Thursday, May 31, 2012

JOKE: A DOCTOR WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR

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If you tell the doctor you want a second opinion, he will go out and come in again.

He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.

Another time he gave a patient 6 months to live. At the end of he 6 months, the patient hadn't paid his bill, so the doctor gave him another 6 months.

One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem." The doctor asked, "When did it start?" The man replied, "When did what start?"

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: "Don't answer it."

My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell." The doctor gave him some pills and said, "Here, take these, and if they don't work, give me a ring."

Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, "Go sit over there. I'll deal with you later."

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.

But doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment. Then he says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."
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VIDEO: Tightest Parallel Parking Record Broken

Of all the Guinness World Records, tightest parallel parking title is one of the most contested. The record was just broken almost a year ago by German driver Ronny Wechselberger who slid into a spot only 26 centimeters longer than his car.

Amazingly, the record continues to get smaller and smaller, and has been smashed again by Chinese driver Han Yue who drifted into a parking space just 15 cm (6 inches) longer than his car.

VIDEO: Honor Student At Texas High School, Jailed For Missing School


Diane Tran, a 17-year-old honor student in Texas, was forced to spend the night in jail last week after missing too many classes, KHOU-11's Sherry Williams reports.

The Willis High School junior, who helps support two siblings, has both a full time and part-time job. She said that she's often too tired to go to school.

"She goes from job to job from school," Devin Hill, one of Tran's classmates, told KHOU-11. "She stays up until 7:00 in the morning doing her homework."

In an interview with KHOU-11, Tran said she takes AP(advanced placement) Spanish, college level algebra and dual credit English and history courses. Her parents divorced and no longer live near her, so she lives with the family that owns the wedding venue where she works on weekends.

According to Texas law, if a student has ten or more unexcused absences within a six-month period, the school district may refer the student to a juvenile court. "In such cases, resolution of the issue is entirely in the hands of the court," reads a statement on the website of the Willis Independent School District.

After being warned by a judge in April about missing too much school, Tran was arrested in court on Wednesday and required to spend the night in jail, according to the above video from KHOU-11. She has also been fined $100.

Tran's case has spread online, with dozens of news outlets across the country picking up her story. HelpDianeTran.com, a site set up by the Louisiana Children's Education Alliance in partnership with Anedot and Gatorworks, has raised over $28,000.

A petition at Change.org that calls for the judge to revoke the teen's fine and sentencing was approaching 26,000 signatures on Monday afternoon.

"This remarkable young woman doesn't deserve jail," wrote a Change.org commenter going by Letitia Gutierrez. "She deserves a medal."

Williams, the KHOU-11 reporter, visited the judge who sent Tran to jail. Watch the video above to hear the judge's reasoning behind the punishment.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

JOKE: LOVE IN THE 21ST CENTURY

Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date were naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart.

"I suppose you're going to tell me now that you're waiting for 'Mr. Right'," he said dejectedly.

"That's a silly old romantic notion," laughed the coed. "I'm just waiting for Mr. Big."

PHOTO: Kids and Dogs are the Best

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VIDEO: Spider Cat Walks Down the Fridge

VIDEO: Baby Trying to Catch Cat's Tail

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

VIDEO: Pianists in Paris | cdza Cool Schtuff

VIDEO: Rub Some Bacon On it Music Video

JOKE: I Said Everyone

Back in the days of the Wild West, a bandit ambushed a stagecoach. The bandit yelled, "Everyone out!"

Little Johnny asked the bandit, "My poor old ancient grandmother, too?"

The bandit replied, "I said everyone!" After everyone was standing outside the stagecoach, he yelled, "Everyone hand over all your money and jewelry!"

Little Johnny asked, "My poor old ancient grandmother, too?" The bandit replied, "I said everyone!" So they did. Then the bandit yelled, "Everyone take off all your clothes!"

Again Little Johnny piped up, "My poor old ancient grandmother, too?" The bandit replied, "I said everyone!" When everyone was undressed, the bandit yelled, "Now everyone of you womenfolk climb inside the stagecoach so I can have sex with you!"

Before Little Jimmy could speak, his old ancient grandmother looked him straight in the eye and said, "He said everyone!"
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Cannibal's Face-Eating Attack Possibly Prompted by 'Bath Salts'

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Rudy Eugene



Miami police suspect that what caused a 31-year-old man to rip off his clothes and viciously gnaw on the face of another man in a daylight attack on a busy highway is a new and extremely dangerous street drug known as "bath salts."

