieved their mother's body was found.

"Anything could have happened. They could have driven the car into a canal somewhere or disposed of the body. Then we really would have been in bad shape," said son Nick Kazimir.

Services for Kazimir will be held in Fort Pierce, but she'll laid to rest next to her husband at the family's burial plot in New Jersey.

VIDEO: the Zebra is a Bully

UPDATE: Golden Voice Homeless Man Offered Job and House

The homeless man with the "golden radio voice" wanted a second chance -- and did he ever get it.

As soon as Ted Williams, a panhandler who became an online hit after video of him begging on an Ohio roadside was posted to the Internet, appeared on a local radio show this morning the offers began pouring in -- including a dream job with the Cleveland Cavaliers and a free house.

"The Cleveland Cavaliers just offered me a full-time job and a house! A house! A house!," repeated a stunned Williams, 71, on local radio station WNCI.

A caller to the show who said she represented the Cavs offered Williams, who shot to stardom after local newspaper the Columbus Dispatch on Monday posted video of his perfectly-pitched panhandling, a full-time job doing voiceover work for the team and parent company and a free home in Cleveland.

The Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, native trained to be a radio announcer before drugs and alcohol ruined his chances at a career, and he was reduced to begging on the side of a road in Columbus, Ohio, before the newspaper found him.

Local police would refer to Williams as "Radio man," when chasing him from his usual begging spots, Williams said.

"I've been out there about a year; I just didn't know anything like this would ever happen," an overwhelmed Williams said earlier in the show. "There's so many words. I've already been characterized to [Scottish singing sensation] Susan Boyle ... I'm just so happy."

Before the Cavs made their bid, the station said a group of credit unions offered Williams a contract worth up to $10,000; a caller claiming to rep MTV expressed interest in having him guest-announce a show; and callers who said they were the voiceover actors behind plugs for "The Simpsons" and "Entertainment Tonight" said they wanted him to compete on their upcoming "America's Next Voice" -- where the prize includes a home studio.

For a man suddenly thrust from an Ohio roadside into the hearts of the world, Williams set his sights low.

"Just to get back to some normalcy and responsibility -- If I can get a job, whether it's a twenty-five or even $18,000, I'd be happy," he said. "At least I know God has me where he wants me."

VIDEO: Cat vs. Washing Machine

JOKE: the Cow from Minsk

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles. Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.

The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask their wise rabbi, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening. "Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.

When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side."

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?"

The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi," they said.

"How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?"

"My wife is from Minsk," the Rabbi said.

Golden-Voiced Homeless Man Captivates Internet

Who is this homeless man along Ohio's I-71 with a cardboard sign claiming to have "the God-given gift of voice." His name is Ted Williams, and he's an ex-radio announcer according to the note he scrawled on a piece of cardboard that he uses to solicit change from drivers. And wow, does Williams ever deliver for a dollar. Williams tells the Dispatch about his struggles, but thankfully "alcohol and drugs and a few other things" haven't diminished Williams' velvety vocal cords, and he says he's two years clean now.

"I have a god given gift of voice. I'm an ex-radio announcer who has fallen on hard times. Please! Any help will be greatfully appreciated. Thank you and God bless. Happy holidays," says Williams' roadside sign for help.

Monster Cat-Killer Fox Caught in England

Weighing almost two stone(28 lbs.) and measuring four feet from his nose to the tip of his tail, this is thought to be the biggest fox ever found in Britain.

Twice the normal size of the species, it was trapped and killed in a garden in the South East after apparently devouring a pet cat.

The discovery has fuelled fears that urban foxes are hunting new prey after getting bigger and bolder as they gorge themselves on leftovers, including treats put out for them by animal lovers.

Monster: To give a sense of scale, seven-year-old Archie Wright stands next to a 26lb fox shot in Maidstone, Kent

The animals’ rise was highlighted last year after twin babies were mauled in their east London home. 

Nine-month-old Lola and Isabella Koupparis were left scratched and scarred after a fox jumped into their cot in the night, leading to calls for the animals to be culled as pests.

