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VIDEO: Fred and Mary got married but can't afford a honeymoon

Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon. So they go back to Fred's parents' home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She says, "No."

And Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think. Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his Mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She says, "No, they're not."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "I don't care what you think. Eat your lunch and go to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks his Mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His Mom says, "No, they are not up."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom, finally exasperated, says, "Okay, tell me what you think."

He says, "Last night Fred came to my room for some Vaseline and I think he took my super glue."

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Batman and Robin's Gay? Apparently Just Rumors

GOTHAM CITY

Over 50 years after psychologist Fredric Wertham first proposed the idea that masked superheroes Batman and Robin may actually be homosexual, questions still swirl around the sexual preference of the caped crusaders. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder continue to claim they're "just friends."

"Why people would think Robin and I are gay has always been beyond me," said Batman, polishing his hard rubber codpiece.

Robin, reached in the Bat Sauna, concurred. "Batman and I have a long history of fighting crime together, but in a very rugged, manly way," he said. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to slip into my lo-rise kelly green briefs and torso-hugging yellow-laced bodice."

In addition to being linked to each other, Batman and Robin have been separately linked to several others among the Gotham City glitterati, including the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, Egghead and Alfred the butler.

"Really, is there anyone in that city who's not gay?" questioned a mild-mannered reporter for the Metropolis Daily Planet who asked not to be identified.

A spokesman for the Joker disagreed, noting that "just because someone dresses head to toe in purple does not make him a homosexual," adding however that his client will admit to being "fabulous."

Four years ago Batwoman came out of the closet, and masked superhero insiders predicted that the announcement would lead to a similar disclosure from her fellow crime fighters - but that declaration never came.

The revelation about Batwoman, meanwhile, sent shock waves throughout the superhero community back in 2006, where it was widely believed that the only gay super heroines were Catwoman, Wonder Woman, She-Hulk, Black Widow, Supergirl, the Scarlet Witch and Chastity Bono.

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JOKE: Her physician recommended Dr. Wang, a well-known Chinese sex therapist

Her personal physician recommended Dr. Wang, a well-known Chinese sex therapist. So she went and saw him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Wang took one look at her and said, "okay, take off aw your crows."   She quickly disrobed and stood naked before him.   "Now, " said Dr. Wang, "get dow on knees and craw reery, reery, fass away from me to the other side of room."   Having done that Dr. Wang said, "okay, now turn around and craw reery, reery fass to me." Once again she obliged.   Dr. Wang slowly shook his head, "okay, your probrem vaywe, vaywe bad, you have Ed Zachary Disease.....worse case I ever see....that why you not have dates."   Confused, the woman asked, "What is Ed Zachary Disease?"   Dr. Wang replied, "It when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass." 

JOKE: why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?

"So let me get this straight," the prosecutor says to the defendant, "you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man."

"That's correct," says the defendant.

"Upon which," continues the prosecutor, "you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her."

"That's correct," says the defendant.

"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your wife and not her lover," asked the prosecutor?

The defendant replies, "It was easier than having to shoot a different man everyday!"