Tuesday, December 29, 2009

WEIRD INVENTIONS 2009

Photobucket Burned or underdone toast could soon be a thing of the past thanks to a new glass toaster that lets you see your bread as it browns Photobucket A Chinese man called Mr Bi has trained his cat to use his toilet. He spent seven years inventing the gadgets that allow his pet to flush away her mess. He now plans to sell his contraption to other cat owners Photobucket A model demonstrates Triumph's "make-the-putt bra", which turns into a putting mat for the busy golfing woman. The garment has slots in which to store tees on either sides of the cups when worn and can roll out into a smooth putting mat Photobucket A child demonstrates the PediSedate, which gently sedates youngsters by administering anaesthetic nitrous oxide gas through a headset as they play handheld consoles Photobucket What better way to discourage bear attacks when camping in the woods than to make them think you've already been eaten by another bear? Artist EIko Ishizawa has created this sleeping bag for a warm and safe night's sleep Photobucket The Amphicoach, an amphibious 50-seater luxury coach, is used in Malta. It is capable of 70mph on land and eight knots across water

JOKE: JEWISH CHRISTMAS

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As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas.
She called on young Patrick Murphy.
"Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?", she asked.
Patrick addressed the class,
"Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings.
Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our Toys".
"Very nice Patrick", she said.
"Now, Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?"
"Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum And Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late.We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings.
We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents."
Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class
and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked,
"Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"
Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year.
Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory.
When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing
'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'.
Then we all go to the Bahamas."

JOKE: A guy gets pulled over by a cop for speeding

cop car gif

A guy gets pulled over by a cop for speeding.

As the cop is writing up the ticket, the guy asks, "Can you arrest me for calling you a filthy name?"

"Yes" replies the cop.

He then asks, "Can you arrest me for thinking something?"

"No" replies the cop.

"Well then," says the man, "I think you're an asshole".

Monday, December 28, 2009

VIDEO: THIS CAT..ANGRY OR HAPPY?

VIDEO: This Is Weird..A Cadbury Commercial


Man Trashes Church Because He Was Paid By Check..Not Cash

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SPOKANE -- An angry church member caused a lot of destruction at a North Spokane Church early Tuesday morning.

The Spokane County Sheriff's Department says the dispute was over a $70 electric repair bill. That bill apparently sparked a tirade overnight.

The suspect, Mark Heitman, allegedly used his truck to ram the Country Crossroads Christian Church at 7011 North Altamont. That was his last stop, but before doing that, he went on a rampage at the church pastor's home.

That pastor, Dan Eubank, told us Heitman went to his home first and broke out windows in his truck before heading to the church.

Eubank said that he believes Heitman was upset over repair work he had done for the church.

"He'd done work on the church and we paid him with a check not cash, I didn't have cash and he got mad," said Eubank.

Heitman rammed the church building several times with his truck, apparently trying to get in. When he did break in, he reportedly broke nearly every window, television and computer screen, and most of the lighting fixtures. He also allegedly smashed the church instruments, and even crushed the toilets. Damages are estimated at tens of thousands of dollars.

Sheriff's deputies say they found Heitman at Auto Masters on North Nevada. A friend working at the shop said Heitman was crying and felt terrible for what he'd done to the church, and that he was planning on turning himself in.

Country Crossroads Christian Church has a congregation of about 120 people and has been serving the community for over 15 years. Pastor Eubank is waiting on the insurance to assess the situation to get his church up and running again.

Heitman is being charged with second degree burglary and malicious mischief.

JOKE: "Wash. Biol. Surv."

I give up

The inscription on the metal bands used by the United States Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.

The small metal bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, which was abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv." until recently when the agency received a letter from an Arkansas outdoorsman.

The letter read: "Dear sirs, While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag, and I want to tell you, it was horrible."

The bands are now marked "Fish and Wildlife Service."

JOKE: A hunter was out enjoying a nice morning

hahahaha

A hunter was out enjoying a nice morning in the woods when he decided to take a leak. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged ... shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor, who said, "Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly." answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the Chicago Symphony. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eyes!"

TOUCHING SONG OF A BOY AND HIS DOG CALLED STAINS

WOW..THIS IS COOL BUT VERY DIFFERENT

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