the new Supermarket

A new supermarket opened recently. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled
steaks and brats.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

VIDEO: Big Tow Truck Problem

Four-year-old abandoned as couple rob jewelry store

Philadelphia police are hunting for a couple who grabbed over $100,000 worth of jewellery from a South Street store. They slashed a store clerk, then left behind a young child during their getaway.

Authorities say the man and woman with a four-year-old child were shopping for rings at "Platinum and Ice," on the 600 block of South Street, at around 3pm Saturday.

But police say when the clerk turned his back, the couple grabbed a jewellery tray and ran out of the store.

The store owner gave chase, but the suspect pulled a knife and slashed him across his face and neck.

South Detectives captain Laurence Nodiff said: "(They) robbed the store, then fled, dragging the child by the hand for 2� blocks, then lacerated the store owner's facial-neck area, and then abandoned the child on the 700 block of Rodman Street."

The boy is in the care of DHS. The store owner needed 12 stitches.

VIDEO: ATTENTION CAT LOVERS..THE STATIC CAT

A True Story: Bird Thieves

A True Story

Bill owns a company that manufactures
and installs car wash systems.
Bills company installed
a car wash system in Frederick, Md.
Now, understand that these
are complete systems,
including the money changer and
money taking machines.

The problem started when the new owner
complained to Bill that he
was losing significant amounts
of money from his coin machines each week.

He went as far as to accuse Bill's
employees of having a key
to the boxes and ripping him off.
Bill just couldn't believe his
people would do that,
so they setup a camera to catch
the thief in action.
Well, they did catch him on film!



That's a bird sitting on the change
slot of the machine.


The bird had to go down into the machine,
and back up inside to get to the money!



That's three quarters he has in his beak!
Another amazing thing is that it
was not just one bird --
there were several working together.
Once they identified the thieves,
they found over $4000 in quarters on
the roof of the car wash and
more under a nearby tree.




And you thought you heard of
everything by now!

And to think the phrase 'bird brain'
is associated with being dumb.
Not these birds.

ty Patty

Oregon man exercises free speech rights by giving cops the finger

When Robert J. Ekas decided to exercise his right to free speech, he didn't open his mouth.

He hoisted his middle finger.

His single-digit protests, aimed at Clackamas County sheriff's deputies last year, resulted in a verbal showdowns, traffic tickets and, ultimately, a federal lawsuit.

Giving a police officer the finger may be a rude and ill-advised gesture, but it is not against the law, legal experts say.

"The U.S. Supreme Court has consistently held that speech may not be prohibited simply because some may find it offensive," said Ira P. Robbins, a law professor from American University in Washington, D.C. "Virtually every time someone is arrested for this, assuming there's no other criminal behavior ... the case is either dismissed before trial or the person is convicted at trial and wins on appeal."

Ekas, who represents himself, sued the Clackamas County Sheriff's Office and three of its employees, seeking corrective action and unspecified damages. Assistant County Counsel Edward S. McGlone III declined comment on the lawsuit.

Ekas, 46, a retired Silicon Valley systems analyst turned mathematician who lives in the Clackamas area, claims the traffic stops were acts of retaliation that violated his First and Fourth Amendment rights. He also wants the court to rule that the Sheriff's Office fails to discipline employees who "chill citizens' ... free speech rights."

Ekas gave the finger to a deputy in July 2007 while driving near Clackamas Town Center, according to the lawsuit. With the deputy in pursuit, Ekas said he opened his sunroof and again extended a middle finger. The deputy turned on his flashing lights. Ekas stopped and was cited for an illegal lane change and improper display of license plates. He was acquitted of the charges.

In August 2007, Ekas flipped off another deputy. Ekas again was detained but not issued a citation. He claims he was harassed and intimidated by the deputy and a sergeant who was dispatched after Ekas requested a supervisor be sent to the scene.

Ekas said his actions are a political statement and a protest of police violence.

"They kill unarmed people. That bothers me," Ekas said of police officers. He cited the deaths of James P. Chasse Jr. and Aaron Campbell at the hands of Portland police and the fatal shooting of Fouad Kaady by Clackamas County officers.

"What I am expressing is the right to dissent. That is to say, 'Look, the policies that you've implemented ... the things you've done in our community are offensive to me. Here's my response to that offense,'" Ekas said.

"I did it because I have the right to do it," Ekas said. "We all have that right, and we all need to test it. Otherwise we'll lose it."

Ekas's method of expressing himself has a long history.

The ancient Romans called it "digitus impudicus" -- the impudent finger.

Police have been known to retaliate with traffic tickets or making arrests for disorderly conduct, but criminal charges are routinely dismissed. Criminal law "generally aims to protect persons, property, or the state from serious harm. But use of the middle finger simply does not raise these concerns in most situations," Robbins wrote in a law review article, "Digitus Impudicus: The Middle Finger and the Law."

A Pittsburgh man, David Hackbart, won a $50,000 settlement last year after being cited for disorderly conduct for flipping off an officer. The charge was "retaliatory" and violated his constitutional rights, a federal judge ruled.

