An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice: either infinite wealth, infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "So be it!" says the angel and disappears. All eyes stare at the dean. Finally a colleague whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money!"
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"Oh, Mom!" sobbed the hot young blonde, her young bosom heaving in chagrin. "I'm pregnant!" "What!? Are you sure?" screamed her mother. "Who's the father?" "How should I know? You're the one who wouldn't let me go steady!"
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A man walked into a bar with an alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" "Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the customer, "Give me a beer, and my 'gator'll have a lawyer!"
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You only need to mumble a few words in a church to get married -- and a few more in your sleep to get divorced!
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