A Miami police officer shot Rudy Eugene Saturday after repeated pleas for him stop eating another man's face. His demands were met with only growls. Eugene continued, and it took four bullets to kill and finally stop him as witnesses watched in horror.

According to police little remained of the victim's face, with 75 percent of it eaten away rendering him almost unrecognizable. One source says all that remained was blood and the victim's goatee.

Police have not officially connected Eugene's behavior to "bath salts," but experts say he was exhibiting the classic signs of someone high on the drug.

Armando Aguilar, president of the Miami Fraternal Order of police, who has been in contact with the officer who killed Eugene, says the similarities between this and other recent cases involving "bath salts" are striking.

"The cases are similar minus a man eating another. People taking off their clothes. People suddenly have super human strength," says Aguilar. "They become violent and they are burning up for the inside. Their organs are reaching a level that most would die. By the time police approach them they are a walking dead person."

According to WPLG, the victim was a 65 year-old, apparently homeless man who was living near the causeway where the attack occurred.

Eugene, who was believed to be homeless, left few clues behind as to what led to the attack. Court records show that although he was arrested several times, they were for minor offenses. His ex-wife described him as having violent tendencies, but is shocked by the attack.

As investigators pour over surveillance video and continue soliciting the public's help in solving this case, many are looking to "bath salts" as the potential trigger of this vicious attack.

According to Aguilar one of the recent cases in Miami involving "bath salts," which is becoming increasingly popular in the party scene, involved someone trying to bite another, but police were able to get there in time. Most have involved individuals behaving incredibly irrationally and nearly impossible to control.

"There was another incident after the popular Ultra Festival where a guy was walking around naked, and was hit by a taxi. He jumped on top of the taxi, beat the people inside. It took 15 officers to stop him, and as he was being tasered, he was begging them to shoot and kill him," says Aguilar. "But because we had that many officers we were able to subdue him and take him to the hospital where they basically froze him."


Dr. Paul Adams, an emergency physician at the Jackson Memorial Rider Trauma Center in Miami where the cannibal victim is being treated, says instances of virtually uncontrollable patients being brought in exhibiting signs of psychosis due to this new drug have spiked during the last year.

"You can call it the new LSD. It's a recreational drug," says Adams. "They [patients] seem to be unaware of their surroundings. They are not rational, very aggressive and are stronger than they usually are. In the emergency room it usually takes four to five people to control them, and we have had a couple of people breaking out of restraints."

Adams says he believes there have been at least several hundred South Florida cases alone in the last year of people coming in usually in their twenties and thirties on the drug.

"We have seen people going out in pools outside of our hospital to try and cool down. They usually have to be chemically or physically restrained for six to eight hours," he said.

Citing an "imminent threat to public safety" the U.S Drug Enforcement Agency banned in 2011 for a year the possession and sale of three chemicals used to make the drug as they determine how best to combat the growing problem.

Although they resemble the types of salts people put in their bathtubs, the chemical make-up is different and has allowed peddlers to skirt the authorities. It can be either inhaled or snorted. It is less expensive than cocaine or ecstasy and is made in kitchens and is not that expensive.

Patients on the drug can experience high body temperatures that induce hypothermia, paranoia, hallucinations, and agitation. There is no test available yet for the substance, and because the drug is so new it's unclear if it is addictive.

"This is new to us. I remember years ago when I worked narcotics when crack first came out seeing people with rocks and not knowing what it was," says Aguilar. "We are facing the same problem. Aguilar said the cop who confronted and shot Eugene was traumatized by the incident.

A witness was also shaken by what he said.

"When I looked forward, there's a guy on top of another person, eating him and tearing him apart," said Larry Vega to WPLG who witnessed the attack while on a leisure bike ride. Vega says he went to a Miami police officer and told the officer what was going on and that there was blood everywhere.

"I never thought I would see someone eating someone else. It was really, really horrific. He was tearing it up and just throwing it away," Vega said.

Toast to fallen sailor goes viral

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A bar patron's toast to a fallen sailor has become a phenomenon on Facebook.

On March 28, Hannah Hobbs, a waitress at a Bennigan's restaurant near Borger in the Texas Panhandle, posted a photo of a glass of beer, with a handwritten note from the customer that read:

In memory of Lt. j.g. Francis Toner, USN.
Killed in action 27 March 2009,
Baikh Province, Afghanistan
"Non Sibi Sed Patriae"
NOT FORGOTTEN!

