SNOW USE: AND YOU THINK YOU GOT SNOW?!

Camel Tow: Business Is a "Snatch" for Towing Company With Quirky Name

Mike Christopher is the 45-year-old entrepreneur of Camel Towing.

How did you come up with the name Camel Towing?

Christopher: A buddy of mine from high school and I have been talking about this for ten years. Finally, we were sitting around drinking one night and I said, 'What the hell, I'm going to do it!' Now, in thirteen weeks, I've gone from not having a penny to my name to having one tow truck and now three trucks. I'm just a dumb ass who worked as a teamster truck driver for 25 years until I got hurt on the job three years ago. I don't know why other people haven't come up with this idea. They're just too ball-less to do it, I guess.

So it takes balls to be a Camel Tow?

You got that right. People love it. We've got our own Facebook page. The other day I'm driving down the highway and this guy sees my truck and he whips a U-turn and follows me all the way to my shop. It's Tony Twist (former St. Louis Blues player). He shook my hand and said it was the greatest name he ever heard of.

Do you offer any discounts?

We already offer the cheapest rates in town -- $45 hookup fee and $3 a mile. But I'm thinking of running a promotion for ladies where I give them a ten percent discount if they show me their camel toe. But be careful ladies. If you've got a moose-knuckle, I charge a 25 percent surcharge.

Moose-knuckle?

That's a fat girl with a camel toe. No one wants to see that!

And you'll make the call?

My god, yes. The worst thing that could happen is I drive around town and have pretty ladies show me their cooch. What the hell? Hey, dude, I'm a sick fuck. I don't care. If you want to be a bear, be a grizzly. Fuck it. Go for it. We also offer another special.

Uhm, what's that?

If you drink too much at the bar I'll come pick you and your car up and drive you home. I'll even take two of your friends -- cause the most I can have in my cab is four people. And I'll do that for $75 for up to 10 miles. Tell me, how come I'm the only dumb ass to come up with that idea? I offer this service with fourteen bars. They love me. I'm like John Ratzenberger (or George Wendt) when I walk into the bar. Instead of saying 'Norm!' they scream 'Camel Tow!'

I see online that there are several other towing companies in the nation that go by Camel Tow or a similar name. Are you a franchise. Or do you hoe the road all by your lonesome?

I'm on my own. I've got it incorporated in Missouri. But, yeah, there are four other states that have a Camel Towing or something like it. Way I see it, that leaves 45 other states I need to lock down.

The back of your business cards read: "We come lickety split." Are you talking towing here or something else?

Absolutely. There are a million of them I could use. Call us if you're in a hairy situation, a tight jam, a pinch, a slippery spot. We'll pull you out. I could go on and on. Hell, I should have worked for Hallmark.

Can I have a photographer contact you for a photo?

Yeah, but I'd have to wash my truck first. It's filthy and no one wants to see a dirty Camel Tow. Tell you what, check out my website and Facebook. There are a ton of photos there. This is all about name recognition. Before now you might have had someone else in mind for towing. But now I guarantee you are going to think of Camel Tow next time you need a tow. You can't not think of Camel Tow!

http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/dailyrft/2010/02/camel_towing_st_louis.php?page=1

JOKE: a young lady decided that she wanted to get rich quick

A knockout young lady decided that she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.

When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12-inch erection, and he was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"

The old man replied, "There are just two things I can't stand - The sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber!"

JOKE: An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S.

An Arab diplomat visiting the U.S. for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American Foods (french fries, cheeses, anchovies, etc.), and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and time again Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed.

"Abdul, you bastard son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir.

"A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul. "White man sit on well."

MY CAPTION FOR THIS PHOTO..GOT ONE TO ADD?

BECAUSE CHINA IS CLOSER THAT YOU THINK

You Could Be a Redneck If You..Get Married at Bass Pro Shop

Couples wed, renew vows at Bass Pro Shops

Bass Pro Shops hosted "Will You Marry Me?" wedding ceremonies Saturday at the Savannah Georgia Mall.

