I like to post videos,crazy news items and jokes..if I make you laugh,I am rewarded in knowing that I made your day better...
Friday, September 17, 2010
JOKE: Did you say the pool?
A lawyer who works in Texas gets a call about an emergency which requires him to immediately fly out of the state for a short period of time. He has no time to pack, so he calls home to tell his wife he is going.
The maid answers the call, but is quite hesitant about putting his wife on the phone. After quite a bit of interrogation, she admits that the wife is upstairs in bed with the mailman! The lawyer is furious, and wants to rush right home, but of course there is this emergency he must take care of. So instead, he tells the maid to go get the gun from the desk drawer and kill both his wife and the mailman. She protests! The lawyer explains that under Texas law it is legal to kill your adulterous wife and her lover. Using his silver tongue, he finally convinces her to do it. She puts down the phone, and soon the lawyer hears the sound of two gun shots, a scream, some loud thumps, and finally, two splashes.
The maid comes back to the phone. The lawyer asks,
"Did you kill them?"
"Yes," she replies. The lawyer questions her again,
"What did you do with the bodies?"
"I threw them in the pool," she responds.
There is a brief pause from the lawyer. He asks her, "Did you say the pool?"
"Yes! I threw them in the pool!" she says.
"Uh, is this 555-8904?"
Thursday, September 16, 2010
One man, one room, 40 venomous snakes for 121 days
DAMDORYN, South Africa – The most common question David Jones gets asked is: "Are you completely mad?"
It's not hard to understand why, since the 44-year-old British carpenter is currently trying to break a world record by sharing a room for four months with 40 of the world's most venomous snakes.
"It's a challenge," he told me. "People die all the time when they climb Mount Everest. But that doesn't put them off. This, if you like, is my Mount Everest. I've always wanted to come and sit here with snakes."
We'd come across Jones while traveling back from Rustenburg to Johannesburg, after watching Ghana defeat the U.S. in the World Cup. You couldn't miss the signs by the roadside: "World Record Attempt in Progress!"
Jones's sparsely-furnished room was at the back of a snake farm, part of the Chameleon Cultural Village.
We found him sitting in front of a laptop computer, updating his website (www.snakeman.co.za) and contemplating making a cup of tea, though that would require some care, since a cobra had taken up residence in the cupboard with his tea bags.
"I had a cobra try to strike at me the other day, while I was making a cup of tea."
He has a bed and small bathroom. The room has windows on three sides to afford a better view to visitors.
His roommates include puff adders, snouted cobras, boomslangs and green and black mambas. "Collectively they are very, very dangerous. They would all put you in hospital. And untreated most of them will kill you," he said.
What intrigued me most, though, was the television, tuned in to World Cup soccer. Two snakes were lying on top of the satellite and another on top of the TV appeared to be watching the game.
"They seem to watch the movement," Jones said. "But snakes are deaf, so they can't hear the vuvuzelas, which is just as well. I wouldn't want the snakes driven insane by that constant sound."
David Jones takes a photo of one of his venomous roommates.
Jones has to contain his own excitement, since any sudden movement would attract his housemates.
He’s been a snake enthusiast since he was a boy. "I do remember finding my first snake when I was ten, and taking it to my house. I was delighted. I kept that snake until it died three or four years later."
He says he has to be extra careful of the puff adders. "They move around slowly on the floor. The real danger is treading on them. It's a nasty, nasty venom…They do like my shoes. It’s a nice dark hole."
The current snake-room sharing record is held by South African Martin Smith, also known as Mad Martin, who spent 113 days sharing a room with snakes. Another attempt to break the record failed last year; the challenger was hospitalized twice after being bitten by a puff adder and them a cobra.
Jones does have a nighttime "minder" who sits in the room and keeps the snakes away from his bed while he sleeps.
"Providing I keep my wits about me, providing I do the basics, move around slowly and do look before I move my feet, there's no reason in the world why anything should happen to me," he said.
Assuming he makes it through to August, the target, his wife and young son will travel to Johannesburg for the final days.
A cheer went up from the television, nearly a goal. A long green snake was looking intently at the screen. Jones resisted any attempt to applaud. "I'm not such a soccer man, really." Which is probably a good thing given the circumstances.
the Rat Cave
Watch Tinkerbell, the bath-loving rat, build herself a rat cave in her own cage out of paper. Tinkerbell becomes an architect at night when she finds some newspaper pieces around her cage. There was a newspaper laying beside her cage one night and she built a little igloo-house out of scraps. This is a time-lapse video of her working on taking the paper scraps down and folding them in her own special way. There is a cameo appearance by a cat called Tootsie, who loves Tinkerbell and was watching the whole building process throughout the night.
Mini-moo: 33-inch English cow world's smallest
This is an undated Guinness World Records handout photo made available Thursday Sept. 16, 2010 of Swallow, right, an 11-year-old cow from Yorkshire posing next to Freddie the bull. The minuscule cow with a taste for contemporary music has been named the world's smallest by the Guinness World Records book. Guinness says the sheep-sized bovine from the West Yorkshire region of northern England measures roughly 33 inches (84 centimeters) from hind to foot. At 33 inches she has been named the world's smallest cow.
JOKE: the Diamond Ring
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon."
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said "There's no money in that account."
"I know," said the old man, "But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!"
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