I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Turtle Girl Baffles Doctors
A girl dubbed the human turtle has baffled medics with an amazing series of tumors linking up across her body.
The tumors - made of massively swollen blood or lymph vessels - give 23-year-old Tian Yunting the appearance of a hard scaly skin.
But in fact, her rare medical condition means that even the slightest knock or jolt could burst the swollen vessels and she would bleed to death.
Tian has even had to give up college because the bus journey over bumpy unmade roads could have killed her. "Even when I got there I couldn't sit down because the hard chairs might burst," she explained.
Doctors in Zhangjiajie, southern China, say the condition is caused by a rare genetic deficiency called angiomas - but have never seen it on such a large scale.
"It can be controlled by regular removal of the tumors but that has to be done in hospital because there will be a lot of bleeding. This is the worst case we've ever seen," said one surgeon.
JOKE: the Barber
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week. " The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your Business" and "Becoming More Successful."
Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Video of woman who claims to have spread AIDS stirs panic
Detroit -- A viral video of a woman claiming to have intentionally infected several Metro Detroit men with the virus that causes AIDS has prompted frantic phone calls to the Detroit Police Department.
The woman's claims are being viewed skeptically by police and health officials, who say it could be a hoax.
Deputy Police Chief James Tolbert said there is a lot of interest in the case from police departments around the country. Although investigators think the video could be a hoax, they are taking the allegations seriously.
"Everybody is concerned that it could be real," said Tolbert on Thursday. "We're giving the case due diligence to try to determine if it's true."
Tolbert said police have received tips from people who said they know who the woman is and that she lives in the city.
In the video posted on the Web site Mediatakeout.com, the unidentified woman claims to have infected more than 500 people since contracting HIV in 1998. Her face is partially concealed by a bandana and the domain for a porn Web site repeatedly flashes on the screen. A clearly visible female who resembles the bandana-wearing woman is featured on a YouTube channel that contains the same name as the porn site.
"I'm pretty upset, so I set out to destroy the world because they haven't came up (sic) with a cure for this (expletive), and now I have to suffer," the woman says.
Tolbert said the department's sex crimes unit has received calls from Metro Detroiters and people from around the country about the woman's disturbing allegations. He said police are investigating whether there are people who were knowingly infected by her.
It is a felony, in Michigan and other states, to knowingly transmit HIV.
Mediatakeout.com's editor, Fred Mwangaguhunga, said the Web site received the video electronically Wednesday. Hours later, a man from Detroit contacted MTO alleging that the woman gave him the HIV virus and that she is from Detroit, said Mwangaguhunga. The man identified the woman in the tape as "Jackie."
Mwangaguhunga said he doesn't believe the woman's story is a hoax because the woman's accusations are so "heinous."
"This is a person admitting to a crime," Mwangaguhunga said of the video, which drew more than 436,000 hits on the MTO Web site and more than 324,000 hits on YouTube by Thursday night. "She's admitted to giving people a death sentence. This is a health emergency."
In 2008, a New York man was charged with making claims that he tampered with baby food to kill black babies. The same man was suspected of making videos that claimed that he gave AIDS to women, and he was later convicted in the baby food case.
University of Detroit Mercy Professor Larry Dubin said since "there is no certainty as to whether the statements made are truthful," it's not clear if she could face charges if police find her.
"If (the video is a hoax), the woman has a bad sense of humor but wouldn't likely have committed any crime," said Dubin. "If truthful, the woman ... should be investigated by the Detroit Police Department to try and determine her identity, and if her statements are true, prosecute her for her criminal conduct."
JOKE: The Lawyer and the Sheep
A lawyer from New York was transferred to a small frontier town during the settlement of the West. After several weeks there he noticed that the town was populated solely by men.
He asked one of the local cowboys, "What do you do when you get the urge for a woman?"
The cowboy replied, "See them thar'sheep up on thet hill. We just go git us one."
"That is disgusting and barbaric!!" replied the lawyer.
After about 3 months the lawyer could not stand it any longer. He decided though, if he was going to do a sheep, he would show these yokels how to do it right. He picked out the prettiest sheep of the bunch, bathed her, put a pink ribbon on her, served her hay on a china plate, dressed her in fine lingerie,and then took the sheep to bed.
After he finished he decided to take his new found lover out for a drink. He wandered into the local saloon with the sheep under his arm.
The piano fell silent, people dropped drinks, and all the cowboys turned, and stared in shocked disbelief.
