When is the word f*ck acceptable??

  There are only 12 times in history where the F word has been considered acceptable for use.  They are as follows:  

12. That mouse is so fucked up... -- Walt Disney 1964 

11. What the fuck do you mean we are sinking? -- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 

10. What the fuck was that? -- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 

9. Where did all those fucking Indians come from? -- Custer, 1877 

8. Any fucking idiot could understand that. -- Einstein, 1938 

7. It does so fucking look like her! -- Picasso, 1926 

6. How the fuck did you work that out? -- Pythagoras, 126 BC 

5. You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling? -- Michelangelo, 1566 

4. Where the fuck are we? -- Amelia Earhart, 1937 

3. Scattered fucking showers, my ass! -- Noah, 4314 BC 

2. Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out? -- Bill Clinton, 199 and a drum roll............! 

1. Geez, I didn't think they'd get this fucking mad. -- Sadaam Hussein

Old Lady Crying

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out.. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.' 

I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?' 

She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.' 

I said, 'Well, why are you crying?' 

She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m. ' 

I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?' 

She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'

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some may find this objectional..simulated partial nudity but since it's passed Youtube censorship it must be ok lol

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JOKE: THE DARKER SIDE OF WOMEN

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques.She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital.

She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband.

Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition.

The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!'

The woman was feeling so guilty, she broke down and sobbed.

The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Show me what you bought."

Got Caption ?? 4/30