Clang Clang Clang Went The Frying Pan

A Kansas man accused of attempting to rape an elderly Hutchinson woman in her home on Saturday spent several days in the hospital after the woman knocked him unconscious with a frying pan.

Kevin Scott Funderburk, 25, made a first appearance Tuesday via video camera before Reno County Magistrate Randy McEwen. Funderburk was jailed on suspicion of attempted rape, aggravated battery, criminal restraint and criminal damage to property.

When asked if he had anything to say about his bond, Funderburk, who was wearing a neck brace, said "No" and McEwen left his bond at $55,200.

"He talked his way into the residence of the victim, a 71-year-old female, under the guise he was homeless and had nowhere to go," said detective Sgt. John Moore. "He was drunk and said he didn't want trouble with the police."

In the home, he then allegedly attacked the woman, held her down and attempted to rape her, Moore said. The woman fought him off, however. During the struggle, she was reportedly injured and property reportedly damaged, resulting in the other potential charges.

"She was fighting for her life," Moore said. "She beat him down with a frying pan."

Police responded to the home on East Fourth Avenue shortly before 7 a.m. Saturday.

"When we arrived, he was unconscious and lying in his own vomit in the back of the house," Moore said. "He was in the hospital in Wichita over the weekend and they stapled his scalp."

Funderburk, who last had a Newton address, was homeless and had been staying with different people in Hutchinson, Moore said. He is also being held on a warrant seeking extradition to California; though, Moore didn't know on what charges.

Drunk driver wedges car between two buildings

A drunk driver has emerged unscathed from his car after flipping it up in the air and ending up wedged between two houses 5ft above the ground. The California crash happened at 1.15am local time, when the young driver - who had been drinking illegally - ignored a traffic signal in San Pedro, Los Angeles.

Spinning out of control, the driver hit a kerb before crashing through a fence. The car gained so much momentum that it flew through the air, landing at an improbable angle with the front and back ends jammed into the two houses. Neither the driver or his passenger sustained any serious injuries.

Homeowner Monica Allen has told how she and her husband thought they were experiencing an earthquake until she walked into her living room and saw a car hanging out of the building. Luckily, the second home, in which the rear of the car was wedged, was empty as it had just been sold.

But the previous owners estimate about $100,000 (�63,000) worth of damage to the property. Before the Ford Fusion was removed, the authorities had to consult on how best to lower the car without causing further damage to the houses

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JOKE: Wendy the prostitute

Wendy was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know.

One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes, and Wendy was among them. The police took them outside and lined them up along the driveway when, suddenly, Wendy's grandma came by.

Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?"

Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Wendy told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes.

When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry."

The policeman fainted.

Refrigerator thrown from building strikes, kills man

Police investigate the death of man that had a refrigerator fall on him, next to a building located at 811 N. 22 St.

A 33-year-old man who was part of a crew renovating an apartment on Milwaukee's west side was killed Tuesday when he was struck by a refrigerator his co-workers had thrown from the building, a Milwaukee police spokeswoman said.

Initial reports indicated the refrigerator fell from a fourth-floor porch to the ground, where the man was struck.

The incident occurred about 9:40 a.m. at 805-11 N. 22nd St., police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz said. The workers who threw the refrigerator said they yelled down to the ground but didn't hear a response, so they thought the area was clear, she said.

The victim apparently stepped into the path of the refrigerator as it fell, Schwartz said. No one is in custody.

"It appears right now just to be a tragic accident," Schwartz said.

The victim died at the scene. His name has not been released. He worked for Wiegand Enterprises, which manages the building, according to an e-mail from the company's president, Rick Wiegand.

The victim "has been a dedicated and valued member of the Wiegand Enterprises team for many years," Wiegand said in his e-mail. "As a family man with a warm heart and zest for life, we are all heartbroken with his loss."

The refrigerator fell into a narrow gangway between the four-story brick building and a chain-link fence. Police tape blocked off the gangway Tuesday afternoon. A white, full-size refrigerator with a bent door was standing upright in the gangway.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration is investigating the incident, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Department of Labor said.

Substitute teacher wins $95M lottery, will quit job and buy RV

A substitute teacher from Fort Mohave walked into the Arizona Lottery's headquarters Monday and put two weeks of rumors, speculation and excitement to rest, claiming a $95.3 million Powerball prize.

Sheila Verke, 64, held the single prize-winning ticket, but her identity had been a mystery since the Dec. 1 drawing.

She accepted a jackpot check in person Monday, accompanied by friends and financial advisers.

She took the prize as a lump sum of $49.9 million rather than a 30-year annuity for the full prize.