The officer's "response to Hackbart's exercise of his First Amendment right" was to charge him with a crime, said U.S. District Judge David Cercone.

In West Linn, Police Chief Terry Timeus took a more diplomatic approach.

After a man's run-ins with police escalated from giving officers the finger to following them on patrol, accusing them of retaliation and shining his headlights on them during traffic stops, Timeus stepped in to try to defuse the situation.

The police chief met with the man and told him the pattern of confrontation and harassment "isn't going to accomplish anything."

Reached at his home, the man said he suffers from anxiety and depression and asked not to be identified. He acknowledged his history of confrontation and grievances with police but said he wanted to move on.

"Chief Timeus has made a difference," the man said, "and I don't want to jeopardize that."

JOKE: A fellow was getting ready to tee off by himself on the first hole

A fellow was getting ready to tee off by himself on the first hole when a tall, stately, grey haired gentleman approached and asked if he could join him. The first man said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first two holes. The tall, stately gentleman said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"

The first fellow said he was a pretty good player, and that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms, thinking we're pretty even so far, so why not? The stately gentleman played "straight & true" golf the rest of the round and won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off the 18th green, and while counting his $80, the tall, stately golfer confessed that he was the teaching pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.

The first fellow revealed that he was the parish priest. The pro got all flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The priest said, "Well, you could come to mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."

The fiancee formula: the best time to propose

Worried your boyfriend is never going to propose? Then buy him a calculator.
Mathematicians have come up with a 'fiancee formula' that allows men to work out the perfect time to pop the question.
All he needs is the age he would first consider marrying and his cut-off point - and the equation does the rest.
Maths professor Anthony Dooley said: 'Applying maths to matters of the heart is always dangerous. In life you are dealing with emotions and have to think much harder.

But if you want to work out the right moment to start getting serious, this gives you a mathematical framework.'
The formula is based on a statistical technique known as optimal stopping - or the best time to do something.

Professor Dooley's colleague, Professor Bruce Brown, said the formula was a 'reasonable approach' unwittingly followed by many young men, including himself.
Writing in the third person, he said: 'As for the author, he can tell you that, looking back and doing some calculations, he did follow the marriage solution, albeit by accident, and it has worked out perfectly.'
The formula was devised with men in mind but could equally apply to women, including those uncertain about whether to accept a proposal. It could also help nervous men calculate when to avoid the ultimate commitment.

But those who find they have passed the optimal age for proposing should not panic - simply pop the question to the next good prospect who comes along.
Professor Dooley, of New South Wales University in Sydney, added: 'Probability isn't the most romantic basis for a marriage but while the formula won't fit everyone it does seem to fit a lot of couples, whether through accident or design.'

Jesus picture only item to survive house fire

The day after Raymond Kennedy's home in Greensboro, North Carolina, burned down he says a firefighter pulled him inside what use to be his living room and told him to look around. Kennedy's first response was, "I looked around and said, 'Everything is destroyed' and he said, 'Look at that picture of Jesus.'"

On an outside wall of the home, right next to the front door hung a paper picture of Jesus Christ. The frame was covered in soot, the glass covering the picture was covered in soot and broken away, but the picture remained intact. Kennedy was shocked when he finally noticed it.

"It was extraordinary to me. I mean, I got cold chills on the back of my neck. I was just like, 'I cannot believe that picture did not burn,'" Kennedy said.

Kennedy was surprised because all the other photos burned behind the glass before it broke away. "Doesn't make any sense. A piece of paper in over 1,000 degree heat would just disentegrate. All the other ones did. All the other pictures in here, there is nothing left," he said.

Stewardesses Fight..Pilot Kick Everyone Off Plane

Bad weather wasn't the only thing slowing travelers down Thursday in New York. Passengers on a Delta Connection flight out of Rochester were delayed after two female flight attendants got into a fight on board the plane.
Dozens of frustrated passengers were forced off the flight and had to make alternative travel plans.
"Apparently, they got into a fist fight on the plane and the pilot decided to kick everybody off the plane," said one air traveler. "They told us we had to get off the plane because stewardesses were fighting."
Dozens of passengers on the Delta flight from Rochester to Atlanta were left to scramble to make other plans.
"You had someone who was getting married and was supposed to be in Cancun. There was a couple that was supposed to be on a cruise ship. Non-refundable. They left crying," said another traveler.
The flight was a Delta connector flight operated by Pinnacle Airlines. A spokesman for Pinnacle says the flight attendants will be kept off-duty, pending an investigation.
"The acts described are not acceptable," said Joe Williams, a spokesman for Memphis-based Pinnacle.
Hours after the flight, some passengers were till trying to find a way to get to where they had to go. But with a storm looming, some passengers said they knew there was a chance they'd be delayed, but not for this reason.
A spokesman described the fight as a "little" argument that started as the plane was returning to the gate after a passenger complained of panic attacks.