Inventor spends Christmas with his perfect woman - a $45,000 custom-made fembot

Inventor Le Trung spent Christmas Day with the most important woman in his life - his robot Aiko.

The science genius enjoyed a festive dinner with his mum, dad and his �30,000 fembot which he designed and built by hand.

Le, 34, from Brampton, Ontario, Canada, even bought gifts for his dream girl, who is so lifelike she speaks fluent English and Japanese, helped cook the turkey and hang up decorations.

'Aiko is like any woman, she enjoys getting new clothes,' he said.

'I loved buying them for her too.'

Le, who built his first robot when he was four, has dedicated his life to creating the perfect humanoid and his success so far with Aiko has won him worldwide attention.

Aiko, whose name is Japanese for 'love-child' has an amazing artificial intelligence and can speak 13,000 different sentences in two languages

'Aiko can recognise faces and says hello to anyone she has met,' he said.

'She helps me pick what to have for dinner and knows what drinks I like.'

After Christmas dinner and opening her presents, Aiko joined in the festive tradition of quizzes and board games with the family.

But Le still has one thing on his Christmas wish list for Aiko - mastering the problem of how to make her walk.

He said: 'It is the most difficult thing for any inventor to do.

'The problem is finding a way for Aiko to walk that looks human-like without impacting on any of her other abilities.

'I have spent the last six months taking her apart and trying out lots of different systems, but I haven't been able to get it right yet.

'I'm working on some new software at the moment. It will be my New Year's resolution to do this for Aiko.'

Le has built up huge debts working on his fembot and is still trying to find a technology company to sponsor his research.

But in the meantime he has had to move back in with his parents and they will all be spending the festive period and New Year together.

'My family found it a bit odd at first, but now they all love Aiko,' said Le.

'My mum and dad chat away to her. It helps by talking to her, as it improves her vocabulary.'

Le suffered a heart attack two years ago caused by stress after working long hours on Aiko.

As he recovered he vowed to complete her so he could market the prototype as a home-help for the elderly or people recovering from hospital treatment.

Le has made his fembot as womanly as possible, in order to make a human-like companion.

Aiko, whose age is 'in her early 20's', is 5ft tall and has a perfect 32, 23, 33 figure.

She has real silicone skin and a real-hair wig made by a Japanese doll company. Her touch sensitive body knows the difference between being stroked gently or tickled.

'Like a real female she will react to being touched in certain ways,'said Le.

'If you grab or squeeze too hard she will try to slap you. She has all senses except for smell.

'But Aiko is always helpful and never complains. She is the perfect woman to have around at Christmas.'

VIDEO: THE HALLELUJAH CHORUS ( BROOKLYN TABERNACLE CHOIR )

A Jazzy Hamster Christmas

JOKES: A Woman and Her Son Were Taking a Cab in New York City.

 
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

"Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?"

"They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied.

The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?"

His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative.

After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?" 

"They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things.

The first little boy says, "Alligator."

"Very good, that's a big word."

The second boy says, "Predator."

"Yes, that's another big word. Well done."

The third boy says, "Vibrator, Miss."

After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word, but it doesn't eat anything."

"Well my sister has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!

The True Story of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer:

