JOKE: Donald MacDonald left his beloved Scotland to study at an American university

Donald MacDonald left his beloved Scotland to study at an American university. After living in the dorm only a few weeks, he wrote home to mother about his ill-mannered, noisy neighbors. "Mama, the man in the room to my right bangs on the wall all night. The one on the left just screams and screams all night long."

"Oh Donald!" she wrote back. "How do you manage to put up with those awful noisy Americans?"

Donald wrote back, "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I spend every evening here in my room, quietly playing my bagpipes!"

Two Scots, Archie and Jock, were discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding over a couple o' pints. "Och, it's gonna be grand," said Jock. "Everything's organized already: the flowers, the church, the cards, the reception, the rings, the minister, even my stag night." Archie nodded approval. Jock continued, "I even bought a new kilt fer the wedding."

"A kilt?" exclaimed Archie, "That's braw. You'll look purty smart in that! And what's the tartan?"

"Och," replied Jock, "She'll probably wear white!"