JOKE: A man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun

A man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun on his shoulder. He walks up the the bar and sits down. He proceeds to order a beer for himself and for the little Leprechaun.

Well, the guy and the Leprechaun drink about two beers when finally the Leprechaun jumps down off the guy's shoulder, trots down the bar and stands in front of a rather large construction worker. He looks at the construction worker and goes, "pfffffft" right to the big guy's face.

Well the Leprechaun trots on back on hops back onto his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is a little ticked, but decides to shine on this breach of manners.

After another beer and a half though, the Leprechaun hops down and again goes in front of the construction worker and goes, "pffffffft" to the construction workers face.

The Leprechaun trots on back and hops back on his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is visibly bothered, but decides not to do anything again.

Well sure enough, the guy and the Leprechaun drink another beer. Soon enough the Leprechaun hops down, trots in front of the construction worker and goes,"pffffffft" to his face. Well, this time the big guy has had enough of the little guy's manners and walks over to the fellow with the Leprechaun, again on his shoulder.

The construction worker tells this fella, "If your little friend does that again, I'm gonna cut off his little dick!" The fellow tells the big guy "Well Leprechauns don't have dicks." The big guy asks, "Well how does he go pee?" The fellow with the Leprechaun on his shoulder looks at the big guy and goes, "pffffffft."

VIDEO: Kentucky Chinese restaurant shut down after roadkill deer found in kitchen

A Chinese restaurant in Williamsburg, Kentucky, has been forced to shut its doors after getting caught with a dead deer in the kitchen. It happened on Thursday afternoon at the Red Flower Chinese Restaurant.

"We were actually joking about the, you know, the whole Chinese restaurant. You know some rumors that you hear," said customer, Katie Hopkins. But, Hopkins and her friends never imaged what would happen after finishing their buffet lunches.

"Two of the workers came in wheeling a garbage can and they had a box sitting on top of it. And hanging out of the garbage can, they were trying to be real quick with it. So that nobody could see it. But there was like a tail, and a foot and leg. Sticking out of the garbage can and they wheeled it straight back into the kitchen," adds Hopkins. Hopkins immediately called the health department to describe what she saw.

"Many people eat there. A lot of locals eat there on lunch breaks and stuff. It was very disturbing. There was actually a blood trail that they were mopping up behind the garbage can," she said. Paul Lawson, the environmental health inspector in Whitley County says this is the craziest thing he's ever seen. After he arrived at the Chinese restaurant on south highway 25 West, he says the complaints proved to be true after finding roadkill in the restaurant's kitchen. Lawson said that the owner's son admitted to picking up a dead deer off the side of I-75 north in Williamsburg. This prompted the health department to immediately shut down the business. "They said they didn't know that they weren't allowed to. So that makes me concerned. But maybe they could have before. They didn't admit to doing it before," says Lawson. Lawson says that the restaurant can reopen if they pass a secondary health inspection, proving that they have washed, rinsed, and sanitized the restaurant after having roadkill inside. The restaurant owner told the health department that he wasn't going to serve the road kill to customers, but instead to his family. The Red Flower Chinese Restaurant will not face any fines.

VIDEO: Cat and Rat at Play

VIDEO: Alligator for Hire for Kids Birthday Parties

Although critics argue that mixing alligators and 8-year-olds is bad parenting, Florida alligator wrangler Bob Barrett calls it a party. And for $175, Barrett will bring a gator directly to a home.

Tampa-area parents looking for something more than a clown or pizza for their children's birthday parties now need look no further than Barrett's Alligator Attraction, which will bring an alligator straight to their backyard pool to swim with the children.

"It just took off like wildfire, Barrett said. "Everybody loves having the gator pool parties."

Barrett runs The Alligator Attraction of Madeira Beach, Fla., where visitors can pay to hold and feed rescued baby gators. He says the inspiration for his party idea came when business was sluggish in the summer and he saw other options that were available for children's parties.

"If you're 9, 10 or 11 years old, you've already had the 'jumparoo' house, the bounce house, you've had the pizza party, you've had the clown party," Barrett said. "You get to have a pool party with a gator. It's a very popular party."

Tampa-area mother Chris Jones opted for the alligator party idea when she was looking for something unique for son Marshall's 8th birthday party earlier this summer.

"They really were so into it," Jones said of her party's attendees.

It turns out her son wasn't the only person surprised by the reptile party guests.

"We allowed all the children to come to the party and the parents without telling them about the alligators," Jones said.

This is all safe, said Barrett, who tapes the baby gators' mouths shut before the party. He says that because the muscles they use to open their mouths are weak, there is virtually no risk of children being bitten.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has determined that Barrett isn't doing anything illegal, but added in a statement, "We will say that this is not something that we encourage."

But 8-year-old Marshall Jones doesn't care, and he wouldn't mind seeing these party animals at his house again next year.

"They go really fast," he gushed. "They're like, really cool."

JOKE: CAN'T MARRY YOUR SISTER

A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha a girl from the neighborhood.

With a sad face the old man said to his son, "I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mom."

The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.

So he decides to go to his mother. "Mom I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you."

His mother smiling said to him, "Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son.

GOT CAPTION? 9/26

VIDEO: Texas Police Officer Pushes Woman Away From Car Crash

VIDEO: Dog adopts abandoned kitten

The tiny kitten, its eyes still shut, was only a couple of days old when Pat Weber's teenage grandson found it on the cold floor of a barn at their Jordan, Minnesota, home. "He brought her into the house and said 'I think she's dead,' " Weber recalled. "But I held her in the palm of my hand, and I could tell she was moving." The kitten, nothing more than a "little fur ball," had apparently been abandoned by its mother, who was nowhere to be seen. That's when Mittens, Weber's 4-year-old Pekingese dog, took over.

As Weber put the kitten on the carpeted floor to call a veterinarian, Mittens approached, nuzzled the kitten and let her suckle, even though the dog wasn't pregnant or nursing a litter of her own. She had given birth to puppies, but that was two years ago. Three days after their first encounter, Mittens began producing milk, becoming the kitten's sole source of sustenance. "She decided that little kitten needed a mother," Weber said. Now called Bootsie, the charcoal-grey kitten with white paws has become a lively, meowing addition to the Weber household.

"I couldn't believe it at first," Weber said. "Later I took some pictures and took them to church and told people I had a miracle to share. The miracle was that after three days my dog had milk to feed the kitten with, and I didn't have to get up every two hours to feed her formula out of bottle." Stephen Lavallee, the New Prague veterinarian who has examined Mittens and Bootsie, said both animals are healthy and the kitten is gaining weight at a normal rate. Lavallee had not previously encountered a case of a dog nursing a cat, but he said it is not unheard of.

John King, a Le Sueur veterinarian and executive director of the Minnesota Veterinary Medical Association, agrees. "There's a strong maternal instinct in many animals, and they will foster other species. It depends on the temperament of the individual animals, both the baby and particularly the mother," he said. Weber said her dog is affectionate by nature and loves babies such as her 9-month-old great-grandson. Even so, she marvels at the interaction between Mittens and Bootsie, even when the kitten isn't nursing. They play and cuddle, and the dog licks and cleans and the kitten. "Hormones will do strange things, that's about all the vet said," Weber said.

VIDEO: Funny Cats

JOKE: Gorilla Love

A guy sees a sign that says, "Volunteers needed for medical experiment. $500 fee!" So he goes in and they tell him they need humans to mate with gorillas. The guy thinks about it for a second, then says, "I'll do it under three conditions: 1) No one can find out that I did this. 2) If there are any offspring, they should be treated humanely. 3) I'm gonna need some time to come up with the $500."