Sunday, March 7, 2010

Woman bitten by bear at Wisconsin zoo, fingers severed

don't feed the animals


MANITOWOC, Wis. - Police say a bear bit off a woman's fingers at a Wisconsin zoo after she ignored barriers and warning signs to try to feed the animal.

The Lincoln Park Zoo in Manitowoc closed after the incident Friday morning. Police say the 47-year-old woman lost a thumb and a forefinger, and two other fingers were partially severed.

The woman's boyfriend was bitten as he tried to pry the bear's mouth off her hand, but he didn't lose any fingers. Her 3-year-old granddaughter wasn't injured.

A mayor's office statement says alcohol played a factor.

It's unclear which of two Asiatic black bears bit the women when she put her hand through their enclosure's fence. Police tell the Herald Times Reporter the bears likely won't be euthanized.

Manitowoc is about 80 miles north of Milwaukee.

JOKE: It was finals week at the college

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It was finals week at the college. The students had filed into the auditorium, and picked up their blue-books for the test. This particular class had been in aviaian biology and identification. The professor was known to give very difficult finals, and weighed them heavily in the grade.

Looking down to the table in the front of the room, the students saw several stands with stuffed and mounted birds. They could see that they were birds, as the feet were visible below the burlap sacks that had been placed over them. And beside each was a small sign with a number.

The bell rang, the professor allowed a moment for the noise to die down, and them addressed the class. "Today's final will count, as you know, for a large percentage of the grade. But the directions for the test are simple. You are to identify each of the birds on the table before you. Write the number, and the latin and common name of the creature associated with it, on your paper. When you have completed the identifications, you may leave. Begin." With that he sat down.

One of the students, a few rows back from the front gestured for the profs attention, and asked a question, "Uh, professor, are you going to remove the sacks so we can see the birds?"

"No... If you've been following the lectures through the term, you should be able to identify each of them by its feet alone. You should have realized the areas that I was stressing, in class and in the reading assignments."

The student, becoming a little alarmed, "You mean, you expect us to be able to know one of these from the others just by its feet. That's unreasonable."

"I'm sorry you're dismayed by this test. Perhaps if you'll begin it'll go better than you expect, and then the others can begin also."

"No, this is absurd. I'm not going to take this test. This is outrageous. I'm leaving." And the student begins to gather up his pencils, and day-pack.

"If you're leaving, tell me your name, so I can mark you off in my book now, please."

The irate student, holding up his feet so the prof can see them, replies, "YOU FIGURE IT OUT!"

Saturday, March 6, 2010

VIDEO: Docor's Visit..Hee Heeeee

language may be objectionable to some

37-year-old woman driver was shaving her bikini area before accident

DOH

As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."

If that weren't enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.

The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months' probation.

Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.

Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the Thunderbird hit him, traveling about 45 mph, which was within the speed limit, Dunick said.

Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.

"She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick said. "It was like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?' "

Burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.

Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.

Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.

"My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there's a funny side to this, but it's also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this," Dunick said. "It is unbelievable. I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys."

VIDEO: GOOD DRIVER AWARD....NOT!!!!!!!

Teacher, 41, accused of sending nude photos of herself to boy

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Police in Londonderry N.H. said a teacher accused of sending a student nude photos of herself was arrested Friday.

Melinda Dennehy, 41, an sophomore English teacher at Londonderry High School, turned herself in to police Friday morning. She was charged with one felony count of indecent exposure.

According to court documents, a 15-year-old male student at the high school revealed that Dennehy e-mailed him four nude photos of herself about two months ago. The documents said she allegedly continuously sent him text messages, saying she wanted to perform a sexual act with him.

The teen e-mailed the photos to two other students, according to the court documents, and the boy's father showed police an e-mail of the photos that had Dennehy's e-mail address on it. Students said the pictures were circulating around the school.

"A couple of kids in our school had them on their phones, and it was going around the school," said senior Seth Giberson. "Everybody had them."

Giberson said that a few weeks ago, he saw classmates looking at four photos of the teacher.

"They started flicking through pictures and they were pictures of her naked," he said. "Like, full body pictures from head to toe."

Police had been investigating Dennehy since Wednesday, when school officials said allegations about her conduct came to light. The school placed her on administrative leave.

"She had come from the private sector, decided she would like to go into education, pursued that degree, and then she was hired by us three years ago," Superintendent Nate Greenberg said.

Dennehy was released on $10,000 personal recognizance bail and ordered to have no contact with anyone under 16. She also cannot go onto school property.

Greenberg said the school is handling the situation as best as it can.

"It obviously has an impact on faculty, staff and students," he said.

Her arraignment is scheduled for March 23.

JOKE: Fourth Marriage

old woman w cig

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

'He's a funeral director,' she answered.

'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'

Friday, March 5, 2010

AUDIO: FIVE YEAR OLD'S 911 CALL SAVED DAD'S LIFE..CUTEST CALL EVER

JOKE:

One day a Jewish man wakes up late for a new job interview. He quickly takes a shower, eats breakfast, and gets into his car. When he finally gets there, he can't find any parking places. He looks and looks, but he just doesn't find one. Finally he prays to God and says, "God if you find me a parking spot, I'll go to synagogue every Saturday morning and I will never lie again."

Two minutes later, he finds a parking spot out of the blue and says, "Never mind God. I found one!"

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WOMAN SUES AFTER GETTING FOUR BREASTS

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Maria Alaimo wanted a breast augmentation, not a breast duplication.

But "four breasts" is what the Staten Island NY mother got after a 2003 visit to Dr. Keith Berman, which was intended to enlarge the woman's breasts to a full 36 C cup.

Instead, Alaimo wound up with "double-bubble" deformities that caused "pain ... disability, loss of self-esteem, humiliation and embarrassment," according to her lawsuit.

"Maria came out of that operation with essentially four breasts," her attorney, Michael J. Kuharski, told jurors during Monday's opening arguments in Staten Island Supreme Court.

Postoperative photos showed heavy scars on Alaimo's breasts, which appear flattened on the bottom with "severe swells the size of a softball on top.

The surgery also subsequently led to Alaimo's divorce from Dominic Alaimo after she refused to undress due to embarrassment, Kuharski told the court. The 47-year-old is now seeking $5 million in damages from Dr. Berman.

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