In her photo caption Hobbs explained:

"This guy came in today and asked if it was ok if he left this on the bar.. I cried I left it there until like 11:30 tonight.... I didn't want to pour it out but I had to. So I'm posting this pic so it can stay forever!! So can I get some likes people??"

Yes, yes she could get some likes. As of 10 p.m. ET Monday, Memorial Day, 1,239,045 people had clicked the "Like" button, and the numbers were continuing to skyrocket as the image was shared more than 117,000 times.

Toner, from Narragansett, Rhode Island, was one of two sailors killed when an Afghan National Army soldier opened fire on four officers who were jogging along the perimeter of Camp Shaheen in Mazar-e Sharif, Afghanistan, on March 27, 2009. After the shooting began, Toner, who was unarmed, verbally challenged the attacker and continued to advance until he was fatally wounded. His actions distracted the attacker from shooting other wounded officers and allowed another officer to seek help. For his actions, Toner was posthumously awarded the Silver Star, the nation's third-highest military decoration for valor. He was 26.
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Lt. j.g. Francis Toner IV was awarded a posthumous Silver Star for his courage in Afghanistan.

Toner is buried in Arlington National Cemetery, whose website carries a news obituary written by Paul Davis of the Providence (Rhode Island) Journal. He was born in Panorama City, California, was an athlete and homecoming king at Westlake High School in suburban Los Angeles and trained at the Merchant Marine Academy on Long Island, New York, according to the article and Navy information on the website.

When he was killed, Toner was a week away from a leave of absence to visit his wife, Brooke, in Idaho, the article said. Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, personally handed the Silver Star to Brooke Toner during a ceremony in September 2011.

"He was basically walking straight into the enemy's fire," Mullen said. "We shouldn't - and we won't - ever, ever forget that service, that sacrifice. Because that is what makes us strong, as a military and as a nation."

Toner faced death "tragically and heroically," Mullen said.

Hobbs, the Bennigan's waitress, said she has been surprised by the Facebook community's strong reaction.

"I never meant it to be more than a personal gesture," she said in a Bennigan's news release. "I felt taking a photo and sharing it on Facebook would keep the memorial alive. Several family and friends have served in the military, and I feel we don't do enough as a country to show our appreciation to those that put their lives on the line to keep us safe."

Taking a cue from Hobbs, the restaurant chain has created the "Bennigan's Wall of Heroes." Patrons may purchase a beer and leave a note for any member in the U.S. military, past or present.

Pictures of the beer and note should be posted on the company's Facebook timeline. Bennigan's has pledged to donate $1 for every photo, through Memorial Day, to , a nonprofit organization that provides emergency financial and other assistance to the families of our service members and wounded warriors.

VIDEO: PEOPLE ARE AWESOME

VIDEO: Cat Hide and Seek


VIDEO: Timelapse: Autumn in Otago New Zealand

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Internet Defense League

The Internet Defense League takes the tactic that killed SOPA & PIPA and turns it into a permanent force for defending the internet, and making it better. Think of it like the internet's Emergency Broadcast System, or its bat signal! .....

http://internetdefenseleague.org/

sign up as I did..get active and help protect the internet

Goat Rides New York Subway

JOKE: The Doctor Works Miracles

A reporter went to interview a doctor who was very famous for reattaching severed body parts successfully. The doctor told the reporter: "I don't want to brag, but I reattached the leg of one man, and he is now a world champion skier! He would have been crippled if not for me!"

The reporter was suitable impressed, and scribbled everything the doctor said down on his note pad. Then the doctor went on: " Last year I reattached the hand of a tennis player, and he went on to win at Wimbledon."

The reporter shook his head and wrote all this down. "But I think my all time greatest accomplishment" said the good doctor, "Is when I sewed a mustache on an asshole, and he won seven NASCAR races.

VIDEO: Crow Grooms Dog

VIDEO: Puppy Wants to Swim..Maybe


VIDEO: Sea Lion Kayaker Encounter

VIDEO: David Attenborough of BBC narrates tortoise humping shoe

VIDEO: Cat in the Mirror

Saturday, May 26, 2012

JOKE: The Big Game Hunter

A big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal.
The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again,every time against a round of drinks.
Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep.The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?"
His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed, put your hand down my panties, fiddled around a bit and loudly announced,"Skunk, killed with an ax."

VIDEO: Best marriage proposal ever?

Now we've seen our share of geeky marriage proposals in our day, but Isaac Lamb's insanely epic live lip-dub proposal may just be the most epically awesome "she said yes!" story of them all. The Portland actor had his brother sit girlfriend Amy Frankel down in the back of a Honda CRV and put on some headphones, with the purportedly innocent motive of "playing her a song."

