Winkers: the jeans that wink at you

Meet the jeans that wink as you walk

The amusingly named Winkers, whose buttock-eyes appear to wink coquettishly at anybody following the wearer, are the invention of William A. Jones, a retired father of five and grandfather of seven who lives in Everett, Washington.

Jones says that the idea came to him when, naturally, he was checking out a woman as she walked past him.

He says he was sure that her jeans-clad bottom winked at him as she strolled by. A little more thought, and the idea of jeans with eyes in the buttock-folds was born.

Jones experimented with his daughter's jeans and discovered he could indeed make the jeans wink, and came up with the name Winkers.

His range isn't limited to just eyes, though - the range also features ducks that seem to quack, an owl that blinks, and a lion in a jungle scene.

Cop charged with pretending to be twin, sexually assaulting woman

An Orange Connecticut police officer was charged Friday with posing as his twin brother to trick a 25-year-old woman into having sex with him at his parents' Milford home last month.

Officer Jared Rohrig, 25, of Flax Mill Lane, has been on paid administrative leave from his job since July 23, pending the outcome of an internal investigation, said Orange Police Chief Robert Gagne.

The unnamed woman told police on July 22 that she had been sexually assaulted July 19 at the Rohrig home, where she went to meet Joe Rohrig, Jared's identical twin. The woman had been having a sexual relationship with Joe Rohrig since March, and on July 19 she talked on the phone with someone she believed was him and agreed to meet at his house, according to a search warrant filed at Milford Superior Court.

When she arrived, she got into the hot tub with the Rohrig brother she believed was Joe, began kissing him and agreed to go to an upstairs bedroom with him. But as they were having sex, the warrant states, she noticed something missing: the cowboy tattoo on Joe's left buttocks was not there. The woman "immediately began to cry and asked him where his tattoo went," the warrant states. "The male replied that he had never had a tattoo and told her that she must have hooked up with his brother who had a tattoo "� The female victim realized at this point that this was not the person that she had previously had sexual relations with."

She told police that at that point she got out of bed and tried to leave, but the man "grabbed her arms and threw her on the bed, where she continued to cry," and he continued having sex with her, the warrant states. When the woman told Jared Rohrig to get off her, he allegedly put a pillow over her face, and while it did not prevent her from breathing, she felt "scared and claustrophobic," according to the warrant. Her attempts to push him off were unsuccessful "because he was too strong and she gave up," the warrant states.

Later, the man -- still claiming to be Joe Rohrig -- drove the woman home in Jared Rohrig's pickup truck, but could not find the way, even though Joe had previously visited there several times, she told police. "The female victim looked at the male and asked, 'When did you think I was going to find out? When I realized you didn't have a tattoo? When we didn't use Joe's car to drive home? Or when you didn't know how to get to my house because you've never been there?' " the warrant states. "The female victim said the male replied, 'I don't know. I never thought that far ahead.' [She] asked him, 'How do you feel right now?' and he replied, 'I feel dumb. I feel stupid.' The male then said, 'You have every right to be upset.' The female victim replied, 'I don't need your sympathy.' "

Jared Rohrig allegedly told the woman during the ride that his brother, Joe, who had a steady girlfriend, did not want to meet her that day, but "he told me to go for it." She told police she later received a text message from Joe's cell phone, the same one Jared had allegedly used to speak with her earlier, and the message read: "I want to apologize for what my brother did last night. I had no idea what was going on until this morning."

After the alleged assault, the woman went to Milford Hospital, where she completed a sexual assault evidence kit. Jared Rohrig, hired by the Orange Police Department on July 11, 2008, is still in the department's 18-month probationary period and is not a member of the police union, Gagne said. His brother had applied to the department through the South Central Criminal Justice Administration, a regional testing entity used by several area police departments, Gagne said, but "he is not being considered at this time." Jared Rohrig surrendered to police Friday and posted a $50,000 bond. He is to be arraigned on charges of first-degree sexual assault and criminal impersonation Sept. 8 in Milford Superior Court.

13 Possible Reasons for Traffic Accidents (8- )

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Rectum? Damned Near Killed Him!

Rarely does a thief get more unlucky than this guy! While trying to break out of the East London Museum in South Africa, scared by the alarm that he triggered, this guy slipped from the tree he was climbing and got impaled right in his ass. The screams of the man echoed around the museum until he was heard by a man driving by who called the police. The fire department rushed to the scene and eventually had to cut the 30cm long steel spike from the fence so they can remove him. Naturally, the spike damaged his rectum and intestines, just like a bad night in prison with a tattooed guy named Manuel.

