I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Man fitted with artificial left foot on right leg
A pensioner who was fitted with an artificial left foot on his right leg has told how his wife laughed when she first spotted it.
Patrick Morrison, 76, of Bathgate, West Lothian, had the operation at Astley Ainslie Hospital, Edinburgh, after losing a limb. His two left feet were discovered when wife Alexia, 75, took off his protective sock.
Patrick said: "She just burst out laughing. I phoned the hospital and they cut off the bottom of the limb and replaced the foot."
False limb expert Malcolm Griffiths has been sacked by NHS Lothian. If the Health Professions Council decides he is unfit to practice he could be suspended or struck off.
Son's prank ends with mother shooting him
A 21-year-old man was shot by his mother at about 9 p.m. on Thursday.
Milwaukee police said the victim told investigators he thought it would be amusing to frighten his mother as she returned from shopping.
He put on a ski mask and confronted her behind their residence, pretending to rob her.
The 37-year-old female responded by drawing a .357 revolver from her waistband and firing several shots at the victim, striking him at least twice.
He was conveyed to a local hospital by the Milwaukee Fire Department, and his condition is unknown.
The suspect surrendered to the first responding squad and was in custody according to Milwaukee police. Officers also recovered a blue steel revolver with an obliterated serial number from the suspect.
Anthrax contaminated heroin spreads
BRITISH authorities warned drug users that heroin in London was highly likely to be contaminated with anthrax, after a first confirmed case there and following nine deaths in Scotland.
"While public health investigations are ongoing, it must be assumed that all heroin in London carries the risk of anthrax contamination," said Dr. Brian McCloskey, who is director of the Health Protection Agency (HPA) in London.
"Heroin users are advised to cease taking heroin by any route, if at all possible, and to seek help from their local drug treatment services."
McCloskey added that the risk to the general population was "negligible."
Anthrax has been found in 19 heroin users in Scotland since December and nine of those people died, six of them in the Glasgow area, officials said.
The first case in London was confirmed yesterday, and the user was in hospital receiving treatment.
"Similarities to the cases in Scotland suggest that the heroin, or a contaminated cutting agent mixed with the heroin, is the likely source of infection," a spokesman for the HPA said.
Last month, the French health ministry issued a warning about contaminated heroin, noting the Scottish cases and one other case in Germany, and saying the drug could also be circulating in other European countries.
Anthrax is a potentially lethal bacterium that exists naturally in the soil and can also occur among cattle.
It is also, more notoriously, a potential bio-terror weapon.
A piece of a cargo plane came loose and fell onto a mall parking lot
It could have been horrifying, but, thankfully, it wasn't.
A piece of a cargo plane flying into Miami International Airport broke off and fell with a booming crash, landing in a mall parking lot Friday -- without hurting anyone or hitting anything.
The roughly 18-foot, 150-pound hunk of fiberglass ended up in an empty section of the parking lot near Dillard's at Miami International Mall, 1455 NW 107th Ave. in Doral
The piece fell from an Atlas Air Cargo 747 that had taken off in Santiago, Chile, and landed safely at MIA shortly after dropping the part at 11:30 a.m.
People at the mall didn't know what fell from the sky.
``There was a loud thunder and it looked like something that blew off a truck or something,'' said Jorge Tadeo, who had just grabbed coffee at the La Carreta restaurant in the mall and was sitting in a car in the parking lot when the piece fell.
It's unusual for airplane parts to fall from above, said Greg Feich, a former senior investigator with the National Transportation Safety Board.
``It is rare,'' he said. ``But it does happen.''
No one was injured in 2004 after part of a wing of a Federal Express jumbo jet came off and fell into the parking lot of a North Fort Worth, Texas, apartment complex. The plane had taken off from Fort Lauderdale.
In 1990, authorities blamed a chunk of ice from a leaking lavatory for flying into -- and knocking off -- an engine of a Northwest Airlines jet that had taken off from Miami. The plane landed safely in Tampa.
What fell from the Atlas freighter Friday was a piece called a fairing, which covers the mechanism that controls the flaps on the wings.
The fairing ``dislodged'' from the aircraft, a spokesman for Atlas said in a written statement.
``They're probably the least robust part of any airplane,'' said Feich, the former NTSB investigator who is now an international air safety consultant. ``The fairings typically take a lot of abuse because they're made of lighter material.''
It's too early to know what caused the fairing to fall. The break could have been caused by a maintenance oversight, but the part could also have fractured in flight, said Feich, who is not investigating the incident.
The Federal Aviation Administration will examine the fairing -- taken to an Atlas facility in Miami -- and the airplane, and determine if similar problems have been reported with other aircraft, agency spokeswoman Kathleen Bergen said.
Atlas, which is owned by Atlas Air Worldwide Holdings based in Purchase, N.Y., is also reviewing the incident.
``Atlas is grateful that no one was injured and is investigating the matter further,'' the company's statement says.
In 2008, Atlas paid $95,000 to settle an FAA complaint that said a crack in an engine exhaust nozzle on a 747 had been improperly repaired by an unqualified employee in 2006.
By settling the matter, Atlas did not admit or deny violating FAA aircraft maintenance rules.
The falling airplane part on Friday could have caused significant damage, according to Feich. ``When it's that big . . . if it hits a house or goes through the roof or hits somebody in a parking lot, it is a serious event,'' he said.
At the mall, Doral Police Chief Ricardo Gomez was grateful that the part did not fall at a busier shopping time.
``We got lucky today,'' he said. ``If this had been on a weekend, this would have been a real problem.''