The song that followed was surely far more than Amy was prepared for, as evidenced by the picture-in-picture view of her amazing reaction as Isaac's over-the-top friends and family live lip-dub production unfolded. We're glad she said yes, because anybody who goes to such lengths to craft one of the most unique proposals of all time sure seems like a keeper.

If you thought that was great, just imagine what it's like to have a computerized reverend preside over a wedding ceremony.

VIDEO: Sexy Amateur Finally Gets Modeling Tryout..OMG

VIDEO: 80-Year-Old Woman's Skydiving Trip From Hell


A video of an elderly woman's skydiving adventure gone horribly awry has gone viral, perhaps serving as a warning literally to look before you leap - or at least to mind your elders when it looks like they actually don't want to jump out of the plane.
The video was created by The Parachute Center, a skydiving company in Acampo, Calif., as a memento for jumpers to take home after their airborne adventures.
But someone posted it on The Chive, a video site on which a counter said it has been viewed more than 170,000 times. It shows Laverne, an energetic woman who has just turned 80 and has rounded up a crew of female relatives to go skydiving with her. She tells the camera that she's "real excited," and that she has wanted to do this for "at least 10 years."
Cut to the plane taking off to an upbeat rock tune by The Offspring. We see Laverne smiling, looking out the window, and putting on her safety goggles. A few jumpers dive from the open plane window and whoosh down toward the earth below. Looks like they're all having fun.
But wait a second - something's wrong. The Offspring song has been cranked up and it's Laverne's turn to jump with her towheaded tandem instructor, but it looks as if she's having second thoughts. She's no longer smiling and is instead clinging to the side of the open door. Then her legs buckle and she's sitting down, refusing to move, and appears to mouth the word "No!"
Instead of letting the poor woman just sit it out - it's not like they're on an episode of "Fear Factor," right? - the instructor scoops her up and they fall forward out of the plane.
The camera person has also jumped, so from his vantage point, we see that Laverne has evidently slipped out of her harness so that the straps are attaching her to her instructor from behind her knees. She's also clinging to him with her arms. And her shirt has flown up, so we see part of Laverne's torso. The instructor starts trying to pull her shirt down, which is the last thing we see before the camera cuts to the scenery thousands of feet below them.
The souvenir video from hell finishes from the ground, where we see the duo land in the distance and two employees run toward them. Laverne appears to be okay, but says something to the effect of "Let me get my clothes," as she tugs at her blouse. The instructor seems shaken and one of the other employees is consoling him.
"This happened a long time ago and everything worked as advertised," said Parachute Center owner Bill Dause in a statement to ABC News. "No one got hurt or injured." In a separate call to the center, an employee who answered the phone said the video was a year old, but said he had no more information.
Skydiving fatalities are on the decline these days, with some 21 deaths out of 3 million jumpers in 2010, a 0.007 chance of death, according to the United States Parachute Association.
Nancy Koreen, a spokesperson for the association, said they were aware of the incident before the video was posted. It looked as if Laverne's harness wasn't adjusted properly, and that she wasn't positioned properly before the jump, she said. "But that's not at all a common occurrence," she said. "It's extremely, extremely rare."
There have been two similar incidents of harness slippage, in which skydivers slipped out of their harnesses completely, said Koreen. Both happened about a decade ago, she said, and afterwards harness manufacturers modified them to have an extra strap across the skydiver's back.
"The USPA does everything that we can to reinforce proper training for instructors, constantly issuing reminders to make sure that instructors are properly adjusting their student harnesses to avoid any kind of situation where the students isn't situated properly or comes loose," Koreen said.
Even so, Laverne will probably celebrate her next birthday on solid ground.

Friday, May 25, 2012

JOKE: Woman Chasing Husband


Sylvia was in her backyard hanging up her washing when Sarah, her next door neighbor, poked her head over the fence and said, "I don't like being the one to have to tell you this Sylvia, but there's a rumor going around that your husband Robert is chasing the women."

"So what?" said Sylvia.

"But at his age!" said Sarah, "He's over 80 isn't he?"

"Ya, so he's eighty-two, so what?" replied Sylvia. "Let him chase girls. Dogs chase cars, but when they catch one, can they drive it?"

