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TEN SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE GAY

- You blow every paycheck on gerbils.

- You get offended by the word "Fruit Loops."

- Your fantasies include prison showers and dropped soap.

- Anyone mentions "The Village People" and you think of your neighbors.

- Your nickname is "Homo."

- Your friends want to kill Richard Simmons, you'd rather spank him.

- You know over 10 people named Bruce.

- There's always a "queer" taste in your mouth.

- You wake up each morning and scratch someone else's balls.

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Breeding Stock

A Missouri farmer got in his pickup, drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy about 12 opened the door.

"Is yer paw home?" the farmer asked.

"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."

"Well, said the farmer, is yer maw here?"

"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with paw."

"How about your brother, Joe, is he here?"

"He went with maw and paw."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer paw."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably. "I really wanted to talk to yer paw. It's about your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to pa about that", he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the boar hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Joe.

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VIDEO: L.A. Police Officers Suspended for Starring in Porn Movie While on Duty

Two Los Angeles traffic officers could lose their jobs after they were caught appearing in a porn movie while on duty and in uniform, in which they reportedly spank a blonde actress in broad daylight.

The video, which is available on a popular adult subscription website, shows various men groping blonde porn star and performing a range of sex acts with her.

In one scene, the actress jumps into the arms of an LA traffic officer, who spanks her and then fondles her bare breasts.

A second traffic officer takes a few spankings from the woman, then allows her to get into his official city car, where she performs lewd acts on herself, reports NBC LA.

Both officers have been suspended with pay as an investigation takes place.

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