1 - Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
2 - Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
3 - Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
5 - Law of Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
6 - Law of Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
7 - Law of Cat Elongation A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
8 - Law of Cat Acceleration A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
10 - Law of Rug Configuration No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
11 - Law of Obedience Resistance A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
12 - First Law of Energy Conservation Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
19 - Law of Milk Consumption A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
20 - Law of Furniture Replacement A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
21 - Law of Cat Landing A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
22 - Law of Fluid Displacement A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
23 - Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
24 - Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
25 - Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Craig Grant has constructed scale buildings for his feline friends on his 25-acre cat sanctuary called the Caboodle Ranch.
The pampered pussies have colourful houses, a police station, a city hall, a Wal*Mart and even a boating lake.
But amazingly, the Florida resident started out by not even liking the animals.
He explains: "I was renting a two bedroom condo by the beach with my son. Then my son moved out on his own for the first time.
"He left his cat, Pepper, with me because he couldn't take it with him. I didn't like cats but I agreed to keep him.
"I wasn't used to being alone and I guess Pepper wasn't either. We slowly began to get along."
Just as Craig was getting used to the company of one cat, he discovered Pepper was pregnant.
He says: "I thought, 'Oh great, now what?'. She had five kittens. I wanted to give them away because I didn't want my beautiful home destroyed, but my son told me they had to stay with their mother for 8 weeks.
"Over that time I learned that every cat had his own unique personality and it wasn't long before the kittens were swinging from my curtains. I didn't care. Something had changed... I didn't want to give them up."
Craig soon realised he would have to move out of his condo as he was drawing complaints from his neighbours. More shockingly he says: "I found a B.B. (bullet) lodged in the side of one of my cats and another was bitten by a pitbull that I know was set loose on purpose. Something had to be done."
He was able to find a rural area in Madison, Florida and began taking in more four-legged friends. He says: "I had taken in abandoned and stray cats from the neighbourhood and areas that I work as a contractor. I had 22 cats by the spring of 2004."
Since then the numbers of residents has grown into the hundreds as Craig has taken on strays and cats he finds in animal shelters.
He explains: "Caboodle Ranch is now a permanent sanctuary for cats who have been kicked around by heartless people. Some almost starved to death, some of them are wounded strays. I've seen many locked in cages for months in animal shelters and have taken in some of those too.
"Cats should be able to roam free, and at Caboodle Ranch, that's what they do. We are in the middle of 100 acres of wildlife. The cats follow me through the nature trails that I put in and maintain, they climb in tree forts that I've built and hide in underground dens I've dug for them."
Craig has all the cats spayed or neutered and ensures all shots are up to date. He funds everything himself and with the help of donations, even travelling the 250 miles round-trip from work many times a week to keep the sanctuary going. He has to put in 14-plus hours a day and sometimes gets help from occasional volunteers.
But visitors to the Caboodle Ranch shouldn't think they can drive away with a new pet as none of the cats are up for adoption.
Craig explains: "The reason the cats are there in the first place is that there were not enough homes. The cats at the ranch have their forever home now. We prefer people adopt cats from humane societies, animal control etc, where those cats are on death row and are in desperate need to be saved."
EXETER, N.H. -- A cat aptly named Ugly is attracting a lot of attention at an Exeter vet clinic, where clients say they can't take their eyes off his striking appearance. The cat's full name is Ugly Bat Boy. He's bald in most places except for flowing fur on his chest, and he spends his days on a warm computer at Exeter Veterinary Hospital N.H. Bat Boy has become something of a local star. People come in and take pictures of him on their cell phones," said veterinary employee Christie Hartnett. "He's just great. He's Dr. (Stephen) Bassett's little wonder cat." The cat's striking appearance is normal, for him. He was part of a litter of four with a sister that looked just like him. That kitten died at only a few weeks old, but that was long enough for Bassett to become enamored with Bat Boy. "The owner knew that I liked the way the sister looked, and I came in from lunch one day and this cat was sitting in a cage, and the owner said Dr. Bassett liked this cat, so that's it," Bassett said. Workers said many people who come into the building can't really believe what they're seeing. But they said despite appearances, Bat Boy has a nice disposition and real inner beauty. "The impression from clients that come in is he's not real because he just sits so still, and when he does move, he scares them, but they think he's mesmerizing," Hartnett said. The office staff was getting so many questions about the cat that they put up a couple of fliers saying he's about 8 years old and perfectly normal in every way -- just ugly. He has the run of the place and all the attention he can handle.
