I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
VIDEO: PARALYZED..ELVIS and DAVE EDMUNDS
Champion Climber Helps Avert Cat-tastrophe
You could hear the screeches before you saw him perched high on a ledge above a trail. The unlucky kitten was stuck, unable to make its way down. He was out of easy reach, perhaps only accessible to rescuers or a champion climber. But then came along Kay Leclaire.
"We were running from the Spokane Club, and we could hear this poor little kitten crying," she said. Leclaire looked up and there he was - a tiny kitten on a tiny ledge, practically begging for help. "I'm sure it was terrified and obviously had no way to get down," said Leclaire. And that's when the unlucky kitten's luck turned. Leclaire is a world-renowned climber. "We went home, got my climbing equipment and decided to rescue the little kitten," she said.
At 60, Leclaire became the oldest woman to climb the highest peaks on all seven continents. And last May, she became the second oldest American woman to summit Mount Everest. For the old pro, climbing the old railroad abutment to rescue the kitten was hardly intimidating. With a harness and ropes in place, she repelled over the side of the abutment to the very anxious cat below.
"He was ready to be rescued, that's for sure," Leclaire said. As animal control officers looked on, the veteran climber grabbed the critter and handed him off to others waiting at the top.
Despite her years of experience, the rescue turned out to be more challenging than Leclaire expected. "I didn't put enough coils around the part that goes to my feet, so the rope was slipping," she said. Still, the ending was a happy one with both Leclaire and the kitten safe on the ground, where they formally met.
"Hey there," Leclaire said. "Aw, you're shaking, my goodness." As for the kitten, he's already begun his new life. After his rescue, he was given a clean bill of health, named "Sky" and adopted within hours.
JOKE: An Aussie salesman drove into a small town
An Aussie salesman drove into a small town in the far south of New Zealand, where a small circus was playing. A sign read: "Don't Miss the Amazing Maori." The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, under the Big Top, in the centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was a middle aged Maori. Suddenly, the Maori dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male member and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause and the Maori was carried off on their shoulders.
Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus, and saw the same faded sign that read, "Don't Miss the Amazing Maori."
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket.
Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The old Maori stood before them, then suddenly dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show. "You're incredible!" he told the Maori, "but I have to know something. I saw your act 15 years ago, and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?"
"Well," said the Maori, "my eye sight isn't what it used to be."
Friday, January 15, 2010
VIDEO: WEIRD NEWS
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| News of the Weird - Mark McGwire, Game Change & Sarah Palin | ||||
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Mother Traded Daughter for Gun
Maricopa County authorities say they have arrested a Mesa woman who allegedly tried to trade her 2-year-old daughter for a gun.
Maricopa County Arizona Sheriff's deputies arrested 33-year-old Tanya Nareau on Tuesday after receiving a tip about the swap. While at Nareau's home, deputies spoke with a family friend who had the child and confirmed to deputies that Nareau gave the girl to him for a gun.
Deputies say Nareau felt that the family friend would do a better job in raising the child than she would. They say Nareau also claimed she could not buy a weapon because she's prohibited to do so by law.
Authorities say Nareau has been booked into the county jail in downtown Phoenix. She's been charged with the unlawful sale of a child and solicitation to possess a weapon by a prohibited person.
JOKE: Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates Meet In Heaven
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker.
The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, tell what is important about yourself. Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important. God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand".
God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand".
God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?" Bill Gates responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".
Pentagon Paid $999,798 to Ship Two 19-Cent Washers to Texas
A small South Carolina parts supplier collected about $20.5 million over six years from the Pentagon for fraudulent shipping costs, including $998,798 for sending two 19-cent washers to a Texas base, U.S. officials said.
The owners of C&D Distributors in Lexington, South Carolina -- twin sisters -- exploited a flaw in an automated Defense Department purchasing system: bills for shipping to combat areas or U.S. bases that were labeled ``priority'' were usually paid automatically, said Cynthia Stroot, a Pentagon investigator.
C&D's fraudulent billing started in 2000, Stroot, the Defense Criminal Investigative Service's chief agent in Raleigh, North Carolina, said in an interview. ``As time went on they got more aggressive in the amounts they put in.''
The price the military paid for each item shipped rarely reached $100 and totaled just $68,000 over the six years in contrast to the $20.5 million paid for shipping, she said.
``The majority, if not all of these parts, were going to high-priority, conflict areas -- that's why they got paid,'' Stroot said. If the item was earmarked ``priority,'' destined for the military in Iraq, Afghanistan or certain other locations, ``there was no oversight.''
Scheme Detected
The scheme unraveled in September after a purchasing agent noticed a bill for shipping two more 19-cent washers: $969,000. That order was rejected and a review turned up the $998,798 payment earlier that month for shipping two 19-cent washers to Fort Bliss, Texas, Stroot said.
The Pentagon Defense Logistics Agency orders millions of parts a year. Stroot said the agency and the Defense Finance and Accounting Service, which pays contractors, have made major changes, including thorough evaluations of the priciest shipping charges.
A review of paid shipping invoices showed that fraudulent billing is ``is not a widespread problem,'' she said.
``C&D was a rogue contractor,'' Stroot said. While other questionable billing has been uncovered, nothing came close to C&D's, she said. The next-highest contractor billed $2 million in questionable transport costs, she said.
Guilty Pleas
C&D and two of its officials were barred in December from receiving federal contracts. A federal judge in Columbia, South Carolina, today accepted the guilty plea of the company and one sister, Charlene Corley, to one count of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and one count of conspiracy to launder money, Assistant U.S. Attorney Kevin McDonald said.
Corley, 46, faces a maximum prison sentence of 20 years on each count and will be sentenced in the near future, McDonald said in a telephone interview from Columbia. Stroot said her sibling died last year.
Corley didn't immediately return a phone message left on her answering machine at her office in Lexington. Her attorney, Gregory Harris, didn't immediately a phone call placed to his office in Columbia.
Stroot said the Pentagon hopes to recoup most of the $20.5 million by auctioning homes, beach property, jewelry and ``high- end automobiles'' that the sisters spent the money on.
``They took a lot of vacations,'' she said.
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