Teacher Shows Up Drunk..Third Graders Report Her to Principal

A Chesterfield County Virginia substitute-teacher is facing several charges after a group of students reported her to the principal's office Friday.
The principal at Jacobs Road Elementary School told parents about the incident in a letter she sent home to parents. It says less than 30 minutes after school started the students reported that the teacher was in possession of alcohol on school property.
Police say that 50-year old Sabrina Pado was substitute-teaching for third grade students and when they arrived they found beer inside her water bottle.
Pado has been charged with being drunk in public and having alcohol on school property, both misdemeanors.
A spokesman for the school system would not comment except to say it's a personnel matter and did say the system has strict expectations of all employees and those expectations come with consequences.
Cyrus Mom sits next to the teacher's desk and he says there was a strong odor of beer in his classroom Friday morning.
A little girl complaining of the classroom reeking of the alcohol odor so bad, she got sick.
Cyrus says, "The nurse asked the little girl why she felt so bad."
It's what landed 50-year-old substitute teacher Sabrina Pado some time in jail instead of the classroom.
The school day had just started for third graders at Jacobs Road, but police sources say that Pado's drinking had not.
Sources say the substitute was highly intoxicated, which led her to be removed from class and later arrested.
The alcohol was hidden in a coffee thermos.
Parents commend the young children for stepping up when they thought something was wrong.

Naked Came the Stranger..

A recent visit from a real-life Goldilocks left a Naperville Illinois couple wondering, who's been soaking in our hot tub?

The alleged culprit: Brian J. Haney, a 30-year-old Lisle resident who, for reasons unknown, parked his car in the couple's driveway and knocked at their window before stripping naked and submerging himself in their outdoor hot tub, according to Naperville police.

Police quickly fished Haney out of the water, Sgt. Gregg Bell said Friday. A drunken and genuinely perplexed Haney then "asked officers what the problem was," Bell said.

Haney was arrested about 12:35 a.m. Wednesday, after police were summoned to a home on the 1400 block of Larsen Lane, That is in the Mulberry Hill area of the city's northeast side.

Bell said Haney "parked literally in their driveway" before getting out of his vehicle and rapping at one of their windows. The couple, who do not know Haney, called police.

Haney at that point apparently removed all of his clothing and "jumped into their hot tub," which was filled with water, Bell said. "He submerged himself, and our officers had to find him underwater," Bell said.

The officers hauled Haney out of the tub and found his clothes nearby on a deck, Bell said. They took him to the police station and called a tow truck to remove his vehicle from the driveway, he said.

Bell said police charged Haney with misdemeanor criminal trespass to a building and disorderly conduct, although records on file in DuPage County Circuit Court in Wheaton indicated the trespassing charge has been amended to one of attempted criminal damage to property without an owner's consent.

Court records also showed Haney was convicted in 1999 of a misdemeanor charge of possession of marijuana in Wheaton. He was placed on court supervision and ordered to perform community service in that case, according to records.

Haney is free on bail. His arraignment date is pending.

JOKE: A Soviet journalist walked into the hospital

A Soviet journalist walked into the hospital and told the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.

"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."

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JOKE: A Priest and a Nun are Golfing

A priest and a nun are golfing. The priest is up. He swings and misses and says "Oh my god I missed!"

The nun gave him a dirty look and the priest swung again. He missed and said again, "Oh my god I missed!"

The nun then says, "If you say that one more time, God will open up the heavens and strike you with a lightning bolt!"

The priest swings and misses and says, "oh my god I.........missed! Then a lightning bolt comes out of the sky and hits the nun and a booming voice is heard coming from the sky , "Oh my god I missed".

@@@@ Walking On Water @@@@

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