"This will make so many changes in my own life and the lives of my family," she said.

She said she expects to bank the money and live on the interest. She quit her job and plans to buy an RV and begin touring the country.

Verke bought the ticket at a Safeway store in Fort Mohave, just south of Bullhead City in western Arizona. She said she regularly played the same numbers, a combination of family birthdays, for the past six years.

The announcement that a single winning Powerball ticket had been sold in Fort Mohave caused a sensation in the small community on the Colorado River.

When no one stepped forward in the first week to claim the prize, rumors began to swirl. Perhaps the winner was not at least 21 years old, the minimum legal age to play the Lottery in Arizona. Perhaps a winter visitor had bought the winning ticket, stuck it away and forgot about it.

The rumors were put to rest Monday. Verke said she didn't come forward sooner because she was busy working out a plan for the money.

Safeway gets $25,000 for selling the winning ticket. Company officials said Monday that $5,000 of that is being donated to the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Colorado River, which serves Bullhead City, Fort Mohave, and Laughlin, Nev.

"We had so many rumors it's unreal," said John Jenkins, assistant manager of the Safeway store that sold the winning ticket. "It's so nice that it has come out and so nice that it is someone local."

Verke said she moved to Arizona from Montana in 2000 and doesn't have plans to move out of Fort Mohave. She said she is divorced, with two sons and five grandchildren.

She had to bite her tongue a few times since the announcement that the winning ticket was sold in her hometown, especially when she stopped in to Safeway. Store employees had been asking their regular Lottery players if they had won or knew the winner. Verke told only a select group of family, friends and her financial advisers.

Arizona Lottery Executive Director Jeff Hatch-Miller called the prize a "major, major win" for Verke and told her he hoped it would be a "blessing in her life."

The winning numbers were 5-10-11-12-20, and Powerball was No. 2.

JOKE: The Cigar Addict

"Doc, ya gotta help me: I'm addicted to cigars!" The doctor was familiar with this compulsive patient, so he recommended an unusual form of aversion therapy.

"Tonight, when you go to bed, unwrap one cigar and stick it up your butt. Then tomorrow morning, remove it, rewrap it, and place it with all your others, so you can't tell which it is. Not knowing, you won't dare smoke any of them."

"Thanks, Doc. I'll try it." Three weeks later, the same guy was back.

"What's wrong? Didn't my recommendation work?" asked the doctor.

"Well, it kinda worked, Doc."

"What does that mean?" asked the doctor.

"Now I don't smoke cigars, but I can't go to sleep without a cigar up my a$s!"

Drunk Atlanta Tourist, Got A$$ Kicked in Brawl With Female Miami Beach Cop

This mug shot tells only half the story, but it tells it clearly: Sterling Roderick Wilde, a 26-year-old Atlanta tourist allegedly found sleeping in a South Beach hotel hallway, tangled with the wrong lady cop.

According to her police report, Miami Beach Police Officer Lisa LoBello reported to the fourth floor of the Tides on Ocean Drive around 11 p.m. Friday, November 19, after hotel employees complained of a drunk guy sleeping on the floor. Hotel security had taken his wallet and figured out that Wilde was actually booked at the W Hotel ten blocks north.

LoBello woke Wilde and told him she would escort him downstairs to get a cab to the W, according to the report. He flashed his middle finger and told her: "Fuck you, bitch. Get the fuck off of me." As the cop tried to help Wilde off the floor, she claimed, he "began hitting [her] legs and my arms with both open hands." She tried to pull him to the elevator, and Wilde, "screaming and irate," began punching her.

LoBello -- who is 5-foot-5 and 130 pounds -- says she was unable to cuff the 180-pound Wilde, who landed several punches to her head and "began to rip out [her] hair by the ponytail and pull [her] down to the floor." LoBello punched Wilde in the face, and they grappled on the floor. He tried to tear the radio from her shoulder while continuing to pull her hair.

"Finally able to get his hands out of my hair," LoBello later wrote, she sprayed Wilde with mace and put one cuff on him. When he continued to resist, she "delivered a closed fist punch to the left side of his face," which certainly shows in that mug shot, and finished handcuffing him.

After backup arrive, Wilde was treated by paramedics, dragged "kicking and screaming" into a police vehicle, and transported to jail. Wilde was charged with felony counts of battery on a police officer, resisting arrest with violence, and depriving an officer of a radio. He's free on $16,500 bond.

LoBello "sustained serious injuries to her neck," according to MBPD spokesperson Juan Sanchez, and is on medical leave. "All department policy and protocols were followed with regards to use of force," he says.

A Wrestling Move or Sexual Assault?