The new giant was caught by vet Keith Talbot at his parents’ home in Maidstone, Kent, on Boxing Day after they told him they believed a fox had killed their black and white pet cat, Amber. 

He said today: ‘Obviously, they were very upset. Amber was 19 and liked sleeping on the front door mat.

‘Dad had seen a fox come down the drive and stalk up to her a few nights before. He phoned me and said would a fox attack the cat? I said - perhaps a bit naively - I don’t think so, she would wake up and see it off.

‘A couple of days later, dad heard a commotion outside and looked up to see a fox disappearing up the drive and the next morning found parts of the cat on the lawn. Unfortunately, the family pet was no more.’

Stark contrast: Foxshooter Roy Lupton displays a normal fox beside the 26lb monster shot by Keith Talbot to show the difference in size

Mr Talbot, 28, who works in Scotland, went to stay with his parents for Christmas and put down a trap to try to catch the offender. On the first night, he caught a 14lb fox and the next night the giant specimen, which weighed 26.5lb. Both were humanely destroyed.

The Handbook of British Mammals says the average fox weighs up to 15lb, with reports of up to 22lb.

Mr Talbot said: ‘I’ve seen cats and foxes in the garden before and they normally give each other a wide berth.

‘Cats can usually defend themselves and are not on the menu for a fox. But when a fox gets that size, and particularly in bad weather, it appears it may become desperate and go for a cat.’

He was surprised at the size of the fox, but it was only when he showed it to his friend Roy Lupton, a veteran fox shooter who weighed it, that he realised he could have just caught the country’s largest fox.

Mr Talbot said: ‘I’m not against foxes, I think everything in nature has a place.

'But there is a limit and when something like that happens and they start eating cats, it probably tells you that the balance of nature has been upset by humans feeding them and that it’s time for controls to come in.’

VIDEO: Grizzly Bear Cub Vs. Bucket

Pa. Widow Builds Vault, Could Get Corpses Back

WYALUSING, Pa. -- It looks like Jean Stevens will be reunited with the two people she loved so much that she wanted them to keep her company after they died.

The 91-year-old widow who lived with the embalmed corpses of her husband and twin sister -- until authorities found out and took them away -- is hopeful they'll be returned soon.

Jean Stevens, 91, seen here in June, holds a photograph from the 1940s of herself and her late husband, James. Stevens is building a vault on her property to keep the embalmed corpose of her husband close by.

Workmen at Stevens' rural property outside the northern Pennsylvania town of Wyalusing have been busy the past few months, erecting a gabled building with gray siding and a white door. It resembles an oversized shed, or a smaller version of Stevens' detached garage.

In reality, it's a mausoleum that Stevens intends as the final resting place of her husband of nearly 60 years, James Stevens, and her twin, June Stevens. And authorities have told her it's the only way she can get them back.

Jean Stevens' house as it is seen on Dec. 20, from a mausoleum on her property.

She can't wait.

"I think about them all the time," Stevens told The Associated Press a few days before Christmas, "and I always will."

The coroner, she said, "has them up there in the cold box, which makes me shiver. He says, 'They're all right, Jean, you don't have to worry about them.'"

Stevens had their bodies dug up shortly after they died -- James in 1999, June in 2009 -- because she couldn't bear not being able to see them again. She kept her husband on a couch in the garage, and her sister in a spare room off the bedroom, where "I could touch her and look at her and talk to her," Stevens told AP last summer.

"Death is very hard for me to take," she added then.

Stevens' tale touched a chord. She estimates she received about 70 letters from around the world, most of them expressing well-wishes and sympathy. She's written back to some. One of her new pen pals mailed a Christmas package with fruitcake, mints and a holiday tin stuffed with Chex mix. "Dearest Jean," wrote her correspondent, "you've sent us a Christmas treasure, your letter!"

Stevens also knows that some people think she's strange. She laughs heartily as she leafs through a pair of supermarket tabloids that had blared her story. She says Jay Leno once cracked a joke about her.

