This Camel is Ticklish LOL

JOKE: Father Guido Meets the Virgin Mary

Father Guido was a devout and pure man. When he finally appeared at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted him, "Hello, Father Guido. We've been expecting you. Welcome to Heaven! Because you were such a holy man, I'll grant you a wish."

Guido immediately replied, "Well, I have always wanted to meet the Virgin Mother."

Saint Peter took him to Virgin Mary, where Father Guido said, "Mother, I have always been a great admirer of yours. I have studied everything I could about you. I followed your life as best I could. Yet I've always wondered: every painting of you shows you with a slightly sad look. What was it that made you sad?"

She replied, "Honestly? I was hoping for a girl."

�� Got Caption ?? 9/5

Miss Universe China erp

Woman Says Creepy Boss Loved her Feet

A woman claims her former boss at an Atlanta rehab facility is a sexual predator and foot fetishist who uses his job "to leverage himself into unwanted sexual situations with female employees." She claims the boss "would always think of ways to touch her feet," that he bought "lotions and was trying to rub them on (her) feet," that he bought "nail polish and continuously asked her if he could paint her toenails," that he made her "spray him with tanning lotion while he was wearing nothing but his boxer shorts," and that he came over and mowed her lawn, though her husband didn't like it.
Tammy Queen sued Transition House and her former boss, Charles Crutchfield, in Fulton County Superior Court.
Queen says that "Crutchfield was obsessed with Ms. Queen's feet. He would always think of ways to touch her feet. He would try and take her shoes off and ask to massage her feet."
He claimed he was a massage therapist and kept a massage table in his office, and would "frequently ask her if he could give her a massage," Queen says. "Ms Queen always refused."
She claims that Crutchfield "purchased lotions and was trying to rub them on Ms. Queen's feet. He also purchased nail polish and continuously asked her if he could paint her toenails.
"At this point, defendant Crutchfield began threatening Ms. Queen that she would be fired if she did not allow him to put lotion on her feet. He would then just pull her shoes off as she was telling him no. Ms. Queen was frightened that he was going to try to rape her."
The complaint contains a litany of other allegations, many of the unusual, to say the least. Queen, who is married, claims Crutchfield "was obsessed with Ms. Queen's clothing. He would go through the department store circulars and circle the clothes that he thought would look good on Ms. Queen. After circling them, he would go out and buy the clothes and give them to Ms. Queen.
"Shortly after, the clothes began to include lingerie. Ms. Queen would always tell defendant Crutchfield that she did not want the clothes from him and that her husband was getting really upset, but defendant Crutchfield would only buy her even more clothing.
"There were many occasions where defendant Crutchfield would show up at Ms. Queen's house and mow her grass. Even though Ms. Queen told him not to do that, he continued. Ms. Queen's husband had witnessed defendant Crutchfield mowing the lawn."
He bought her jewelry, "some of which was very expensive and eventually included an engagement ring," Queen says. She says she never kept it, but often gave it away "to another employer who wanted it."
Then, she says, he bought her bathing suits, and she refused his requests that she "try them on for him."
She says he touched her "inappropriately" and "would also force Ms. Queen to spray him with tanning lotion while he was wearing nothing but his boxer shorts."
He took photos of her "and pasted them all over a cabinet in his office," the complaint states. "Ms. Queen showed this to Mr. Ed Brown, chief executive officer, but he did nothing about it."
She says he also "was creating a very hostile work environment by bringing prostitutes into his office and having sex with them at THI during the day. Some of the prostitutes that defendant Crutchfield was having sex with were in the THI program and he made them have sex with him to get into the program."
And, she says, when she complained to CEO Brown "about defendant Crutchfield's offensive and inappropriate comments and actions, he told her that if she was not being touched that she should not be alarmed."

Text meant for drug dealer sent to sheriff

A Helena Montana teen sent out a text message last week looking to buy marijuana, only instead of texting the drug dealer, he hit a wrong number.
Who received it?
The Lewis and Clark County sheriff.
The text message said: “Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?”
Sheriff Leo Dutton initially thought someone was playing a joke on him, but quickly realized it was a real request for a drug exchange.
“I’m thinking, ‘Hey this is odd,’ ” Dutton said. “I was looking around to see if there was someone outside my window playing a prank.”
He played along as if it were legitimate. “How much we talking?” Dutton replied to the teen.
The sender said he was close to the dealer’s house, so Dutton got the Missouri River Drug Task Force involved. A detective pretending to be the dealer agreed to meet the sender at a business at the north end of town at 6 p.m. last Wednesday, Dutton said.
Inside the business the detective spotted two male juveniles with an adult male. To ensure it was the right person, the detective called the number three times, Dutton said.
The detective called the teens over and showed them his badge. Dutton said the young boys turned white and their knees began to wobble. The group went outside to discuss the issue further and one of the teens passed out.
“Was it divine intervention or just bad luck?” Dutton said.
The adult male with the group turned out to be the father of one of the teens. He was a big, military-looking guy and he wasn’t happy, Dutton said. The drug detective got both of the teens’ parents involved and decided not to issue any citations.
“When the detective saw there were parents that wanted to be involved he took the right action and I’m really proud of the deputy,” Dutton said. “Trying to buy drugs is a crime, but it’s probably worse that they had to face their parents.”

Intruder in hot tub: 'I just need a hug, and a cup of hot chocolate'

BEAVERTON, Ore. - "Believe it or not, I'm the sheriff of Washington County," the caller said to a 911 operator.
But it wasn't the sheriff; instead, it was Mark Eskelson, a 45-year-old homeless man.

He had climbed over a fence surrounding a hot tub at the Four Seasons Recreation Center in Beaverton early Saturday morning. Eskelson yelled to passersby for help getting out of it, but when no one would respond, he called 911.

The dispatcher asked him if he was sure he didn't need any medical help. Eskelson said he was sure.

"I'm positive. I just need a hug, and a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows would be nice. But I don't think I need any medical help, no," he said.

Eskelson didn't get a hug; instead, he got arrested for trespassing and misusing the 911 system. However, when police checked his phone, they noticed he never called 911, but rather routed after he called 411.

Police said they found marijuana on him and that he appeared to be on drugs at the time.

�� Got Caption ?? 9/4

LOL TEENAGE NIGHTMARE

Its So Hot Corn Popping On the Stalk

ELIZABETHTOWN, Ky. -- A Hardin County farmer says that some ears among his feed corn rows popped on the stalk in a phenomenon that agricultural experts say is associated with irregular rainfall and high heat.

Star Mills farmer Patrick Preston sent a photo of the burst kernels that look like partially popped popcorn to the University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service.

Hardin County Extension agent Doug Shepherd told The News Enterprise he's never seen popped kernels before.

Shepherd said the outer coat of a kernel can explode from heat after the ears are pollinated. Temperatures in corn fields can be 10 degrees higher than in the surrounding area as the plants are producing energy.

Shepherd predicts corn yields will fall below normal this year because of hot weather and spotty rain.