Preston Hill, a Buchanan High wrestler suspended for a wrestling move he made on a freshman teammate, with mother Kirsten Hill, shows medals he has won in wrestling since the fourth grade. The senior was supposed to be the captain of his Buchanan High wrestling team this year.

Fresno court case alarms wrestling community It's called the "butt drag," in which a wrestler grabs a rival's butt cheek and puts fingers in the anus to get leverage. The move is widely used at matches around the country and has been around for decades.

But now it is at the center of an uproar after Buchanan High wrestler Preston Hill was expelled and charged with a sex crime for using it on a teammate.

"It just doesn't make sense," said Preston's father, Darren Hill. "His coaches taught him the move when he was in middle school. All the wrestlers use it and my son did it in front of his coaches at a school-sponsored event."

Clovis police, however, say 17-year-old Preston went too far. A police report says that at a July 15 practice, he molested a Buchanan freshman teammate by inserting his fingers deep into the boy's anus, causing him pain.

The boy's father, Ross Rice, said Preston is a bully who targeted his 14-year-old son because he stood up to Preston in an earlier encounter. Now, Preston's friends are teasing the boy at school, Rice said. The Bee is not naming Rice's son because of the allegation that he is the victim of a sex crime.

"Preston took it beyond a simple wrestling move," Rice said. "He crossed the line."

The Fresno County District Attorney's Office has charged Preston with sexual battery. His trial begins Thursday in Fresno County Superior Court.

The case has some scratching their heads.

Former Fresno State coach Dennis DeLiddo said the butt drag is a common move used by wrestlers all the time. "I've never heard this move used as being ugly or dirty," he said.

On Friday, DeLiddo was at a wrestling tournament in Las Vegas. During a telephone interview, he said, "a coach just yelled out butt drag" to encourage one of his wrestlers to use it.

District Attorney Elizabeth Egan declined to comment. But Michael Idiart, a former assistant Fresno County district attorney, said he would not have filed criminal charges because wrestlers know that once they get on the mat, they are consenting to pain -- and sometimes embarrassment.

"If this is a legitimate and recognized wrestling move, the DA has no case," he said.

But if bullying had occurred, Idiart said, school officials should address it in a reasonable fashion: "Kids do stupid things. They shouldn't have their lives ruined."

Clovis Unified School District officials said they couldn't comment because of laws that protect minors.

Philly Airport Search Raises Many Questions

At what point does an airport search step over the line?

How about when they start going through your checks, and the police call your husband, suspicious you were clearing out the bank account?

That's the complaint leveled by Kathy Parker, a 43-year-old Elkton, Md., woman, who was flying out of Philadelphia International Airport on Aug. 8.

She says she was heading to Charlotte, N.C., for work that Sunday night - she's a business support manager for a large bank - and was selected for a more in-depth search after she passed through the metal detectors at Gate B around 5:15 p.m.

A female Transportation Security Administration officer wanded her and patted her down, she says. Then she was walked over to where other TSA officers were searching her bags.

"Everything in my purse was out, including my wallet and my checkbook. I had two prescriptions in there. One was diet pills. This was embarrassing. A TSA officer said, 'Hey, I've always been curious about these. Do they work?'

"I was just so taken aback, I said, 'Yeah.' "

What happened next, she says, was more than embarrassing. It was infuriating.

That same screener started emptying her wallet. "He was taking out the receipts and looking at them," she said.

"I understand that TSA is tasked with strengthening national security but [it] surely does not need to know what I purchased at Kohl's or Wal-Mart," she wrote in her complaint, which she sent me last week.

She says she asked what he was looking for and he replied, "Razor blades." She wondered, "Wouldn't that have shown up on the metal detector?"

In a side pocket she had tucked a deposit slip and seven checks made out to her and her husband, worth about $8,000.

Her thought: "Oh, my God, this is none of his business."

Two Philadelphia police officers joined at least four TSA officers who had gathered around her. After conferring with the TSA screeners, one of the Philadelphia officers told her he was there because her checks were numbered sequentially, which she says they were not.

"It's an indication you've embezzled these checks," she says the police officer told her. He also told her she appeared nervous. She hadn't before that moment, she says.

She protested when the officer started to walk away with the checks. "That's my money," she remembers saying. The officer's reply? "It's not your money."

At this point she told the officers that she had a good explanation for the checks, but questioned whether she had to tell them.

"The police officer said if you don't tell me, you can tell the D.A."

So she explained that she and her husband had been on vacation, that they'd accumulated some hefty checks, and that she was headed to her bank's headquarters, where she intended to deposit them.

She gave police her husband's cell-phone number - he was at her mother's with their children and missed their call.