But it's Stevens who may get the last laugh.

Bradford County authorities, who have been storing the bodies in the morgue since they took them away in June, have told Stevens she can have them back if she builds an aboveground vault.

Coroner Tom Carman said he plans to release them once it's completed.

"I want to get Jimmy and June back here just as soon as I possibly can," he said.

Carman has struck up an unusual friendship with Stevens. He's spent hours listening to her talk, mainly about the past. "She's a wonderful lady," he said.

Stevens plans to place her husband and sister in body bags with clear panels, so she can see their faces.

The mausoleum is large enough to hold as many as eight bodies. Stevens said she'd like to transfer the remains of several loved ones to the crypt, including those of her long-deceased mother and father.

One of the spots will be reserved.

"She means to be placed there, as well," Carman said. "She's made that very clear."

VIDEO: Hummingbird Feeder Masks? Yep..got $79.95?

http://heatstick.com/store/

Minn. Man Clocked @ 86 MPH on Closed, Snow Covered Interstate

Patrolling a section of Interstate 94 that had been closed because of treacherous road conditions, a Minnesota State trooper was stunned Sunday to see a car hurtling down the snow-covered highway east of Fargo.

Clocked at 86 miles per hour on a day when cars were still sliding into ditches across northwestern Minnesota, Dimitri Kilin said he was just trying to catch an airline flight out of the Twin Cities.

"How he didn't roll or put his car off into the ditch I don't understand it," said Minnesota State Patrol Sgt. Jesse Grabow. Kilin didn't pose a danger to any other driver on the deserted highway, but Grabow pointed out that snowplows were out. "Those guys are under the assumption that they have the entire freeway closed to do their work and get these routes open up and then some guy comes smoking along like that."

The 100-mile stretch between the Fargo-Moorhead area and Alexandria is shut down a couple of times each winter because of poor road conditions, Grabow said. Electronic crossing guards, barricades and sometimes just a big pile of snow are used to block the entrance ramps during the closure. During the past four days, the troopers stopped at least 13 people who drove on I-94 despite the barricades.

It was a big mound of snow that first prevented Kilin from entering the interstate in Moorhead, he said. But he said he drove through Fargo, got onto Interstate 29 and then found his way onto Interstate 94. "I did not know the road was closed," he said in a telephone interview on Monday.

He's pretty sure he saw other cars on the road. But he and his wife were in a hurry to catch their flight to Albuquerque for a wedding. He already had lost time by waking up late.

Once he got on I-94, he said the road conditions seemed fine to him. "It wasn't perfect like it is in the summer," said Kilin, 36, of Fargo. "I was in full control of the car."

But Grabow has some stats that show just how bad the road conditions have been in northwestern Minnesota. Between the start of the storm on Thursday until Monday morning, the State Patrol reports 621 vehicles slid off the road, 67 vehicles crashed, including 32 rollovers, and two semi-trailers jackknifed. Eleven people suffered minor injuries.

"Driving conditions were the worse I've seen in a long time," Grabow said.

Kilin was cited for speeding and faces a minimum fine of $125.

Even a hefty fine might be a bargain, Kilin said. New plane tickets would have set him back more if he and his wife missed their flight, he said.

VIDEO: Dog Steals Sled For Himself

VIDEO: Tiger vs. Attack Rabbit..

Columbia University Professor Charged with Incest with His Daughter

Political science professor David Epstein, 46, was charged Thursday with having a sexual relationship with his daughter, 24.

He was arrested Wednesday morning and charged with one count of incest in the third degree at an arraignment hearing on Thursday. According to police, the relationship appears to have been consensual.

Epstein declined to comment when reached on his cell phone Thursday evening.

His wife, Sharyn O’Halloran, chair of the executive committee of the University Senate and a tenured professor, also declined to comment when reached by phone.

According to a University spokesman, Epstein is now on administrative leave and is no longer teaching students.

His defense attorney, Matthew Galluzzo, said the public should remember that Epstein has not yet been convicted.

