Tuesday, November 16, 2010

JOKE: THE TATTOO PARLOR

TATTOO PARLOR
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks the tattoo artist, "Do you do custom work?"

"Why of course," says the tattoo artist!

"Good," she says. "I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh. And I want them both looking at my tootie."

"No problem," says the artist. "Strip from the waist down and get up on the table." After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. "That doesn't look like them," she complains loudly!

"Oh yes it does," the artist says indignantly, "and I can prove it." With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk. "Well, what do you think," the woman asks, spreading her legs apart for the drunk man? "Do you know who these men are?"

The drunks studies the tattoos for a couple of seconds and says, "I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!"
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VIDEO: Listening Pigs!

VIDEO: Doggy Workout!

Herd of sheep jump to death before impending slaughter


A herd of sheep being led to slaughter in Turkey have instead ended their lives by leaping off a cliff.

Herder Mejmet Gana was guiding his 52 sheep across a mountain range when suddenly one of the sheep turned to the edge of a cliff and jumped, quickly followed by the rest.


The sheep were being taken to a local market where they were going to be sold for for the upcoming Eid al-Adha Muslim holiday that involves animal sacrifice. The sheep carcasses were found at the bottom of the cliff.

But it's not the first time the European country has witnessed an unprovoked mass sheep suicide. In 2005, 1500 sheep jumped off a cliff in Turkey. The first 450 were killed, but the rest survived by landing on the dead bodies of the herd below.

VIDEO: a piano playing frog

JOKE: A Goth was window shopping with his girlfriend

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A Goth was window shopping with his girlfriend when she spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry store window. "Wow, I'd sure love to have that!" she said.

"No problem, babe," he said, throwing a brick through the glass and grabbing the ring. A few blocks later, she admired a black leather jacket in another shop window.

"What I'd give to own that!" she said.

"Sure thing, honey," he said, throwing another brick through the window and snatching the coat. Soon they passed a Mercedes dealership.

"I'd do anything for one of those!" she said, pointing to a convertible.

"Damn it, baby!" cried the Goth. "Do you think I'm made of bricks?!"

Monday, November 15, 2010

Gamer makes a cool half-million by selling virtual property

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Think the rent is, in fact, too damn high? Then stay as far away from online world Entropia Universe as possible, because its real estate prices will drive you insane.
Take, for instance, what just went down on Planet Calypso, where one of Entropia's wealthier players has sold off his interests in a "resort asteroid" for an eye-popping $635,000.
The seller is Jon Jacobs, also known as the character 'Neverdie'. He originally purchased the asteroid in 2005 -- eventually converting it into the extravagant resort 'Club Neverdie' -- for the then-record price of $100,000. For those keeping score, that's a gain of over $500,000 in just five years. In nerdier terms, that's an ROI of 535%. Match that, Citibank.

Washington Cops Having Sex on Duty

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A Snohomish County sheriff's sergeant who allegedly left his two-way radio on while having sex in his patrol car has been placed on paid administrative leave while the department investigates the incident.

The 20-year veteran was on duty early Sept. 19 when dispatchers and others heard a 10-second radio transmission of what sounded like a woman moaning. A dispatcher asked the officer to check his mike. The sergeant responded that everything was OK.

Rebecca Hover, spokeswoman for the sheriff's office, said the department is conducting an internal investigation into allegations that a 45-year-old sergeant "engaged in an inappropriate romantic relationship while on duty."

She emphasized that it is not a criminal investigation but an investigation of alleged misconduct.

The investigation is expected to be completed in two to three weeks, Hover said.

The allegations follow two other incidents in the Puget Sound region of officers having sex while on duty and raise questions about what the appropriate discipline should be.

A case involving two police officers in Mill Creek resulted in both officers resigning in the spring. A separate incident in Bellevue resulted in an officer receiving a demotion but being allowed to remain on the force.

"It's never OK to have sex while on duty when you're a cop," said Sue Quinn, past president of the National Association for Civilian Oversight of Law Enforcement. She called it a "betrayal and abuse of power" by those the community invests with authority.

But what punishment for such an offense should be is less clear, said Pierce Murphy, community ombudsman for the Boise Police Department.

"It's a serious lapse of judgment and of their duty to the public who is paying their salary," Murphy said. And while it should be treated seriously, he said officer discipline should depend on the seriousness of the allegations, whether a sexual incident was consensual, whether it was with another officer or with a member of the public over whom the police had power, and the officer's record and years of service.

"They have an obligation to be available, doing their job to keep us safe. If they're engaged in sex, they're highly unavailable," Murphy said.

In Mill Creek, the Police Department turned over to an independent investigator in February allegations that two officers were meeting for sex while on duty. The investigator concluded that the two "engaged in sexual activity while on duty approximately 10 times ... even though they understood their behavior was inappropriate."

Police Chief Bob Crannell said he told the two that a disciplinary hearing could find them guilty of conduct unbecoming an officer and neglect of duty. They chose to resign in April, he said.

"I think the public has the expectation that police are ethical and moral, and they are sworn to uphold the law and act as a model for the community," Crannell said.

The Bellevue case involved an officer and a dispatcher who allegedly had sex in the Police Department several times in 2008.

Police Chief Linda Pillo demoted the officer in 2009 but allowed him to remain on the force. She said he was in an administrative job, not a first responder, and that public safety was not compromised. She also said that all of the encounters occurred after his shift.

"It was absolutely unacceptable, but does that make him a bad officer?" she asked.

VIDEO: Kenyan pick-up truck overloaded with passengers flips

Sunday, November 14, 2010

JOKE: the Kid and the Farmer

A farmer was sitting on his front porch when the neighbor boy walked past holding his hands cupped tightly together. "Wha'cha got?" asked the farmer.

"Got me a bullfrog!" says the kid.

"Wha'cha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.

"Gonna take it to town and trade it for a bull!"

"Fat chance," thought the farmer, but within an hour, the kid was back, leading a fine bull. The next day the kid walked by again, his hands cupped tightly together.

"Wha'cha got?" asked the farmer.

"Got me a horsefly!" says the kid.

"Wha'cha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.

"Gonna take it to town and trade it for a horse!"

"Fat chance," thought the farmer, but within an hour, the kid was back, leading a fine stallion. The third day the kid walked by, his hands again cupped tightly together.

"Wha'cha got?" asked the farmer. "Got me some pussy willows!" he said. The farmer yelled into the farmhouse, "Martha, don't wait lunch. I gotta drive the neighbor kid !"

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