I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
The first mate was found to be drunk one day and that day it happened to be the captain's turn to write in the ship's log so he wrote :
The first mate was drunk today.
He begged and pleaded to the captain to remove that entry but the captain argued that once an entry was made in the company's log it couldn't be deleted. The first mate decided to get even.
The next time it when it was the first mate's turn to write in the log, he wrote:
The captain was sober today.
A Des Moines man is accused of unwittingly leaving his boss a voice-mail message documenting a drug deal in which he was involved.
State records indicate that Joseph Stankiewicz was on medical leave from NAPA Auto Parts in November when he called the company's human resources director, Carolyn Miller, and left a message on her voice-mail system.
When Stankiewicz finished his message, he allegedly failed to disconnect his phone properly and Miller's voice mail continued to record everything in the vicinity of Stankiewicz's phone.
The recording captured a freewheeling, profanity-laced conversation between two men who NAPA officials concluded were Stankiewicz and a man named Donny. On the tape, the two men discuss money that one of the men owed the other for prescription narcotics. The two also discuss another trade involving 22 pills of OxyContin or Percocet, two addictive painkillers.
Miller listened to her voice mail the day after Stankiewicz left his message. After discussing the matter with the company's legal counsel, NAPA Auto Parts officials decided to fire Stankiewicz for violating a company policy that prohibits the illicit sale of drugs.
Stankiewicz said Thursday that his doctor had been prescribing him Percocet and he has a friend named Donny. But he said that while the first part of the recording was the message he left for Miller, the second part of the message involving the drug deal didn't include him.
"I don't have a clue where they got the rest of that message," he said. "And, you know, I'd have to be pretty stupid not to hang up my phone."
At a recent state hearing dealing with his request for unemployment benefits, Stankiewicz testified that Des Moines Police Detective Rahn Bjornson investigated the matter and determined there was no evidence of wrongdoing. Stankiewicz argued that NAPA officials wanted to fire him because of a recent workers' compensation claim that he filed.
Administrative Law Judge Steven Wise denied Stankiewicz's request for unemployment benefits, saying he was absolutely convinced Stankiewicz was the man heard on the recording.
"The voice sounds the same, and he begins the conversation by telling Donny he had to call his job and if (human resources) called back, to be quiet while he talked to her," Wise observed.
The manager of an apartment building on Milwaukee's west side beat one of his tenants to death after becoming angry because the tenant locked himself out of his apartment, according to a criminal complaint filed Thursday.
According to the complaint, Jimmie Lamar Richardson, 52, is charged with felony murder in the death of Richard Bohannon.
Bohannon, 52, was found early Feb. 8 in the boiler room of the building at 3017 W. Highland Blvd.
An autopsy found that Bohannon died Feb. 15 from multiple blunt force injuries, including a fractured skull and fractured ribs.
A witness told police Bohannon was intoxicated the afternoon of Feb. 7 and had lost the keys to his apartment. When Richardson was called to the second floor of the building to assist him he went into a rage, throwing Bohannon against a wall and down a flight of stairs before kicking him down a second flight of stairs.
Richardson was in the Milwaukee County Jail Thursday. His bail was set at $50,000.
( "pfffffft" equals sticking your tongue between your lips and blowing air. A pseudo Bronx cheer or raspberry.)
A man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun on his shoulder. He walks up the the bar and sets on down. He proceeds to order a beer for himself and for the little Leprechaun.
Well, the guy and the Leprechaun drink about two beers when finally the Leprechaun jumps down off the guy's shoulder, trots down the bar and stands in front of a rather large construction worker. He looks at the construction worker and goes, "pfffffft" right to the big guy's face.
Well the Leprechaun trots on back on hops back onto his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is a little ticked, but decides to shine on this breach of manners.
After another beer and a half though, the Leprechaun hops down and again goes in front of the construction worker and goes, "pffffffft" to the construction workers face.
The Leprechaun trots on back and hops back on his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is visibly bothered, but decides not to do anything again.
Well sure enough, the guy and the Leprechaun drink another beer. Soon enough the Leprechaun hops down, trots in front of the construction worker and goes,"pffffffft" to his face. Well, this time the big guy has had enough of the little guy's manners and walks over to the fellow with the Leprechaun, again on his shoulder.
The construction worker tells this fella, "If your little friend does that again, I'm gonna cut off his little dick!" The fellow tells the big guy "Well Leprechauns don't have dicks." The big guy asks, "Well how does he go pee?" The fellow with the Leprechaun on his shoulder looks at the big guy and goes, "pffffffft."
Who are the most attractive people in the world? Americans are 'most attractive' people in the world, poll finds.
Americans are the most attractive looking people in the world, according to a new survey.
The United States, home to George Clooney and Jessica Simpson, came out on top in a poll of more than 5,000 globe-trotting Britons.
The top 10:
1.U.S.
2.Brazil
3.Spain
4.Australia
5.Italy
6.Sweden
7.England
8.India
9.France
10.Canada
A burglar could be Australia's dumbest crook after leaving a trail of extraordinary clues along his crime spree route. Within an hour of being charged and bailed over other break-ins, Bendigo man Andrew Bawden, 36, was back in business, busting into cars and houses and robbing offices and a cathedral.
But his one-man crime wave came unstuck when he dropped his police charge sheet at one crime scene. Two hours later he dropped the DVD of his police interview at another.
"You get crooks sometimes who leave one thing that's stupid. Both things are extraordinary," Bendigo police Sgt Brendon Murphy said. "From the police perspective it's quite good. We appreciate people who leave this evidence for us." But Sgt Murphy said it was important to remember the trauma faced by Bawden's victims before ineptitude ended the spree. "We're just thankful this numbskull's been nipped in the bud," he said.
The extensive charge sheet - 24 various offences - was found beside a laundry hamper. Police think Bawden dropped it in a panicked attempt to climb out a window after being disturbed in mid-burglary. The DVD was discovered beside broken louvres from a break and enter attempt.
"The people thought - 'What's a DVD police interview doing on the ground here'?" Sgt Murphy said. "It's a small plastic case and a disc with writing on it. It clearly identifies who it is and that it's a police interview."
Bawden, of Golden Square, pleaded guilty to about 30 counts. He was remanded in custody for sentence on March 31.
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm, then have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the gays' delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Brad exclaims. "All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy."
The nurse says, "He's happy now. But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his a$$."
Small condoms should be labelled "large" because men are sensitive about size, a study has found. The study by researchers in the US said that men needed to be encouraged to get the right sized condom and called on condom makers to deal with the delicate question of penis size.
Bill Yarber, of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction in Indiana, said that widespread pornography may have distorted the male self-image, making it harder for some men to accept that they have a less than large penis.
"The old saying is, women don't have penis envy, men do," he said.
He called on condom makers to rename their smallest size "large", and then move on to "extra large" for medium size and so on. "Certainly, don't label them as large, medium or extra small," he said.
A gay couple is driving along one afternoon, and while stopped at a stop sign, they are rear-ended by a big semi.
Furiously, the guy in the passenger side throws his purse on the seat, gets out of the car, goes back to the truck and starts banging on the door. The truck driver opens the door and the gay guy standing there with his hands on his hips says, "I'm gonna sue your ass, Buddy!"
The truck driver laughs and says, "Blow me!" The gay guy stands there for a second, then his eyes get really big and his face lights up. He runs back to the car and says excitedly to his lover, "You won't believe this! He wants to settle out of court!"