“David is a respected member of the Columbia University and national academic communities, and we think he deserves privacy and respect while the investigators are investigating. We are asking people to remember that these allegations are nothing more than allegations,” he said.

Galluzzo said Epstein is no longer in custody and a trial date has not yet been set.

“We’re asking his friends in the Columbia community to support him and give him the benefit of the doubt,” he said.

An update on Epstein’s Facebook account says he is no longer listed as married.

Epstein and O’Halloran have co-authored numerous publications on American politics since meeting as postdoctoral students at Stanford University in the 1980s.

Epstein is currently teaching a lecture class called “Scope and Methods,” as well as a class titled “Research Topics and Game Theory.”

Raahi Sheth, CC ’11, an economics and political science major—who had an Epstein as a major adviser—said he was surprised to hear of the allegations, since Epstein has always been helpful.

“He’d always been fairly jovial,” he said. “He seemed to be a very nice guy.”

Couple's late son was secret sperm donor for lesbian aunt's partner

A 15-year old boy secretly donated sperm to his aunt's lesbian partner so they could have children, his parents have discovered. Charlie Lowden's parents Charles and Lynn are now coming to terms with the fact that the two children they considered to be their nephew and niece are actually their biological grandchildren. They only discovered the family secret last December after Charlie, 20, died following a routine hernia operation. After his death it emerged that several years previously he offered to donate sperm - unofficially - to his aunt Sarah Ashman, now 40, who is his mother's younger sister, and her partner Claire, now 30. 

He knew they had wanted to have a baby, but Claire had suffered a miscarriage after becoming pregnant by another donor. Claire Ashman, a beautician from Choppington in Northumberland,England subsequently gave birth to a boy, Carlton, now five. Three years later they asked him to donate again, which he did, resulting in Sarah, who is now two. The lesbian couple agreed to keep Charlie's true identity as the father under wraps. However, his death forced his aunt to confess the situation to her sister. 

Mrs Lowden, 52, said: "When our Charles died we were broken hearted. We thought we had nothing left of him. But there is. I just wish that we had known about all of this before he died so that Charlie could know we had accepted it." She continued: "When Charlie died, Sarah said I had no idea how special he had been to her – but now I do." Despite Carlton being "the spitting double" of his father, Mrs Lowden said she remained "quite oblivious" to the truth. Even though Charlie used to grab the boy, hold him up to the mirror and laugh, "Who’s the daddy? I’m the daddy", Mrs Lowden still did not realise what he was saying. 

The couple had wanted to call the boy Charles, but he refused, so they chose Carlton as a cipher name instead. Sarah Ashman, who entered a civil partnership with Claire last year after 13 years together, said: "Charles was very special to me. He was great. When he died, it was our secret. But I had to tell Lynn. I couldn’t go through life not telling her because they are her grandchildren." Mrs Lowden described knowing Carlton was her grandson as "just like having our Charlie back. We’ve got the next best thing to him and it’s not a secret anymore," she said. "I’m absolutely delighted. He did it for a reason and he has left a legacy."

VIDEO: Base jumper escapes police by hurling himself off California’s Bixby Bridge

Steve Jester  is filmed walking along the Bixby Bridge on California Highway One, 120 miles south of San Francisco, before dangling his parachute off the edge of the 85-metre(260 ft.) high structure.

A police patrol car arrives with an officer calmly walking over to the 46-year-old who is now standing on top of the bridge barrier.

The police officer politely and calmly asks the Jester, who appears to be under the influence of some sort of mind-altering substance, to get off the barrier but he resists and jumps.

As he leaps from the bridge, the Jester performs an acrobatic mid-air flip before gliding towards the beach and making a textbook landing.

The amazing clip has been viewed more than 160,000 times since it was uploaded to Youtube on December 13.

One viewer, going by the name bialicki, said: “Dude is totally awesome, and crazy! but as we all know it; takes crazy for people like us to do stuff like that!”

Jester was later charged with resisting a police officer, driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol, trespassing and possession of marijuana while driving.