Man Admitted to Hospital for Kidney Stone, Discovers He's a Woman

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A Colorado man who was admitted to the hospital for a kidney stone received surprising news when the nurse came back with test results revealing he was actually a woman.
Denver photographer Steve Crecelius said he's felt a little different all his life.
"When I was about 6 years old, I started having these feminine feelings, but that was in the '60s. Wearing my mom's makeup, I thought I looked pretty," Crecelius told ABC News.
So when he went to the emergency room five years ago, he wasn't too shocked when the nurse told him she found traits of both genders in his ultrasound results.
He was intersex, meaning he had both male genitalia and internal female sex organs.
"The nurse is reading the ultrasound and says, 'Huh, this says you're a female,' Crecelius said. "It was very liberating. I had spent so much energy after the age of 13 constantly evaluating how people looked at me and acted towards me."
Steve, who now goes by "Stevie," said his wife and their six children accepted his new identity right away.
"We told them individually. Some were in person and some weren't," Crecelius said. "Every one of them said, 'We don't care one way or the other. We love you for who you are and you're still my dad.'"
Crecelius and his wife, Debbie, have been together for 25 years and she's supported him every step of the way, including taking him to buy his first bra.
She told Crecelius, "You know, when I first saw you, I said to myself, 'He runs like a girl.'"
"I think we were pretty good when she began to mourn the loss of her husband," Crecelius said. "We worked through what we needed to. The concept of unconditional love is a larger story."
Intersex is a term used to describe people who bear both external genitals and internal organs, such as testes and ovaries.
A person with the condition may have male genitals along with fallopian tubes and ovaries.
"The condition used to be called hermaphroditism, meaning that person can't be identified as male or female," Crecelius said.
According to the Intersex Society of North America, more than 1,500 children a year are born intersex.
For Crecelius, he hopes he can be an advocate for those born intersex and same-sex couples.
"I think of bullying, because I haven't heard anyone talk about this. It's important to talk about," Crecelius said. "People need to be accepting and understand. I was born this way, and loving each other and supporting each other will always be the main factor in our household."

Bill Clinton and the Porn Stars

What's making rounds of the Internet today: this photo of Bill Clinton posing with porn starlets Jennifer Taule, Tasha Reign and Brooklyn Lee. The picture was taken in a casino in Monte Carlo, during a "Nights in Monaco" gala event and tweeted by Brooklyn Lee.

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VIDEO: Tornadoes Photobomb Wedding in Kansas

VIDEO: 3 Year Old Takes a Ride...Through Heavy Traffic..OMG

Toddler Crosses Busy Intersection on Toy Scooter

VIDEO: 2 Year Old Dance Recital Fight

Thursday, May 24, 2012

VIDEO: Watch A Truck Flip And Nearly Take Out Two Cars

JOKE: TIPS FROM THE BIG BOOK OF REDNECK MANNERS


1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
2. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
4. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

***DINING OUT ***

1. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

***ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME ***

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

***PERSONAL HYGIENE ***

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

***DATING (Outside the Family) ***

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested. "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer,it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance such as, "ya sure don't sweat much for a fat broad."

***WEDDINGS ***

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

***DRIVING ETIQUETTE ***

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

VIDEO: Wingsuit daredevil stuntman jumps from 2,500 ft without parachute

British stuntman Gary Connery has become the first man to jump 2400 feet without a parachute. The 42-year-old wingman skydived from a helicopter above Ridge Wood, Buckinghamshire, and landed in an area covered with 18,600 cardboard boxes.

VIDEO: Say Pop-si-cle

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

VIDEO: Dog bites into spray can; explosion ignites kitchen fire


In the words of his human mom, 8-year-old Yogi is one "rotten" dog. But after the incorrigible Corgi caused a kitchen fire that was caught on film, she's just happy he's safe and sound.
Hali Hudson had agreed to let Yogi appear on an episode of the new animal Web series, "Pet Sense," being produced by the Pet Collective. In the premiere episode, Yogi was brought in to work with an "animal communicator" who was supposed to help adjust his rambunctious behavior.
You see, Yogi "hates" cleaning supplies. And Hudson says the otherwise sweet dog has always been that way since she first adopted him from a breeder in Tulsa, Oklahoma, when he was just two months old.
"When he was younger, I'd yell at him to come back," Hudson said in a phone interview with Yahoo News. "He'd just ignore me. And then I'd grab the Lysol can, spray it, and he would come running back."
For the taping of the show, Hudson opened the doors to her kitchen cabinet under the sink so the "Pet Sense" producers could film Yogi in action. And he didn't disappoint--immediately attacking the various cans of cleaning supplies. However, he also clamped down on a bottle of black spray paint, which then exploded.
Yogi was unhurt and didn't seem to mind the black paint covering his face. But as Hudson escorted Yogi off-camera to clean him up, the camera kept rolling in the kitchen. And that's when aerosol from the ruptured can mixed with the pilot light inside Hudson's oven, causing a sudden explosion that was captured on film.
Thankfully, the fire was safely put out. Yogi, Hali and the "Pet Sense" film crew were all OK. So, was it all worth it? Has Yogi learned his lesson and become the well-behaved dog his mom hoped for?
"His behavior is still as rotten as ever. He still hates cleaning supplies. Nothing's changed but I didn't really expect it to," Hudson said, with a laugh.
The only real difference now is that she keeps the space underneath her kitchen sink free of all canine temptations.
And here's a follow-up interview with Hudson and the camera crew about their experience:

JOKE: PANTY ETIQUETTE


Adan asked his neighbor how he kept his car looking so nice and glossy.The neighbor replied that his wife gave him all her worn out panties and he used these to polish his car with. Being a bachelor, he decided to ask his stenographer for some of hers, so one day at the office he asked: "By the way, Miss Wendy, what do you do with your panties when you wear them out?"

Why," she replied demurely, "If I can find them afterwards, I put them back on again!"

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VIDEO: Sneaky pig steals from fridge

A pig waits until his owner walks away. Then he opens the fridge and munches on a drawer full of apples.

VIDEO: Massive great white shark launches frenzied attack next to fishing boat

Australian authorities have assured swimmers and surfers at Bondi Beach that lifeguards routinely patrol for sharks after footage surfaced recently, showing a massive great white savagely attacking a smaller blue shark attached to a line alongside a fishing boat (footage begins at the 30-second mark).

Henry Minter, one of the fishermen who was aboard the boat, said the encounter took place only 200 meters, or about the shake of a tail, beyond the shore. He estimated the shark's length to be at least 18 feet.

"We were fishing off the coast of Bondi Beach and were on board a 32-foot powerboat," he said, via email. "Shortly after catching a small blue shark we tied a rope off to it's tail and the large great white appeared obviously attracted by the frenzy of the blue shark.

"We were amazed as the shark bit the whole blue shark in half and proceeded to play tug of war with us with the remaining tail half.

VIDEO: Former President Of CNN Headline News Caught On Video Putting Dog Poop In Neighbor's Mailbox

VIDEO: Never Forget Your Wedding Anniversary ..Commercial

A funny commercial for Flowers.nl, an online florist company in The Netherlands.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

JOKE: YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 WHEN...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 WHEN...
01. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
02. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
03. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
04. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
05. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and is that they don't have their e-mail addresses.
06. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
07. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
08. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

VIDEO: End Cat Boredom.. Public Service Announcement

VIDEO: Disco The Parakeet Will Talk Your Ear Off

VIDEO: Serious Chilin' Dog

VIDEO: Lollipop Cat

VIDEO: Fart Failure

fart failure..sure sounds painful

Monday, May 21, 2012

VIDEO: Spectacular Annular Solar Eclipse Time Lapse

Over 700 photos taken by a Coronado Solar Max 60 Double Stacked Hydrogen Alpha Solar Telescope were used to created the sixty second video

JOKE: Commuter Blues

A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. Thinking it would make the trip more bearable, he invited several coworkers to share the ride. However, the commute actually got more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.

"Doc," the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week. But now, when I get in the tunnels with those four other guys crowded into the car, I get anxious and dizzy, and I feel like I'm going to explode."

Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had diagnosed the ailment.

"What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?"

"No, no, no, my boy. You have something that is becoming more and more common."

"Tell me! What is it?"

"You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome."

Evil clown stalks kids as birthday treat

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Attention parents: Just in case your children don't have anything to talk about in therapy, here's something you might want to consider:

For a fee, actor Dominic Deville dresses up in a deathly clown mask and contacts his child "victims" in the Swiss city of Lucerne to tell them he is watching them.

His "evil clown" service unfolds further as he teases his targets with texts, phone calls and booby-trapped letters, warning them that at some point during their birthday party, he will throw a cake in their face, the Austrian Times reports.

Mr Deville's look appears based on the monster clown played by Tim Curry in the 1990 TV adaptation of the Stephen King novel It.

In fact he admitted he set up the chilling business concept after watching his favourite horror movies.

"It's all in fun and if at any point the kids get scared or their parents are concerned, we stop right there," he said, adding that most children "absolutely love" being terrified by his antics.