Bambi and the Gun

Texas deputies disciplined for staging hot-waitress-with-rifle pics

AUGUST 20--An impromptu photo shoot of a scantily clad waitress holding a police assault rifle has led to the firing of one Texas sheriff's deputy and the disciplining of four other lawmen. Earlier this month, a group of Midland County Sheriff's Office deputies were eating at the Twin Peaks restaurant in Round Rock when they asked a waitress to pose with an AR-15 rifle on the trunk of their police cruiser. As seen in the below photo, the 24-year-old waitress--who wore a "Bambi" nametag, short shorts, knee socks, and a revealing t-shirt--was perched on the trunk of a Midland police cruiser. The automatic weapon, which had been in the trunk of the marked Ford Crown Victoria, was handed to the waitress by Deputy Daniel Subia, who was fired for his role in the August 10 incident. Subia and his colleagues were in Williamson County for a "Criminal Interdiction" training class, according to a Round Rock Police Department report. Though the incident was originally investigated as possible misdemeanor disorderly conduct, no charges were bought against any of the Midland officers. When Round Rock cops questioned their Midland counterparts about the photo session, two Midland deputies claimed that the waitress "asked to have her picture taken with their weapon, but acknowledged they should not have agreed," according to the police report. "Bambi," however, told investigators that "the Midland deputies asked her to go outside to take pictures of her holding the weapon on their marked unit."

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0820091twinpeaks1.html

Friday's Joke

An elderly couple were driving through County Kerry, Ireland. Irene was driving when she got pulled over by the police, who asks her, 'Ma'am did you know that you were speeding?'

Irene turns to her husband, Mick and enquires, 'What did he say?'

Mick yells out, 'He says you were speeding!'
The policeman said, 'May I see your license, please ma'am?'

Irene, once again, turns to Mick and says, 'What did he say?'

Once more, Mick, shouts out, 'He wants to see your license!'

Irene gives the policeman her driving license.

The cop retorts, 'I see you are from Kerry. I spent some time there once and had the worst date I have ever had.'

For the final time, Irene turns to Mick and asks, 'What did he say?'

Mick yells very loudly, 'He thinks he knows you!'

Milkman

Criminal Pranksters Cause Millions in Damages

Tariq Malik, Pranknet's founder and leader, is pictured in a webcam still taken in his Windsor, Ontario bedroom.

AUGUST 4--At 4:15 AM on a recent Tuesday, on a quiet, darkened street in Windsor, Ontario, a man was wrapping up another long day tormenting and terrorizing strangers on the telephone. Working from a sparsely furnished two-bedroom apartment in a ramshackle building a block from the Detroit River, the man, nicknamed "Dex", heads a network of so-called pranksters who have spent more than a year engaged in an orgy of criminal activity--vandalism, threats, harassment, impersonation, hacking, and other assorted felonies and misdemeanors--targeting U.S. businesses and residents.

Coalescing in an online chat room, members of the group, known as Pranknet, use the telephone to carry out cruel and outrageous hoaxes, which they broadcast live around-the-clock on the Internet. Masquerading as hotel employees, emergency service workers, and representatives of fire alarm companies, "Dex" and his cohorts have successfully prodded unwitting victims to destroy hotel rooms and lobbies, set off sprinkler systems, activate fire alarms, and damage assorted fast food restaurants.

But while Pranknet's hoaxes have caused millions of dollars in damages, it is the group's efforts to degrade and frighten targets that makes it even more odious. For example, a bizarre July 20 prank ended with a hotel worker actually sipping from a urine sample provided by a guest at a Homewood Suites in Kentucky. Additionally, at least twice this year, fast food workers--fearing that they would suffer burns after being doused by chemicals from a fire suppression system--stripped off their clothes on the sidewalk outside their respective restaurants.

(read the rest of the story here on the Smoking Gun)

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0803091pranknet1.html

Taser Sets Man on Fire

It didn't take Lancaster Ohio police long to discover a potential danger with their newly issued stun guns: They can set their targets on fire.

One day after officers received Tasers this week, two of them were patting out the flames on Daniel Wood, a 31-year-old homeless man who reportedly had been inhaling a chemical from a spray can to get high. Wood was not seriously injured but was taken to a hospital as a precaution, said Lancaster Police Chief David Bailey.

"Clearly, this is not the way we'd hoped to get started," Bailey said. "But I'm glad the suspect is OK, and this gives us an opportunity to review how we will do things from this point."

The makers of stun guns warn that such fires are extremely rare but a risk nonetheless, and Lancaster's written policy for the department's seven new Tasers says that the devices shouldn't be used when flammable materials are evident.