JOKE: Matzoh Ball Soup

Israeli leader Ehud Olmert comes to Washington for meetings with George W. For the State Dinner, Laura Bush decides to bring in a special Kosher Chef and have a truly Jewish meal prepared in honor of their guest. 

At the dinner that night, the first course is served and it is Matzoh Ball Soup. George W. looks at this and, after learning what it is called, he tells an aide that he can’t eat such a gross and strange-looking brew. 

The aide says that Mr. Olmert will be insulted if he doesn’t at least taste it. Not wanting to cause any trouble (after all he ate a sheep’s eye in honor of his Arab guests), George W. gingerly lowers his spoon into the bowl and retrieves a piece of matzoh ball and some broth. He hesitates, swallows, and a grin appears on his face. He finds he really likes it, digs right in, and finishes the whole bowl. 

“That was delicious,” George W. says to Olmert. “Do the Jews eat any other part of the matzoh, or just the balls?”

JOKE: the Zebra's Question

A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.'

So the zebra went off in search of God.

When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

God simply replied 'You are what you are.'

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?'

The zebra looked puzzled.. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.''

St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes..'

The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?'

'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is..'

WARNING: If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Rev Wright and Obama will be comin after yo white ass!!!

VIDEO: Man Versus Machine at Bowling Alley

VIDEO: YOU DID WHAT?

Suicide jumper saved by pile of trash bags

The snowstorm that mangled New York saved the life of one Manhattan man.

A troubled Hell's Kitchen resident jumped from his ninth-floor apartment window yesterday -- but survived because he landed atop a mountain of trash bags that had been piling up since the Dec. 26 blizzard, cops said.

"Maybe it was lucky we had this snow and they hadn't cleared the garbage," said Katharina Capatos, the aunt of the victim, Vangelis "Angelo" Kapatos.

It was about the only good news from a torturous postblizzard week marked by a lackluster response to the storm, which included a catastrophic breakdown of snow-plowing that kept ambulances from getting patients to hospitals.

Kapatos, 26, of 325 W. 45th St., jumped just after noon, landing on his back on garbage bags heaped high outside the 10-story building, authorities said.

He left no note and no one was home when he fell.

Kapatos was taken to Bellevue Hospital in critical condition, and was in surgery hours later.

His aunt, who spells her last name differently, said he'd been released from Bellevue's psych ward last Wednesday after spending about a month there following a nervous breakdown.

"I think he's lonely. I think he has manic depression," Capatos said.

She also said a dispute with his landlord -- who she said wants to evict him from the $572-a-month, rent-stabilized unit that technically belongs to his parents -- had been weighing on her nephew.

His next eviction hearing in Housing Court had been set for tomorrow.

"I want to live, but what is going to happen to me?" Capatos, 64, recalled him asking her recently.

Kapatos' lawyer, Charles Small, received a frantic voicemail and e-mail from him Friday asking him to "reassure me that everything will be well."

"I told him that there's nothing to worry about, that his landlord has no case," Small said he responded by e-mail.

But "I have no idea" if he got the message, Small said.

Neighbors described Kapatos, who moved from Greece with his family when he was 3, as quiet and withdrawn.

"He kept to himself . . . always had his headphones on," said one building resident who asked not to be identified.

Kapatos' miraculous survival was the silver lining in a storm cloud of bad news stemming from the blizzard.

VIDEO: Penguin takes a shortcut

Drunk ship captain dies in pond fall

A Brittish ship's captain who was jailed for ploughing his 680-ton dredger into a historic pier when drunk has died after falling into a pond.

The body of Andrew Bartlett, 44, was found on a path by dog walkers. Some of his belongings were still in the water nearby. Police think he pulled himself out but then collapsed. It is believed Mr Bartlett had visited several pubs earlier in the night.

A neighbor, in Portsmouth, Hants, said: "His death is so sad, our hearts go out to his family - especially his two children. He was a good man and never had an unkind word for anyone."

