Woman Kicks Rapist's Butt

LAWRENCE, Mass. -- A Lawrence woman who said she had never been in a fight in her entire life fended off an attack from a much larger man late last month.
She’s 5-foot-1 and barely more than 100 pounds, but full of fight.
“I don’t know where it came from,” said April Marchessault.
The mother of three was caught off guard when a man snuck into her home late at night and grabbed her from behind.
“It was like covering his whole face, was a gray t-shirt,” said Marchessault.
Chief John Romero of the Lawrence Police Department said 47-year-old Edgardo Montes planned to rape Marchessault.
“Absolutely, given the way he attacked the woman,” said Chief Romero.

Just by looking at the suspect it would appear to be a lopsided fight. And it was. LOL, she kicked his butt.
Marchessault kicked Montes down a flight of stairs, severely spraining his knee. She then punched his face so many times that she hurt her own hand.
“Then when we were halfway up the driveway, my hand was killing me, so that’s when I picked up the trash barrel and then just kept whacking him in the head,” said Marchessault.
During the fight, Marchessault’s three kids were sleeping inside the house. Her father woke up, though, and the two of them held Montes at bay until police arrived.
“He couldn’t get up anyway. He kept trying to get up and I just kept stomping on his leg,” said Marchessault.
Montes, who is already a Level 2 sex offender for a 1995 rape conviction, is back behind bars.
Police gave all the credit to Marchessault.
“My sense is that this individual, given his history, would’ve just attacked somebody else,” said Chief Romero.
Montes is currently being held in jail without bail.

JOKE: Seeing Eye Dog

"Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador Retriever ," said Paddy. 


"You must be fooking crazy!" said Mick.


 "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

VIDEO: When Ducks Cross the Road

When ducks cross the road

VIDEO: I HATE NATURE

I Hate Nature from Olde English Comedy on Vimeo.

I Hate Nature 2 from Olde English Comedy on Vimeo.

Zoo faces fine for breeding liger cubs

A private zoo in Taiwan could be fined after crossing a lion and a tiger to breed 'liger' cubs.

The zoo is the island's first to breed the hybrid of a lion and a tigress, but officials seized the cubs and said they may fine the owner.

The three liger cubs were born at the World Snake King Education Farm but one of them died almost immediately, reports the Daily Telegraph.

"The pregnancy of the tigress caught me totally unprepared," insisted Huang Kuo-nan, the farm's owner.

"The lion and the tigress have been kept in the same cage since they were cubs more than six years ago, and nothing happened."

But the Tainan county government later seized the two baby ligers, relocating them to a home for wild animals.

"What else can I do? I respect the decision, but I hope the two cubs can be taken good care of," Mr Kuo-nan said.

He faces a fine of up to �1,000 for breeding wildlife without authorities' prior approval, said the Council of Agriculture.

According to the Taipei-based Apple Daily, there are only around 10 surviving ligers in the world, with adult ligers capable of growing much larger than average lions.

Boy, 13, hit by lightning on Friday 13th at 13.13pm

The lad was among 150,000 people at an airshow in Lowestoft, Suffolk, England when the bolt hit.

He was treated for burns to his shoulder by St John Ambulance staff and should make a full recovery.

Rex Clarke, St John team leader, said: "Suddenly there was this huge crack of lightning really close to the seafront and really loud thunder.

"Seconds later we got a call someone had been hit. The boy was breathing and was conscious.

"He had a minor burn to his shoulder and was taken to hospital as a precaution. It could have been a lot worse.

"It's all a bit strange that he was 13, and it happened at 13:13 on Friday 13."

Spectator Jordan Gissing, 16, and a woman standing close to the boy were also treated for minor injuries following the strike.

Jordan threw his umbrella to the ground as he saw a spark on his hand as the lightning struck.

He added: "We were just watching the Red Arrows go past and there was a flash of lightning. I couldn't speak. I was in shock."

GOT CAPTION? 8/18

JOKE: Sumbich

A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.' The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.The water was churning and splashing everywhere. both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars,'

'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Leroy. The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?

'Again Leroy said no. Confused,the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?

'Leroy said, 'I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!'

My Border Patrol Hat

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my GREEN HAT that I got from Newsmax when I had subscribed to the magazine.
When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the hat. Try it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

It also works at DMV. It saved me 5 hours.

At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

Don't try it at McDonald's though. The whole crew got up and left and l never did get my order.

VIDEO: BBC weatherman caught giving the finger live on air!