Monday, November 7, 2011

VIDEO: The beauty of pollination ..It Doesn't Get Any Better Nature Lovers

GOT CAPTION? 11/8

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GOT CAPTION? 11/8 v.2.0

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VIDEO: Like Baby, Like Dog

Get a Room? Naw..Man Steals Police Car for Sexual Tryst


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A 59-year-old man was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail after he admitted to stealing a Palm Beach County Sheriff's vehicle so he could have intimate time with a woman, a probable cause affidavit says.

Alexander Pratt and 53-year-old Clara Pearson, both of Lake Worth, were arrested Thursday night on charges of grand theft auto.

A sheriff's probable cause affidavit says that plainclothes deputies from the sheriff's auto theft task force parked their green Honda Civic in front of a Quick Stop on South Dixie Highway. The Civic, which is owned by the sheriff's department and has video, audio and GPS surveillance, was left unlocked while running.

Pratt and Pearson got into the car and backed the vehicle out onto Dixie Highway heading southbound toward Lantana Road. Spotted by deputies, they followed the Civic and conducted a traffic stop at Lantana Road and Interstate 95, the affidavit says.

Pearson and Pratt were taken into custody and Pratt told deputies he knew the car was stolen but didn't regret it because he wanted to "go to have intimate relations with Pearson," the affidavit says.


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Sunday, November 6, 2011

JOKE: The Cowboy and the Congressman


A cowboy named Bud was tending his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in  California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.  The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?” 

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"        

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.         
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .             
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.  He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

"That's right.  Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.  

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"          

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"          

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.               

"Wow!  That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"           

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.  "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked.  You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.   This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.


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