VIDEO: Xiaonan Sun Draws with Both Hands at the Same Time

Saturday, May 19, 2012

JOKE: ##### Did You Ever Wonder? #####


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- If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 

- Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? 

- If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 

- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 

- When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Or do you get change? 

- Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker? 

- Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. 

- Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist? 

- Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 

- Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 

- Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? 

- If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn'tit follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 

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Friday, May 18, 2012

JOKE: NEW TSA SLOGANS


Grope discounts available.
Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants.
If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first.
Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.
Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
Throw a few back at the airport Chili's and you won't even notice.
Wanna fly? Drop your fly.
We are now free to move about your pants
We rub you the wrong way, so you can be on your way.
It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.
When in doubt, we make you whip it out.
TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'
You were a virgin.
We handle more packages than the USPS
The TSA isn't silly, they just want to inspect your willy
Stroke of the hand, law of the land
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem
Let your fingers do the Walking
Turn your head to the side and Cough
Reach out and touch someone
Can you feel me now?
When we're done with you, you'll need a cigarette

VIDEO: Norm the Dog Rides His Bike

Man killed rabid mountain lion with frying pan

Chino Valley resident Brandon Arnold killed a rabid mountain lion with a frying pan, and he has witnesses to prove it. Arnold, 24, his girlfriend Tessa Gerdes and seven of their Chino Valley friends, including three children, were camping on May 4 at a remote spot on the Tonto National Forest, near the Verde River off Bloody Basin Road, when the story of a lifetime unfolded. They were getting ready to make breakfast at about 6:45 a.m. when a large animal jumped out of the bushes onto the back of Arnold's dog Apollo, a 90-pound lab-pit bull mix.

"It was hard to tell what it was when it jumped out of there covered with grass and smelling like a skunk," Arnold's friend Donald Jones said. "I thought it was somebody's dog, so I was just pissed off somebody brought a mean dog to camp." Jones grabbed the neck of both the animals to try to pull them apart. That's when they all figured out the other animal wasn't a dog. Jones let go real fast. "I started screaming at the top of my lungs, 'Holy (bleep), it's a mountain lion!'" Arnold recalled.

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The lion ran into the mesquite bushes and Apollo ran after it while the men frantically looked for the nearest weapon. Jones grabbed a camping table and Arnold grabbed a 14-inch cast-iron skillet heating up on the propane stove. Arnold got to the lion and dog fight first and did what he had to do to save Apollo. "The first time I had a clear shot I just swung the pan and hit him right on the head," Arnold said. "It was like a cartoon - he just kind of stopped and I hit him again. He got stiff and fell over." He hit it several more times, then another friend shot it a couple of times just to make sure it was dead.

Figuring only a rabid lion would act like that, they contacted the Arizona Game and Fish Department. The positive rabies results came back on Monday. Amazingly, no one besides Apollo was scratched, or they'd have to get expensive and painful rabies shots. Apollo already had his rabies shots. He suffered gashes and scratches but they weren't life-threatening. He has to stay in quarantine at home for 45 days. "Everybody was lucky," Jones said. "Even the dog was lucky. We'll never win the lottery because we used up all our luck right there." The group continued their camping weekend, although they moved to a site with fewer bushes around it.

VIDEO: How to Hypnotize Your Chicken

Thursday, May 17, 2012

JOKE: Two cannibals

Two cannibals captured a hapless missionary, cooked him to perfection, and sat down to dinner. To be fair, they decided that one would start at the head and eat down and the other would start at the feet and eat up; that way they'd meet in middle. After a few minutes, the top one asked, "How it's going down there?"

His friend replied, "I'm having a ball!"

"Slow down! You're eating too fast!"

VIDEO: I'll Bet You Can't Park Like This!

VIDEO: Wind-powered electric cars could be the answer to China's pollution woes

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A Chinese farmer has invented a wind-powered electric car that he says could save his country from the pollution caused by its rapidly growing car market. An hour from Beijing, the dusty village of Banjiehe looks an unlikely place to produce scientific innovation.

Its rows of brick, utilitarian houses are surrounded by cornfields and fruit trees. But in a small tractor workshop, 55-year-old farmer Tang Zhenping has invented the prototype of a car that he believes could revolutionize China's auto industry. Mr Tang's model - built in just three months for around �1,000 - is electric.

Its engine uses scrap parts from a motorcycle and electric scooter, while its steering wheel, upholstery and headlights all come from a Chinese-made Xiali hatchback. But what makes the one-seater special is the turbine on its nose.