Thirty minutes after the police became involved, they decided to let her collect her belongings and board her plane.

"I was shaking," she says. "I was almost in tears."

When she got home, her husband of 20 years, John Parker, a self-employed plastics broker, said the police had called and told him that they'd suspected "a divorce situation" and that Kathy Parker was trying to empty their bank account. He set them straight.

"I was so humiliated," she said.

What happened sounds to me like a violation of a TSA policy that went into effect Sept. 1, after the American Civil Liberties Union sued the agency on behalf of the former campaign treasurer of presidential candidate Ron Paul.

In that case, Steven Bierfeldt was detained after screeners at Lambert-St. Louis International Airport discovered he was carrying about $4,700 in cash. He challenged their request that he explain where his money came from.

The new TSA directive reads: "Screening may not be conducted to detect evidence of crimes unrelated to transportation security." If evidence of a crime is discovered, then TSA agents are instructed to contact the appropriate law enforcement agency.

So just what evidence made them treat Kathy Parker like a criminal?

Lt. Frank Vanore, a Philadelphia police spokesman, said that TSA personnel had called his officers, who found the checks to be "almost sequential." They were "just checking to make sure there was nothing fraudulent," he said. "They were wondering what the story was. The officer got it cleared up."

TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis said the reason Parker was selected for in-depth screening was that her actions at the airport had aroused the suspicion of a behavior detection officer, and that she continued to act "as if she feared discovery."

"We need to ascertain whether fear of discovery is due to the fact a person is concealing a threatening item, be it a dangerous weapon or some kind of explosive," Davis said. "If the search is complete, and shows individuals not to be a threat to the aircraft or fellow passengers, they are free to go."

But why call police? Davis said, "Because her behavior escalated."

When Parker first told me her story, she didn't know the initial TSA officer was a behavior specialist. She told me he peppered her with questions about her trip as she knelt to consolidate three bags into two, and suddenly realized that her shirt was revealing too much for her comfort. When the man then volunteered to examine her belongings, she felt "it was just strange."

"When they decided to search me, there was nothing wrong with my behavior," she said. "I was trying to keep a positive demeanor about everything. My behavior didn't escalate. I did ask questions."

Vic Walczak, legal director of the Pennsylvania ACLU, called what happened to Parker "preposterous" and a violation of the Fourth Amendment, which protects people from unreasonable searches.

"I think they clearly crossed the line," he said, adding that no one had probable cause to examine her checks.

"None of this makes any sense except as a fishing expedition, which under the U.S. Constitution is not allowed. They can't rummage through her personal life. I'm not surprised this woman is outraged. She should be."

In that case, Steven Bierfeldt was detained after screeners at Lambert-St. Louis International Airport discovered he was carrying about $4,700 in cash. He challenged their request that he explain where his money came from.

The new TSA directive reads: "Screening may not be conducted to detect evidence of crimes unrelated to transportation security." If evidence of a crime is discovered, then TSA agents are instructed to contact the appropriate law enforcement agency.

So just what evidence made them treat Kathy Parker like a criminal?

Lt. Frank Vanore, a Philadelphia police spokesman, said that TSA personnel had called his officers, who found the checks to be "almost sequential." They were "just checking to make sure there was nothing fraudulent," he said. "They were wondering what the story was. The officer got it cleared up."

TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis said the reason Parker was selected for in-depth screening was that her actions at the airport had aroused the suspicion of a behavior detection officer, and that she continued to act "as if she feared discovery."

"We need to ascertain whether fear of discovery is due to the fact a person is concealing a threatening item, be it a dangerous weapon or some kind of explosive," Davis said. "If the search is complete, and shows individuals not to be a threat to the aircraft or fellow passengers, they are free to go."

But why call police? Davis said, "Because her behavior escalated."

When Parker first told me her story, she didn't know the initial TSA officer was a behavior specialist. She told me he peppered her with questions about her trip as she knelt to consolidate three bags into two, and suddenly realized that her shirt was revealing too much for her comfort. When the man then volunteered to examine her belongings, she felt "it was just strange."

"When they decided to search me, there was nothing wrong with my behavior," she said. "I was trying to keep a positive demeanor about everything. My behavior didn't escalate. I did ask questions."

Vic Walczak, legal director of the Pennsylvania ACLU, called what happened to Parker "preposterous" and a violation of the Fourth Amendment, which protects people from unreasonable searches.

"I think they clearly crossed the line," he said, adding that no one had probable cause to examine her checks.

"None of this makes any sense except as a fishing expedition, which under the U.S. Constitution is not allowed. They can't rummage through her personal life. I'm not surprised this woman is outraged. She should be."