The lawyer said, "You bunch of hypocrites. You look at me as if I'm some sort of freak for doing what you've been doing all along. I'm just doing it with more class."
"That ain't the problem," replied one cowboy. "That's the sheriff's gal you're with."
We're twinseparable! Happy with his brother, the boy who refused to die
When doctors found that Gabriel was weaker than his brother, with an enlarged heart,and believed he was going to die in the womb, his mother Rebecca Jones had to make a heartbreaking decision.
Doctors told her his death could cause his twin brother to die too before they were born, and that it would be better to end Gabriel's suffering sooner rather than later.
Thriving: Gabriel, right, with his twin brother Ieuan, is now a healthy 12lb 6oz at seven months
Mrs Jones decided to let doctors operate to terminate Gabriel's life.
Firstly they tried to sever his umbilical cord to cut off his blood supply, but the cord was too strong.
They then cut Mrs Jones's placenta in half so that when Gabriel died, it would not affect his twin brother.
But after the operation which was meant to end his life, tiny Gabriel had other ideas.
Although he weighed less than a pound, he put up such a fight for survival that doctors called him Rocky.
Astonishingly, he managed to carry on living in his mother's womb for another five weeks - until the babies were delivered by caesarean section.
Now he and Ieuan are back at home in Stoke - and are so close they are always holding each other's hand.
Mrs Jones, 35, a financial adviser whose husband Mark, 36, is a car salesman, said: "It really is a miracle. Doctors carried out an operation to let Gabriel die - yet he hung on.
"It was unbelievable."
"When I felt him kicking madly the morning after the operation, I suddenly knew that he was going to hang on.
"The doctors couldn't believe it when they could still hear his heartbeat the next morning."
Rebecca Jones: 'It's a miracle'
Mrs Jones learned she was expecting twins when she was ten weeks pregnant. She said: "When they told us we were over the moon."
But at her 20-week scan, doctors had some devastating news. One of the boys was half the size of his brother.
They didn't know what was causing it, but somehow he wasn't getting enough nutrients.
Then doctors said his heart was three times normal size and it was likely he would have a heart attack or a stroke in the womb.
Mrs Jones said: "They told us that if he died, it could be life threatening for his brother.
"We had to decide whether to end his life and let his brother live, or risk them both."
They said it would be impossible to keep him alive afterwards as he was so poorly.
It would be kinder to let him die in the womb with his brother by his side than to die alone after being born.
"That made my mind up for me. I wanted the best thing for him."
At Birmingham Women's Hospital, when Mrs Jones was 25 weeks pregnant, doctors tried to sever Gabriel's umbilical cord to cut off his blood supply and allow him to die.
But the cord was too thick, and they could not cut through it.
As a last resort they divided Mrs Jones's placenta so that when Gabriel died, it would allow Ieuan to survive. Mrs Jones said: "I put my hands on my stomach thinking of Gabriel. It was devastating. I had said my goodbyes."
But the next morning Mrs Jones felt Gabriel kicking. A scan showed his heart was still beating. She said: "No one could quite believe it."
Gabriel hung on, and his enlarged heart started to reduce in size. He also gained weight.
Mrs Jones said: "They thought it may be because the placenta had been divided. Inadvertently, it had evened out the distribution of nutrition between them, allowing Gabriel to survive.'
When Mrs Jones reached 31 weeks doctors carried out a caesarian to deliver the twins. Ieuan weighed 3lb 8oz and Gabriel 1lb 15oz. Both were kept in hospital, but since going home they have thrived. At seven months, Ieuan weighs 15lb and Gabriel 12lb 6oz.
Mrs Jones said: "The boys are so healthy, they have huge appetites too. Ieuan is the noisy one, while Gabriel is always laughing, it's like he's just so happy to be here.
"There is such a strong bond between them.
"They are always holding hands and if one cries, the other reaches out to comfort him."
"Doctors tried to break their bond in the womb, but they just proved it couldn't be broken."
JOKE: Little Johnny and the Bus Driver
One day little Johnny was on the school bus and he was sitting right behind the driver and he was saying to himself "If my daddy was a lion and my mommy was a lion, then I would be a baby lion.If my daddy was a monkey and my mommy was a monkey,then I would be a baby monkey." He kept on talking to himself like this.
After 10 minutes of this, the bus driver had had enough of it and said, "What would happen if your Daddy was a drunk and your Mommy was a whore?"
Little Johnny replied,
"Then I would be a bus driver!"
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