Dog-gone carpenter: Golden Retriever likes to hang out on the roof
MANKATO, Minn. -- It's the slow time of year for the construction business, but when your public relations representative is a Golden Retriever named Hayley, jobs for DeMars Construction in Mankato seem to come a little easier.
No short of unusual, Hayley brings to the table a skill unlike any other dog-gone carpenter.
Hayley is able to climb up a ladder as well as any other on the team.
"She's one of the guys, part of the crew," said owner Max DeMars, who by the way is not directly related to the author of this story.
And like the crew, Hayley too can handle a two-by-four.
Since she was a pup, Hayley, now 10 years old, follows the crew wherever they go.
"One day we were up on the roof and there she was," explained DeMars. "Saying what about me."
After hundreds of jobs over the years, she's got a pretty good handle on climbing up the ladder, even when nobody else is up on the roof.
One cold January day her solo trip nearly got her in some hot water.
The crew was working on an addition for the Hosanna Lutheran Church in Mankato when a neighbor spotted her on top of the building.
The neighbor called police and a short time later an officer arrived.
"The police officer came up and wanted to take her to the pound 'cause he thought it was just a stray dog," laughed DeMars.
It took a bit of convincing, but Hayley showed the officer her trick and she was off the hook.
The construction dog has been back at it ever since, as she will likely help secure another gig with the kind of rooftop advertising she helped to bring this time around.
JOKE: A tourist goes to the pole, and meets an Eskimo.
"During the summer you don't have any nights, and during the winter you don't have any days... What do you do during that endless summer day?" he asks.
"We go fishing, and make love to our women," the Eskimo replies.
The tourist thinks a while, and asks another question:
"Then, what do you do during that endless winter night?"
Eskimo grins:
"We don't go fishing..."
Saturday, February 6, 2010
VIDEO: BRUCE THE FUNNY DOG
| Important Things with Demetri Martin | ||||
| Attention - Bruce the Funny Dog | ||||
| ||||
APPLICATION TO LIVE IN WEST VIRGINIA
APPLICATION TO LIVE IN WEST VIRGINIA
Name:______________ Nickname:____________ CB Handle:____________
Address: (RFD):_________________________________________________
Daddy: (If unknown attach list of three suspects):_____________________
Mamma:_______________________________
Neck Shade: [] Light Red [] Medium Red [] Dark Red
Number of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper:______ Lower:________
Name of Pickup Owned:______________ Height of truck:__________
Truck Equipped with: [] Gun Rack [] 4-Wheel Drive [] Confederate Flag [] Toothpick Holder [] 8-Track [] Load of Wood [] Hijacker Shocks [] Mud-grip Tires [] Big Dog [] Racoon Hide [] Dual CB Antenna [] Fuzz Buster [] Spitoon [] Camper Top [] Mag Wheels [] Air Horns [] Mud Flaps
Number of Empty Beer Cans on Floor Board of Pickup:_________
Bumper Stickers: [] Eat More Possum [] Peanut Butter [] Honk if You Love Jesus [] Wave if You're Horny [] Redman Chewing Tobacco
Define the following (Must be 90% correct): [] Grits [] Muscadine [] Cobbler [] Tater [] Goobers [] Brogans [] Fatback [] Pig Skins [] Collards [] Redeye Gravy [] Tote [] Pinto Beans [] Sidemeat [] Sawmill Gravy [] Poke [] Turnip Salit [] Chitlins [] Soppin Syrup [] Cracker [] Shit-on-Shingle [] Ramps
Favorite Vocalist: [] Donna Fargo [] Conway Twitty [] Loretta Lynn [] Hank Williams [] Elvis [] Slim Whitman [] Tammy Wynette [] Porter Wagoner [] Johnny Cash [] Willie Nelson [] George Jones [] Box Car Willie
Favorite Recreation: [] Square Dancin' [] Possum Huntin' [] Skinny Dippin' [] Craw Daddin' [] Gospel Singin' [] 4-Wheelin' [] Drankin' [] Bull Chip Throwin' [] Blue Grass Conventions [] Spitten' backy [] Other
Weapons Owned: [] Deer Rifle [] Bird Gun [] Varmit Rifle [] Sawed-off Shotgun [] Tire Iron [] Pick Handle [] Log Chain [] Power (chain) saw
Number of Hound Dogs:___ Type: [] Blue Tick [] Black & Tan [] Beagle
Emblem: [] John Deere [] CAT [] Budweiser [] McCullock Chain Saw [] PBR [] NAPA [] Coors [] Skoals
Number of Weeks Unemployed:_____ Number of Welfare Checks Received:_____
Number of Dependents (Legal):______ (Claimed):______
Memberships: [] KKK [] NRA [] Moose [] PTL Club [] VFW [] American Legion [] Bass Club [] United Sons/Daughters of the Confederacy
Length of Left Leg:______ Length of Right Leg:______
Does your truck contain some part painted the official state color, Primer Red?______
How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your front yard?______
How many kitchen appliances (working or not) will you keep on your front porch?______
Will you be a part of the West Virginia Intelligentsia with a measurable IQ?______
Do you wear mostly double knit polyester pants with snags?______
Do you own any shoes, if so how many? ______ What year did you last purchase shoes? ______
Are you married to any of the following? [] Sister [] Cousin [] Sow Do you know her name? ______
Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?______
Can you sign your name and get the spelling right every time?______
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend?______
Can you count: Past 10 with your shoes on? ______ To 21 with your fly up? ______
Medical Information: Do you have at least 2 of the following: [] BO [] Crabs [] Head Lice [] Bad Breath [] Scabies [] Trench Mouth [] Runny Nose
Do you know any words that have more than 4 letters?______
Have you EVER had more than one bath in a week? ______
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