Blonde Joke~

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?’
The blonde said it was hers. 'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.’
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.’
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.’
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!’

The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.’

Aussie Funny~

                          

                   

Randy, a Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.  There he meets an Glen, an Aussie farmer and gets talking.  The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, 'Oh yeah.  We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.'

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Glen shows off his herd of cattle. Then Randy immediately says, 'We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.'

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field and so he asks, 'And what are those?'

'Glen', the Aussie replies with an incredulous look, 'Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas.'