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JOKE: An English soldier, fighting in the trenches of World War I

An English soldier, fighting in the trenches of World War I, asked his commanding officer, "Sir, what is the most common German name?"

"Schultz," replied the officer. "Why?"

"Sir, I have an idea! Watch this." He climbed up the trench wall, steadied his rifle, and yelled, "Hey! Schultz!"

"Jawohl?" came the reply and a German soldier looked out of his trench for whomever had called him. Bang! the Englishman shot him. The officer was impressed, but unconvinced this wasn't a fluke.

"Show me again, private," he instructed.

"Yes, sir." The soldier moved down the trench a short way, steadied his rifle, and again called, "Hey! Schultz!"

"Jawohl?" Bang! Another dead enemy. Excited by his discovery, the soldier moved through the trenches, periodically calling out, "Hey! Schultz!" and sure enough: "Jawohl?" Bang! "Jawohl?" Bang! Things were going well until one German soldier realized what was happening. He asked his officer, "Mein, Herr. Vat is a common English name?" "John. Vy?" "Danke, mein Herr!" said the German soldier, steadied his rifle, and cried, "Hey! John!" He waited for an English reply, but heard nothing. "Maybe they didn't hear me," he thought and tried again: "Hey! John!" Again, nothing.

Frustrated, he shouted, "HEY! JOHN!" Came the reply, "That you, Schultz?" "Jawohl?" Bang!

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this is special wtf for friday

Monks undertake 500-mile journey on their knees

A pair of Buddhist monks are to are to make a 500 mile journey on their knees to the religion's holiest shrines in China.

Masters Zhiyuan and Hanliang will spend two months crawling to 99 temples on their way to the Putuo Mountains in eastern China until they reach a statue of Guanyin, the Buddhist goddess of mercy.

Each night the pious pair will sleep under the stars in sleeping bags without even a tent to cover them, say helpers from their home temple in Ganlu, southern China.

"They will crawl and then every third step they will stop and bow as a sign of respect to the goddess," explained one.

JOKE: Harry was stumped..

Harry was delighted when the love of his life accepted his proposal of marriage. Very sensitive about his wooden leg, Harry was so afraid that she wouldn't accept him because of it that he couldn't bring himself to tell her about it, not when he proposed, nor when they picked a date, and not even the day of their wedding. All he could say was, "Darling, I have a big surprise for you!" and she would blush and smile bewitchingly. Finally, the wedding was over and they were at last alone in their hotel room.

"Don't forget, Harry. You promised me a big surprise!" laughed his bride. Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on his stump. "Hmm," she said softly, "that is a surprise! But let me get the K-Y jelly and I'll see what I can do!"

The "Television Is A Drug"

Television is a drug. from Beth Fulton on Vimeo.

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Sleeping at the bus stop mishap