When the car reaches 40mph, the blades spring into action and begin generating pollution-free power. "It works just like a windmill," said Mr Tang, who claims the turbine gives his vehicle three times the battery life of other electric cars. The model has a top speed of 70mph.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

JOKE: HE SHOT THE WIFE?

"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her."
"That's correct," says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover," asked the prosecutor?
The defendant replies, "It was easier than having to shoot a different man everyday!"

VIDEO: Larry Bird the dancing cockatoo teaches how to do the Dougie.

VIDEO: Dangerous Scaffolding-India

VIDEO: Energetic dogs

JOKE: GREAT ATTITUDE


Jack had a blind date with Jill for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself more and more attracted to her. After some really passionate embracing, he said: "Tell me, do you object to making love?"
"That is something I have never done before," Jill replied.
"Never made love? You mean you are a virgin?" Jack was amazed!
"No, silly," she giggled, "I've never objected!"

Monday, May 14, 2012

Man bitten by rattlesnake at Washington state Walmart

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When Mica Craig reached down to brush what he thought was a stick off some mulch in the garden section of a Washington state Walmart, it turned around and sank its fangs into his hand.

The Friday encounter with a rattlesnake sent Craig, 47, to the hospital, where he said he remained in excruciating pain and may lose feeling in two fingers. Wal-Mart Stores Inc has apologized.

"I reached down to grab the stick to move it out of the way, and the snake stretched out, turned around and got its fangs in my right hand," he said. "I slung it off and I did a tap dance on it until it was dead."

Craig was rushed to the hospital by fellow customer Maria Geffre who said she saw him crumple to the ground after crying out that he had been bitten by a snake.

"He had punctures on his hand and there was the dead rattler he'd stomped on," Geffre said, describing the snake as at least a foot long with four buttons, or rattles.

Craig, a married father of two, said the mulch was for his marijuana plants, which he is licensed to grow for medical reasons. It was unclear whether the snake came from an adjacent field or arrived at the store along with garden supplies.

Craig said doctors who initially thought the snake had inflicted only a "dry bite" - or one that did not inject venom - treated him with six bags of anti-venom after his right hand swelled to the size of a melon.

A Walmart spokeswoman offered an apology to Craig and said the retailer was looking into how the incident could have happened at the store in Clarkston, in eastern Washington.

"At this point, it appears to be an isolated incident. We are working with a pest management team, which is conducting a sweep of the property to ensure there is no additional rattlesnake activity," Walmart spokeswoman Kayla Whaling said.

Travis Taggart, director of the Center for North American Herpetology, said about half of documented rattlesnake bites, which are usually defensive when directed at humans, are "dry" but still cause severe pain.

JOKE: Helping With Breakfast

My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,"You've got to make love to me right this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken.

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VIDEO: Everyone Needs a Schticky..Here's the Commercial Lol


VIDEO: Why Is Yawning Contagious?

VIDEO: Cat Eats Watermelon

VIDEO: 100 Balloons Popped Domino Style With Laser


Sunday, May 13, 2012

JOKE: INSEMINATION MAN AND THE BLONDE


Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Colorado rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" and then the rancher leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one, right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple. By the nail over its stall." Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
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VIDEO: Indian Baby Tossing Ritual

As a coming of age ritual in the southern Indian state of Karnataka, Hindu priests drop babies from the temple balcony down to a crowd with a catching blanket. Apparently, the belief is the ritual will make them grow stronger.

VIDEO: Baby Falls Alseep Eating Ice Cream Cone In Car Seat

VIDEO: Cat Sings The Blues

VIDEO: Fines issued for texting while walking in Fort Lee, New Jersey

People caught texting on their mobile phones while walking face being fined by police in a US town. The clampdown comes after a rise in the number of jaywalking incidents, where pedestrians cross roads illegally or recklessly, instead of using marked routes.

Officers in Fort Lee, New Jersey, have said some people are constantly putting themselves at risk of being hit by vehicles because they do not pay attention. Police are stepping up patrols looking for "dangerous" walkers who are not obeying the rules of the road.

They have been handing out leaflets warning pedestrians about the crackdown. So far this year, more than 20 people have been hit by cars in Fort Lee. "It's a big distraction. Pedestrians aren't watching where they're going. They're not aware," said Fort Lee Police chief Thomas Ripoli at a news conference.

One resident Sue Choe admitted she texts and walks "all the time," but added: "When I walk, I still look around. I'm not constantly looking down." In the last month-and-a-half, at least 117 tickets have been issued for jaywalking - an offence which carries a fine of $85.

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