I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
A man was brought before the judge charged with necrophilia. The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the key!"
The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons:
#1, It's none of your damn business;
#2, She was my wife; and.....
#3, I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"
A retired circus chimpanzee has become known as the "Cezanne of simians" after drawing crowds to watch him paint.
Jimmy, 26, has been producing paintings each day for three weeks at the Niteroi Zoo in Brazil.
And plans are now afoot for an exhibition of his works, reports the Daily Telegraph.
Roched Seba, the animal's trainer, said Jimmy had shown no interest in the toys and other diversions that chimpanzees typically enjoy.
In an effort to entertain the chimp, Mr Seba brought some paints to the enclosure three weeks ago - and Jimmy took to them straight away.
For at least 30 minutes a day, so long as he is not distracted by too many onlookers, Jimmy dips his brush into plastic paint containers and uses broad, bold strokes to create his art.
The chimp is not the first animal to wield a paintbrush. An African elephant called Brittany decorates canvases sold at the Milwaukee County Zoo's gift shop to raise revenue.
And three abstract paintings by a chimp named Congo in the 1950s sold for about $25,000 at a 2005 auction in London where works by Renoir and Warhol were unsold.
A US woman is suing a hospital for assault after a doctor circumcised her baby son by mistake.
Vera Delgado's son, Mario Viera, was circumcised without her consent at South Miami Hospital when he was eight days old.
"Oh, my God," Delgado asked the Miami Herald. "How could this happen?"
"I didn't want this for him. I'm opposed to circumcision. They didn't have the right to do it."
Mario was kept in intensive care after he was born to fight an infection. Arriving to visit him one day, his mother noticed a vial by his bed. A nurse told her it was a painkiller given for his circumcision.
The hospital says it is "deeply sorry" and vowed to take steps to prevent the mistake from happening again.
"The baby's circumcision was an unfortunate mistake caused by a misread consent form. As soon as the error was discovered, the doctor and nurses let the family know what had occurred," said a spokesman.
But Ms Delgado says that's not enough. She has filed a lawsuit against the hospital and reported the doctor to police for assault.
"It's a big deal," she said. "In the future, he's going to ask why his dad is one way and he's different."
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" and then the rancher leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives
and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one, right here."
Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?"
"That's simple. By the nail over its stall." Amy
explains very confidently.
Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"
She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."
