Joke: Piano Player

A ragged old man stinking of whiskey and cigarettes shuffled into a bar, his hands shaking as he gave the "Piano Player Wanted" sign from the front window to the bartender. "I'd like to apply for the job," he said. The bar-keep was doubtful, but business was falling off and he needed to do something. "Piano's over there. Let's hear what you've got." The old man stumbled over to the piano and within seconds, the bar grew silent. They heard a rhapsody of sound and music like nothing they'd ever heard before. When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the place. The bartender handed the guy a beer. "That was great, pops! What do you call that?" "I call it, 'Drop Your Drawers, Toots, You're Gonna Meet Your Match Tonight.' " "Well..." started the barkeep, but the old boy was off and playing already. They heard a knee-slappin', hand-clappin' ragtime showpiece that had the joint jumping. People off the street came in just to hear this guy play. When he finished, he acknowledged the applause and said, "Thank you, folks. That was 'Big Tits Make My Afterburner Smoke!' " As he lurched off to the men's room, the bartender realized he just had to keep this guy, no matter how bad he looked or smelled, or what he named his music. So when he returned from the men's room, the bartender went over to him to tell him he had the job. On the way, he noticed that the old man's fly was unzipped, exposing his member. He whispered, "You got the job all right, pops, but do you know your fly is undone and your dick's hanging out?" "Know it?" snorted the oldtimer, "Hell, I wrote it!"