Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Flatulent man faces County Durham club ban

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A working men's club is threatening to ban one of its members for his flatulence.

Dave Marriott has been causing a stink and now he has been warned that if he doesn't stop, he will be barred.

Mr Marriott, 49, from County Durham, England said: "I'm not a scruffy man, I'm just afflicted with wind.

"I only drink two days a week, on a Saturday and Sunday. But if I drink too much on an afternoon then I'm flatulent on an evening and it can be really bad.

"I was brought up in front of the club's board, which included a couple of my friends, because a few people had been complaining.

"In fairness it's not just me, but I'm probably the worst.

"In the past I've actually been awarded pints for clearing a bar at closing time, when the landlord wanted everyone to leave.

"But I'm not proud of myself and now I've received a reprimand and a final warning. If I carry on letting off then I'll be out."

Mr Marriott, who has been a member of the Grange Villa Workmen's Social Club for more than 30 years, said he is not aware if he suffers from any particular medical problem.

"I don't know that I have a problem and my brother is just the same," Mr Marriott said, "Though I've not asked a doctor.

"There's quite a bit of flatulence down the club and they seem to be cracking down - perhaps it's because women are now allowed in the bar.

"I've tried changing from Guinness to lager but it's made no difference, so whether I need to go and see a chemist and see if they can give me anything I don't know.

"I've nothing against the club for doing this - in fact it's all been a bit comical and I could see one or two of the committee sniggering as they told me I had to stop."

A spokesman for the club confirmed disciplinary action had been taken, but declined to comment further.

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