Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. How does James Bond like his pussy?
A. Shaven, not furred.
Q. What's the most popular bra size in the nursing home?
A. 38 long.
Q. Did you hear about the 13 year old boy that got hold of his fathers' Viagra?
A. They rushed him to the hospital with 3rd degree burns on his hands.
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Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk.
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He had had quite a night: wining and dining, followed by love-making all night long. As he prepared to leave the next morning, she rolled over and asked, "Darling, before you go, how about some money?"
He sheepishly replied, "You've done enough for me already. I'll just grab a cup of coffee on my way out!"
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