The couples that wed included Melissa and Brandon Davis, the contest's grand prize winners, along side of Greg and Connie Burdeshaw and Kevin and Tonia Fadden.

Morning radio co-hosts Country 106.9 Mike Miller and Laura Anderson stood as best man and matron of honor, as family and friends circled around the couples who wed in front of the huge bass tank in Bass Pro Shops. The ceremony also included live music from local artist Michelle Aspen.

As the contest winners, Melissa and Brandon Davis received a wedding package that included wedding bands, wedding cake, a romantic dinner on the Savannah waterfront, a honeymoon night at a Savannah hotel and more, according to Country 106.9.

COMPUTER PROBLEM..MOUSE JAMMED IN PRINTER

Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.

Customer Service: What is wrong with it?

Caller : Mouse is jammed.

Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don't have a mouse you fool!

Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?... I will send a picture.

VIDEO: Remember this Great Vid? Here's the Story Behind it

Laughing quads are marking a decade of mischief.

The Mathias quads still laugh a lot. Not in perfect unison, but with the undeniable joy of youngsters in a house full of love and animals and look-alike siblings who hatch mischief together.

The identical quadruplets, who giggled their way into the hearts of millions as babies on "America's Funniest Home Videos," are about to turn 10 (on Feb. 16).

Grace, Emily, Mary Claire and Anna are still having fun. The famous video featured the four babies sprawled in bed around their mother, Allison, and cackling at the funny faces made by the man behind the camera, dad Steve.

Years later, people still can't get enough of it. One YouTube version has received nearly a million hits in the past year alone.

JOKE: the Duck Hunter and the Game Warden

A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to "enforce the laws pending." He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, "Looks like you've had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?"

The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's a Washington state duck. Do you have a Washington state hunting license?"

The hunter pulled out his wallet and calmly showed the warden a Washington state hunting license. The warden took a second duck, inserted his finger in the bird's rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, "This here's an Idaho duck. Do you have an Idaho state hunting license?"

The hunter, a bit put out, produced an Idaho state hunting license. The warden took a third duck, conducted the same finger test, and said, "This here's an Oregon state duck. Do you have an Oregon state hunting license?"

Once again, only this time more aggravated, the hunter produced the appropriate license. The warden, a little miffed at having struck out, handed the ducks back to the hunter and said, "You've got all of these licenses, just where the hell are you from?"

The hunter dropped his pants, bent over, and said "You're so smart, YOU tell ME!"

JOKE: A Newfie was going to Toronto on the Airplane

A Newfie was going to Toronto on the Airplane and started talking
to an Mainlander.

Newfie: Lord Tundrin' Geeses Bye, What do you do for a livin'?
Mainlander: Well, I'm a Psychoanalyst.
Newfie: Psychoanalyst, What the Heck is that?
Mainlander: It's hard to explain so I'll give you an example.

Mainlander: Do you own a Fishtank?
Newfie: Yes, I got a tank.
Mainlander: Well, I bet you like fish then?
Newfie: Yeah, I like fish.
Mainlander: Well, if you like fish then you probably like the water.
Newfie: Yeah, I love the water.
Mainlander: Well, if you like the water, then you probably like to
go to the beach.
Newfie: I love to go the beach.
Mainlander: I bet you like to look at girls in bikinis while you're
at the beach.
Newfie: You betcha.
Mainlander: And as you're looking at girls on the beach I bet you think
about taking them home and having your way with them.
Newfie: Gosh, How did you know that?
Mainlander: Well, that's what a Psychoanalyst is.
Newfie: Oh.

The Newfie was goin back to St. John's and started to talk to another
Mainlander on the plane.

Newfie: Hi, How ya doin?
Mainlander: Oh, fine I guess.
Newfie: I'm a Psychoanalyst.
Mainlander: You're a Psychoanalyst?
Newfie: Yeah, let me explain it to ya.

Newfie: Do you own a fishtank?
Mainlander: No.
Newfie: What are ya!? Some kind of faggot?