Bailey said his officers acted appropriately given the situation and Wood's combative behavior.

"There was no recognition on the part of these officers that this would be the result," Bailey said. "They didn't know the vapor was present and would flash. ... It wasn't as if the suspect was doused in a chemical."

CNN reported last month that a man in Australia who had been huffing a chemical poured gasoline on himself as he charged police. An officer used a stun gun, and that man burst into flames and was seriously injured.

And a man died in Texas in 2007 after police hit him with pepper spray and then jolted him with a stun gun, according to published reports.

Authorities in both cases said the men were carrying lighters in their hands, so the source of ignition couldn't be determined for certain.

In Lancaster, the officers responded just after 8 p.m. Monday to a report of a man darting into traffic and yelling threats outside the Kmart on Memorial Drive.

When the two officers arrived, Wood was holding a can of keyboard cleaner in his hand, and one of the officers saw him inhale the chemical, according to a written report.

Wood took off running and, once caught, kicked the officers and tried to bite them, the report says. That's when an officer used his stun gun, hitting Woods in the chest and an arm with the charged prongs.

"I then observed a flame ignite and I quickly shut off the Taser," wrote the officer, identified only as H.W. Lanham. "(I) approached him and patted out the flame."

Wood has a history of disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and alcohol and drug charges in Fairfield County Municipal Court.

He was charged on Monday with resisting arrest, assaulting a police officer and abusing harmful intoxicants and taken to the Fairfield County jail. He was released about 11:30 p.m. Monday and rearrested yesterday when he failed to show up in court.

Arizona-based Taser International has sold 430,000 devices to law-enforcement officers at 14,750 agencies. Spokesman Steve Tuttle said the warnings about possible ignition are clear but that the incident described in Lancaster "is beyond freakish."

Lancaster police officers have spent the last four months training under an instructor certified by the Ohio Peace Officers Training Academy, Bailey said. Officers also had to pass a qualifying test.

Spokesmen for both the State Highway Patrol and the Columbus Division of Police, where most troopers and officers carry stun guns, said their training is extensive, and that their respective policies also warn of the risk of fire.

My Husband is Annoying: the Blog

She's airing their dirty laundry because he won't pick up his. Tiffanie Wong of Brooklyn Heights N.Y. recently started a blog to tell the world of her husband's annoying habits. It's called, not surprisingly, "My Husband Is Annoying."

Wong updates her blog every few days to lament on some of her husband's quirkier antics. "Obviously, I love the guy - I wouldn't have married him if I didn't," said Wong, 36, a technical director at CNN. "He just has annoying traits." For his part, Wong's husband, WPIX-TV reporter Mark Joyella, sees the humor in his wife's blog and has no problem with the outside world knowing of his foibles. "To me, it's kind of a tribute to all husbands," said Joyella, 43, who works for the weekend show "Toni On! New York"

"I'm sure all husbands have their own quirks." Some of Joyella's most annoying habits, according to his wife's blog, include his love of fart jokes, the fact he wears the same zip-up green sweater in every family photograph and his inability to figure out the TV remote. "I'll ask him to record a show for me and it ends up being Univision or something," Wong said. "Have you seen that remote?" Joyella countered. "It has like 50 buttons on it."

The couple met in 2003, when they worked at Channel 5 news. They started jogging together two years ago, then moved on to dating. They wed in March in a ceremony in Napa Valley, Calif. That's when Joyella really started getting on Wong's nerves. "Of course, I'm annoying - I've been saving it up my whole life," Joyella said. "Now that I'm married, I can let my guard down." Last week, Joyella bought his wife a calculator for her birthday and took her out to dinner at a fast-food joint. Rest assured, a description of the enchanting evening made its way on to the blog the following morning. Joyella said he considers the blog to be a "green light" to be even more irritating than usual. "If I'm doing something that annoys her, I can say I'm giving you material for the Web site," Joyella said. "That's okay," his wife replied. "I don't need any more material."

Married women across Brooklyn loved the idea of a blog that takes aim at annoying husbands. "A lot of married women need to vent," said Susan Green, a paralegal from East Flatbush. "My husband can be very annoying sometimes. He drops his clothes, doesn't do the dishes. I tell him to do the chores, but it doesn't work." "Maybe this would shame him into changing," she added. "He can start his own blog if he doesn't like it." Men weren't so thrilled about the idea. "Where's 'My Wife Is Annoying' or 'My Girlfriend Is Annoying'?" asked banker Chris Hanlon of Brooklyn Heights. "I feel bad for the poor guy. But it sounds like a pretty funny way to pass the time."

got a spouse with annoying habits? now's the time to vent here!