Sunday, May 1, 2011

JOKE: A guy walks into a bar



hamster

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.

"That is amazing!" says the bartender and gives him a beer.

"If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees.

The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings.

The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer.

A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees.

"Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."

"Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist."

Saturday, April 30, 2011

After Opening Four Doors, Dog Submerges Herself In Bathtub To Survive Fire

Dog Survives 6 Hours Inside Home Destroyed By Fire


GREENVILLE COUNTY, S.C. -- A dog survived a raging house fire for six hours by hiding in a water-filled bathtub, according to firefighters.
The house that burned was in the relatively new Beaumont subdivision off State Park Road near Mt. Creek Baptist Church.

Piedmont Park Fire Capt. Duane Brock said the fire was extremely difficult to extinguish because of the size of the house and the intensity of the flames.
Firefighters were able to rescue the dog, a 1-year-old Belgian Malinois named Mia, from the basement of the burning home, according to Brock.
Mia's owner, Chris Brumby, was amazed at how the dog survived, but said he knew she was smart.
"She acts like a human for most things," Brumby said. "And that kind of showed it. She knew where to go and hide."
He said Mia was able to get to a bathtub on the lowest level of the house, where she waited as firefighters doused the home with water. As the water ran down into the basement, it filled the bathtub and soaked Mia, keeping her safe from flames, Brock said.


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Brumby said the dog has learned how to open doors throughout the house, and that she had to open four doors to get to the bathtub where she was found.
He said when firefighters brought her out of the house, she was wet, dazed and covered in soot.
"She literally had steam coming off of her," he said.
Brumby, his wife Codi and their two children were out to dinner when the fire started.
He said the house was a total loss, but that they were relieved that the dog survived.
"That was a pretty special moment for us, because she's definitely part of the family," he said.
About 30 firefighters from the Piedmont Park, Parker, Lake Cunningham and Taylors Fire Departments battled the fire for two hours before getting the flames under control, Brock said. Fire crews spent the next several hours putting out hot spots and cleaning up, he said.
Heat and smoke in the structure was far too widespread for internal access.
An EMS unit was called to the fire, which is routine, but since no one besides Mia was home, there were no injuries, Brock said.
Brock said investigators believe flames started in the attic, but they don't know how.
Fire investigators returned to the scene Friday morning, trying to find what sparked the flames.


btw the home's owner is a brother of a Multiply friend. It was the friend who made me aware of this amazing dog..a link to his blog is here: http://tapewormz.multiply.com/journal/item/1709/Mia_The_Wonderdog_6_Hours_in_a_burning_house?replies_read=10

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JOKE: COWBOY LEARNIN'

A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning.

"Congratulations! " says the clerk.

Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the "Bridal" then?"

"Naw, thanks," says the cowboy. "I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."
cowboy

Got Caption ?? 5/1

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When Mozart passed away


music notes






When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.  Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.  When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, 'Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.'  He listened a while longer, and said, 'There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling.' So the magistrate kept listening; 'There's the Seventh...the Sixth...the Fifth...'  Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on him; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered, 'My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing.'

When is the word f*ck acceptable??



  There are only 12 times in history where the F word has been considered acceptable for use.  They are as follows:  

12. That mouse is so fucked up... -- Walt Disney 1964 

11. What the fuck do you mean we are sinking? -- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912 

10. What the fuck was that? -- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 

9. Where did all those fucking Indians come from? -- Custer, 1877 

8. Any fucking idiot could understand that. -- Einstein, 1938 

7. It does so fucking look like her! -- Picasso, 1926 

6. How the fuck did you work that out? -- Pythagoras, 126 BC 

5. You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling? -- Michelangelo, 1566 

4. Where the fuck are we? -- Amelia Earhart, 1937 

3. Scattered fucking showers, my ass! -- Noah, 4314 BC 

2. Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out? -- Bill Clinton, 199 and a drum roll............! 

1. Geez, I didn't think they'd get this fucking mad. -- Sadaam Hussein

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