►WHIRLED GNUS◄

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Marika De Florio is using bare breasts to win a feud with her neighbours. The 56-year-old says she is sick and tired of her neighbours' five-year-old grandson driving a loud all-terrain vehicle for hours on her quiet street in Seeley's Bay, near Kingston. So she found a solution under her shirt. De Florio has discovered that if she goes out topless, the boy's horrified grandparents rush the child into the house.

And she said she will continue to go topless every time the child rides the ATV. "It is maddening," she said of the noise. "I'm going mental. I can't breathe and I'm not moving, but I need some peace. I can't believe I did this, but they pulled the kid inside and then called police because of their small-town mentality."

De Florio says the problems with her neighbours, Mike and Nancy Berry, started two years ago when she moved to the area. Leeds OPP, which covers Seeley's Bay, have received complaint calls from both De Florio and the Berrys. She is not breaking the law, because in Canada women are allowed to be topless.

"There is not a criminal charge for that ... not since 1996," said Toronto Police Const. Isabelle Cotton. De Florio says she decided to go topless to solve the problem because police wouldn't do anything about the ATV noise. She said it's the bravest thing she has ever done. "I'll do what I have to to eradicate this problem," she said.

VIDEO: Monkey Shenanigans

Painter puts a new spin on Wisconsin landmark

The good news about Stoughton's new water tower: They spelled the name of the city correctly on one side.

The explanation: The painting contractor that misspelled the name of the city on the other side of the tower is based in Illinois.

The fix: They're working on replacing the missing "t."

Residents who have been watching crews build a $1.2 million water tower for Stoughton since last fall got a laugh this week as a painting contractor screwed up on one of the finishing touches. "Stoughton" became "Stoughon."

Painter Mark Sandmire told the La Crosse Tribune that he discovered the error as he was painting, but he had to finish the paint job anyway. He couldn't paint the correct letters over the wet paint.

Sandmire, a painter for 20 years, told the paper this was the first time he's made such a misspelling in big block letters.

Kim Jennings, the finance manager for Stoughton's utilities department, said Friday the painting contractor should have Stoughton's T in its rightful place by the weekend. The tower will be repainted as soon as the weather cooperates, she said.

Meanwhile, no one seems to be taking offense at the misspelling. "I think most people around here just think it's funny," Jennings said.

The best joke Jennings has heard so far could become the city's tourism slogan. "Come to Stoughton," she said. "You'll fit in like a T."

Why did the 15-year-old girl steal 44 pairs of underwear?

Why did a 15-year-old girl steal 44 pairs of underwear from a St. Paul store?

The teen reportedly posed a question of her own to a police officer: "Do you expect me to wear dirty underwear?"

She was cited for misdemeanor theft. It was the second panty raid at a St. Paul store that showed up in this week's police reports.

Police cited a 47-year-old man on June 10 for shoplifting "numerous pairs" of women's underwear from the Midway Walmart.

The case with the teen girl happened June 19 at the Maryland Avenue Kmart. She stashed the 44 pairs of women's underwear in a tote bag and walked out without paying, police said.

Thirty-one of the pairs were valued at $4.99 and 13 at $3.99, police said.

JOKE: A hooker was visiting her doctor

A hooker was visiting her doctor for a regular
checkup. "Any specific problems you should tell me about," the doctor asked?

"Well, I have noticed lately that if I get even the
tiniest cut, it seems to bleed for hours," she replied.
"Do you think I might be a hemophiliac? "

"Well," the doctor answered, "hemophilia is a genetic disorder and it is more often found in men, but it is possible for a woman to be a hemophiliac. Tell me, how much you lose when you have your period?"

After calculating for a moment the hooker replied, "Oh,about seven or eight hundred dollars, I guess."

Friday, June 25, 2010

Couple tries to sell baby at Wal-Mart for "every day low price"

Salinas California police arrested a couple who they say tried to sell their 6-month-old baby for $25 Tuesday night outside of Walmart.

Police spokesman Officer Lalo Villegas said the father tried to sell the child about 7:20 p.m. outside the store on North Davis Road.
Villegas said Salinas resident Patrick Fousek, 38, had approached two women and asked to use their cell phone. * After he finished his phone call, police said, Fousek asked the women, who had been playing with the baby, if they would like to purchase his daughter for $25.
"They thought he was joking," Villegas said. "They laughed, but he was very persistent. That's when they knew this guy was serious."
Police said Fousek immediately left and went to the car where the mother, Samantha Tomasini, 20, was waiting. As the couple drove away, Villegas said, the two women were able to get the pair's license plate number.
About 1 a.m. Wednesday, Villegas said, police officers tracked down the couple at their residence in the 700 block of East Romie Lane.
Officers said the couple appeared high on methamphetamine and the house was in disarray. A police report also claimed that Tomasini told Child Protective Services, who took the baby, that she had breast-fed the infant while under the influence, Villegas said.
Police arrested Fousek and Tomasini on suspicion of child endangerment and being under the influence of a controlled substance. Fousek, police said, was also on probation. The pair was booked into the Monterey County Jail.
The couple was expected to be in court for an arraignment Friday, at which time they would be assigned public defenders.