Mr Bartlett caused $450,000 of damage to the 124-year-old Hythe Pier near Southampton docks when he went to sea after downing six pints in 2003. A judge sentenced him to eight months' jail.

VIDEO: **Watch This**...Rocket Engine Designer..Area 51..Lots Here

Space technology transfer consultant and former rocket whiz kid David Adair speaks out for the first time on camera in this interview about his remarkable encounters with an alien engine, DOD agents, and Air Force General Curtis Lemay in 1971 at Groom Lake, Nevada (Area-51). Hear first hand testimony about advanced alien technology and our military's most closely guarded secrets surrounding the UFO phenomena.
Adair explains how at age 17 he built an electro-magnetic containment plasma fusion rocket engine and was invited by Air Force bigwigs to launch it at White Sands Missal Range. That led to his being taken to Area 51 where he saw an engine that was light years beyond anything on Earth - so sophisticated it responded to the thoughts and emotions of it's pilots.
Now, comfortable with the way UFO information is starting to be accepted by the American public, Adair has decided to reveal the amazing truth which he held to himself for over 25 years.
Also revealed are his meetings with renowned physicist Stephan Hawkings.

Florida Man Running To Catch Bus, Run Over and Killed By Bus

ORLANDO, Fla. -- A 38-year-old Orlando man who fell down while running to catch a Lynx bus was killed late Thursday night when he was struck by the vehicle, the Florida Highway Patrol said.

Alin Matos-Dotel was killed in the crash, which occurred about 10:15 p.m. at West Oakridge Road and Texas Avenue in Orange County.

According to the FHP, the Lynx bus was stopped near the shoulder of West Oakridge Road, just east of the intersection of Texas Avenue, at a bus stop and began to drive off. A witness who had just exited the bus said a man was running to catch the bus but slipped and fell, according to the FHP.

The right rear of the Lynx bus struck the man, later identified as Matos-Dotel, who was taken to Orlando Regional Medical Center and pronounced dead, troopers said.

The crash remains under investigation, but charges are not expected, the FHP report said.

VIDEO: DUNNO WHAT TO CALL THIS..SURE IS FUNNY THOUGH

Man says he committed burglaries to pay lawyer defending him on previous burglary charges

A Texas man who police said has been in and out of jail several times since September is back in jail again, accused of committing half a dozen home burglaries. The arrest affidavits detail two of the cases against Michael Elias, 28, one of which dates back to June of this year. Both happened on the northwest side of San Antonio.

The report shows Elias is a suspect in a June 18 break-in at a home in the 300 block of Cherry Ridge. The resident told police someone had ransacked his home, taking two laptop computers, two video game systems, jewellery and other items.

On Nov. 8, another resident reported a burglary in the 11500 block of Huebner Road in which a 50-inch plasma TV was stolen. Police said they recovered fingerprints from both locations that later proved to be Elias's.

The affidavit shows that after his arrest, Elias told investigators how he had learned to commit burglaries using a crow bar to gain access to homes. Elias also told investigators he had to keep committing the burglaries so he could afford to pay his attorney a $150 weekly fee to keep him out of jail.

VIDEO: Robber used giant stick in store 'stick up'

Police in Virginia are searching for a man who held up a convenience store with an unusual weapon - a very large stick.

Surveillance video shows the suspect bursting into the store in Manassas just after 6:30 a.m. on Tuesday and threatening the clerk with the giant stick.

The clerk grabbed a hammer, sparking a 2-minute standoff of sorts. The suspect eventually won the fight and got away with an undisclosed amount of cash.

The clerk was knocked down and struck several times in the face. His injuries were said to be minor.

VIDEO: Woman pleads not guilty to ramming police car,felony assault

A San Francisco woman faces a felony assault charge after allegedly trying to hit a Burlingame police officer with her Chevrolet Camaro and then ramming his police cruiser several times. Tina Puccini-Perez, 52, is accused of backing her car towards the officer, nearly hitting him, after a short chase in Burlingame, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe.

