"I've got some good news and some bad news" the doctor says. "What's the bad news," asked the patient?
"The bad news is that unfortunately you've only got 3 months to live."
The patient is taken back, "What's the good news then Doctor?"
The doctor points over to the secretary at the front desk, "You see that blonde with the big breasts, tight ass and legs that go all the way up to heaven?" The patient shakes his head and the doctor replies, "I'm doing her."
Months after military medics from New Mexico made the brave decision to pull a live explosive out of a young Marine, the guardsmen shared their story.
A crew of New Mexico National Guardsmen, well-practiced in medevacking wounded troops off the battlefield in Afghanistan, made a decision that few can fathom.
"Each of us on the aircraft had to agree to take the patient on," Spc. Mark Edens said.
Their patient, Lance Cpl. Winder Perez, had a foot-long rocket-propelled grenade embedded in his left side. It could have exploded at any time.
"There was quite a bit of alarm among the crew at the time, as you can imagine," Capt. Kevin Doo said.
Perez needed to be flown to the nearest medical unit, which was around 65 miles away.
"If the RPG exploded, you know Spc. Edens and Sgt. Hardesty are working on the patient directly over him, shrapnel alone would have been devastating. And about 18 inches behind where the patient is lying is over 300 gallons of jet aviation fuel and it would have been catastrophic," Doo said.
When the chopper landed, a Navy trauma nurse ordered his staff to stay away. The young Marine was still fully conscious.
"I took him by the hand he said, 'Where is everybody?' and I said, 'You have an RPG in your leg and everybody is staying away from you. I promise you I will not leave you until that thing is out of your leg,'" Lt. Cmdr. James Gennari said.
Rescue crews were able to get the live round out of the young Marine. He's still recovering in a Washington D.C. hospital.
In a small Texas town, the police arrested the local madam and seized her little black book, which listed all her girls. Each officer on the small police force was assigned a group of names and ordered to check them out. After a week, the chief held a meeting. When he called on Detective Summers, Summers replied, "Chief, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to disqualify myself. One of the ladies I questioned is an eighty-four year-old and she is so charming that I've fallen in love with her."
"Tarnation, boy!" exclaimed the chief. "I'm surprised at you, Summers. You've been a policeman almost all your life -- and here you go, falling for the oldest trick in the book!"
The tall pedal goes and the wide pedal stops. It seems like a simple enough concept, but as this unbelievable video footage showing a Porsche 911 Turbo illustrates, it's still tough for some people to fully grasp.
A Turkish woman was pulling up to a gas station this past weekend when she made the more common than it should be mistake of hitting the gas pedal instead of the brake. The result of this brief error in judgment combined with the power of the 997 Turbo is what you see here.
After hitting a car parked at a gas pump, the out of control Porsche flew into the building at a high rate of speed. An employee of the gas station sustained minor injuries in the violent crash while the driver and her passenger both escaped uninjured.
