Thursday, November 3, 2011

JOKE: The Nordakota Cow

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Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota  (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).   He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk. When he grabs a teat and pulls....the cow farts.   Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.   Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.   When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens."   Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts...   Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota, didn't yah?"   Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip... replies, "Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?"   Sven says, "My wife is from Nordakota."

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GOT CAPTION? 11/4

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GOT CAPTION? 11/4 v.2.0

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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

JOKE: Father John's Saturday night bath

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.   Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.   The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.  
'Oh, sister,' said the young nun dreamily, 'I've been saved.'   'Saved? And how did that come about?' asked the old nun.   'Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.'   'Did he now?' said the old nun evenly.   Sister Magdalene continued, 'And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.'   'Is that a fact?' said the old nun even more evenly.   'At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved.'   'That wicked old b******' said the old nun. 'He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years !

GOT CAPTION? 11/3

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GOT CAPTION? 11/3 v.2.0

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