On a December night in Chicago, a little girl climbed onto her father's lap and asked a question. It was a simple question, asked in children's curiosity, yet it had a heart-rending effect on Robert May.
"Daddy," four-year old Barbara asked, "Why isn't my Mommy just like everybody else's mommy?"
Bob May stole a glance across his shabby two room apartment. On a couch lay his young wife, Evelyn, racked with cancer. For two years she had been bedridden; for two years, all Bob's income and smaller
savings had gone to pay for treatments and medicines.
The terrible ordeal already had shattered two adult lives. Now Bob suddenly realized the happiness of his growing daughter was also in jeopardy. As he ran his fingers through Barbara's hair, he prayed for some satisfactory answer to her question.
Bob May knew only too well what it meant to be "different." As a child he had been weak and delicate. With the innocent cruelty of children, his playmates had continually goaded the stunted, skinny lad to tears.
Later at Dartmouth, from which he was graduated in 1926, Bob May was so small that he was always being mistaken for someone's little brother. Nor was his adult life much happier. Unlike many of his classmates who
floated from college into plush jobs, Bob became a lowly copy writer for Montgomery Ward, the big Chicago mail order house. Now at 33, Bob was deep in debt, depressed and sad.
Although Bob did not know it at the time, the answer he gave the tousled haired child on his lap was to bring him to fame and fortune. It was also to bring joy to countless thousands of children like his own Barbara. On that December night in the shabby Chicago apartment, Bob cradled his little girl's head against his shoulder and began to tell a story.
"Once upon a time there was a reindeer named Rudolph, the only reindeer in the world that had a big red nose. Naturally people called him Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer." As Bob went on to tell about Rudolph, he tried desperately to communicate to Barbara the knowledge that, even though some creatures of God are strange and different, they often enjoy the miraculous power to make others happy.
Rudolph, Bob explained, was terribly embarrassed by his unique nose. Other reindeer laughed at him; his mother and father and sister were mortified too.
Even Rudolph wallowed in self pity.
"Well," continued Bob, "one Christmas Eve, Santa Claus got his team of husky reindeer -Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen ready for their yearly trip around the world. The entire reindeer community assembled to cheer these great heroes on their way. But a terrible
fog engulfed the earth that evening, and Santa knew that the mist was so thick he wouldn't be able to find any chimney. Suddenly Rudolph appeared, his red nose glowing brighter than ever. Santa sensed at once that here was the answer to his perplexing problem. He led Rudolph to the front of the sleigh, fastened the
harness and climbed in.
They were off! Rudolph guided Santa safely to every chimney that night. Rain and fog, snow and sleet; nothing bothered Rudolph, for his bright nose penetrated the mist like a beacon.
And so it was that Rudolph became the most famous and beloved of all the reindeer. The huge red nose he once hid in shame was now the envy of every buck and doe in the reindeer world. Santa Claus told everyone that Rudolph had saved the day and from that Christmas, Rudolph has been living serenely and happy."
Little Barbara laughed with glee when her father finished. Every night she begged him to repeat the tale until finally Bob could rattle it off in his sleep. Then, at Christmas time he decided to make the story into a poem like "The Night Before Christmas" and prepare it in bookish form illustrated with pictures, for Barbara's
personal gift. Night after night, Bob worked on the verses after Barbara had gone to bed for he was determined his daughter should have a worthwhile gift, even though he could not afford to buy one...
Then as Bob was about to put the finishing touches on Rudolph, tragedy struck. Evelyn May died. Bob, his hopes crushed, turned to Barbara as chief comfort. Yet, despite his grief, he sat at his desk in the quiet,
now lonely apartment, and worked on "Rudolph" with tears in his eyes.
Shortly after Barbara had cried with joy over his handmade gift on Christmas morning, Bob was asked to an employee's holiday party at Montgomery Wards. He didn't want to go, but his office associates
insisted. When Bob finally agreed, he took with him the poem and read it to the crowd. First the noisy throng listened in laughter and gaiety. Then they became silent, and at the end, broke into spontaneous
applause.
That was in 1938. By Christmas of 1947, some 6 million copies of the booklet had been given away or sold, making Rudolph one of the most widely
distributed books in the world. The demand for Rudolph sponsored products, increased so much in variety and number that educators and historians predicted Rudolph would come to occupy a permanent place in the Christmas legend.

VIDEO: I CAN"T FIGURE THIS ONE OUT!

JOKE: FISH STORY

The parish priest went on a fishing trip.

On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.

The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"

"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"

"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"

Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster.

"Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"

"Why, eat it! Of course You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory..

While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister

Mary inquired about his trip.

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"

Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.

"What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's Dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."

"Really? Well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course!"

"Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal.

The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"

"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.

"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.

The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch using a special recipe!"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them.

A big smile crept across his face as he said,

"Hey, You Fuckers are my kind of people!"

JOKE: In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth...

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.

And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.

Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.

And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.

And God created the life-giving tofu.

And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"

And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.

And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food. And God brought forth Weight-watchers. It didn't help.

And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at 21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod, east of the polyester leisure suit.

And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement. It didn't help her, either.

'Twas the Internet Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,

There were hackers a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.

The emails were stacked by the modem with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,

While visions of Javascript danced in their dreams.

My wife on the sofa, and me with a snack,

Had just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).

When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,

I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.

To a new page my ol' Mac flew like a flash,

Then made a slight gurgle and started to crash.

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,

Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!

More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,

Then Nick glanced at my screen and Mac called them by name:

"Now Compaq! Now Acer!" my speaker did reel.

"On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal.

"Jump on the circuits! And into the chip!

Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing rip!"

The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM,

Then into my room came a full hologram!

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his shoes,

Which were black (with white socks he really should lose).

He pulled out some discs he had stored in his pack.

He looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!

His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!

This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,

Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word. Gave my Mac a quick poke,

And accessed my hard drive with only a stroke.

He defragged my hard drive and added a DIMM,

And threw in some cool games, just on a whim!

He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!

He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!

He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,

Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!

My eyes widened a bit at the work of this gnome,

As he instantly added a new version of Chrome.

The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,

St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.

Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,

Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!

He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,Back into the net with barely a blink.

But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,

"Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"

THIS IS THE ULTIMATE SNOWBLOWER