She eventually gave up peacefully, but not before pulling forward and backing her car into the officer's vehicle five times. Puccini-Perez pleaded not guilty to the charge in San Mateo County Superior Court. The officer wasn't hurt and authorities haven't said what sparked the confrontation.

The officer first spotted Puccini-Perez driving near Drake Avenue and Adeline Drive, where he had gone after several people reported a Camaro racing through the neighborhood, said Burlingame police Capt. Mike Matteucci. As the officer drove closer, the Camaro's driver sped away and blew through a stop sign in the process. The cop put on his lights and siren, but instead of stopping the car blasted through another stop sign. A short distance later the car attempted to make a left turn onto El Camino Real and spun out, said Matteucci.

As the officer approached the Camaro on foot with his gun drawn, Puccini-Perez looked at him and abruptly began backing up. The car narrowly missed hitting the officer and then slammed into his car five times. An officer who came to help reported that the tires of the Camaro, which were spinning at high speed as the car's engine revved, were producing so much smoke he could barely see the scene. Puccini-Perez was held at the San Mateo County jail in lieu of $50,000 bail.

VIDEO: Dog enjoys watching polar bears on TV

VIDEO: Robin's Big Date

VIDEO: High Speed Motorcycle Run Through Moscow Traffic

A motorcyclist high-speed 25-mile ride through Moscow traffic. There are a lot of these videos to be found on YouTube. And it seems that some people find this exciting and amazing. I find it unbelievably dangerous and stupid.

JOKE: Three Knots

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age. The old sailor asks, "How am I doing?"

The prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back."

Attempted Purse Snatching Victim 'Bumps' Into Attacker At Hospital ER

CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. - A botched purse snatching started a bizarre chain of events in Clarksville on Wednesday evening. Police said the would-be victim fought off her attacker, then ran into him just hours later at the hospital.

Police arrested 27-year-old Coyama Locklear on Thursday morning and charged him with criminal attempt to commit robbery.

What Amanda Pyle and her purse went through on Wednesday evening proved that both are pretty strong.

"All it has are a few minor tears. I'd recommend this purse to anyone," laughed Pyle.

The attempted purse snatching happened at a Clarksville Kroger.

"As I was walking out, someone followed me in the parking lot and attacked me from behind," said Pyle. "I bent my arm, he pulled on his end, and I pulled on mine."

"The thing is he's six foot, six foot two and over 200 pounds and she's five foot six so there was a significant size difference," said Clarksville Police officer Jim Knoll.

"My reaction was, this is my purse. I work hard for my money and I'm not giving up like this," said Pyle.

The suspect fled when other customers heard the commotion and approached the scene. Shortly after, Amanda drove herself to Gateway Medical Center because her knee was sore. Apparently, she wasn't the only one hurt in the scuffle.

Amanda recognized the man who'd tried to rob her earlier in the day inside the ER.

"As he got closer my heart stopped I knew without a doubt in my mind, that's him," recalled Pyle.

Detectives say Coyama Locklear was walking out of the hospital just as Pyle was checking in. Locklear had his arm in a sling.

"He said his shoulder got injured some way. He indicated it was some sort of basketball injury," said Knoll.

Amanda called the authorities, who were eventually able to track Locklear down and arrest him. Of course, our heroine's bravery in this story was matched by our suspect's faintheartedness- Locklear was found hiding in his closet at a home in Clarksville.

"I think its a work of God, the chances of it all happening all that way are slim to none," said Pyle.

Perhaps the lesson here is it's good to have a strong purse and a good head on your shoulders.

"I think its important to look around and notice things, and brace yourself for the worst just in case," said Pyle.

Pyle was able to give police a detailed description of Locklear, and even his getaway car, a gold Lexus.

Authorities are still hoping witnesses to the attack will contact police to tell detectives what they saw last night to help strengthen the case.

Last year, police arrested Locklear for a string of home burglaries and break-ins.

Believe it or not, in one case, an unsuspecting victim found Locklear hiding in the closet.

Locklear was held on $50,000 bond.