JOKE: Dave comes home from work one afternoon...

Dave comes home from work one afternoon and is stopped by his neighbor. "It may be none of my business, but this afternoon a strange man came to your house and your wife let him in. I peeked through the curtains and saw them making wild, passionate love."

Dave said, "Was he short, about 5'8?"

"Yes," the neighbor answers, "I believe he was."

"Did he have a droopy eye, and appear drunk," Dave asked?

"Yes," the neighbor agrees.

"Then that was the mailman," Dave responds. "He'll screw anyone."

Married 107 Times..Nigerian Man Has 86 wives and 185 children

Mohammed Bello Masaba, 87-year-old Nigerian faith healer, said exactly 107 times “I do”, but is currently married only to 86 wives between the ages of 19 and 64 because nine of them died over the years and divorced twelve.

But wait, it gets better. Maasaba is father of 185 children and his youngest child is one month old, while his extended family including in-laws, cousins, nieces, nephews now numbers about 5,000!

Why did he do it, you ask? Because God told him so, of course.

“I get a revelation from God telling me any woman I’m going to marry. If it wasn’t from God, I wouldn’t have gone beyond two,” he explained to Los Angeles Times writer Robyn Dixon.

LA Times writer heard more unbelievable details – his wives claim they never fight and Maasaba still pleases them all!

“In his wisdom, God has given me the power and strength to give them the sexual portion they need. If I didn’t satisfy them, they would leave,” he said.

In 2008 Maasaba has prompted anger from Muslims and was arrested under Islamic law, which limits men to four wives, but after 57 wives testified on his behalf in the country’s High Court, he was freed without charge.

Dog Takes Over Mothering of Baby Raccoon

A dog in eastern Missouri adopted an orphaned baby raccoon as her own after losing a puppy in labor. "We saved her life, and she saved the raccoon's life," said Sharon Maag of the St. Peters rescue group, SNUGGLE, Special Needs Under Gentle Guided Love Everyday. "I think what goes around comes around. It's the circle of life. I think that's the way it goes. She's just returning the favor."

Sasha the dog was likely headed for euthanization after being surrendered to a shelter with what appeared to be a large lump. The group SNUGGLE rescued her. "We weren't sure if it was a tumor or if she was pregnant so we brought her here," Maag said. "They did an ultrasound. She had two puppies inside of her. One was born dead." Around the same time, the baby raccoon showed up. It was found alone at a home in Saint Charles under the carport.

"We started off bottle feeding it and just couldn't keep up with its needs," veterinarian Dr. Kelly Hogan said. They thought to try Sasha, and a remarkable thing happened. Mother and pup took to the raccoon as if it was the puppy they had lost - cleaning it, grooming it and nursing it. "Even when he started making little raccoon kind of noises, she didn't have a problem with it," Hogan said. "And she loves him. She's protective of him now."

Sasha even jumps for her baby if workers have to take the raccoon away for any reason. "It's absolutely heartwarming to see that, to see them side-by-side like that and her attachment to him, it's amazing," Hogan said. Sasha will soon have to part with the baby raccoon. It's expected to be weaned in a few weeks, going to a wildlife rescue before being released back into the wild.

VIDEO: Wicked Cool...Owl and Cat Playing

VIDEO: Candid camera - waitress in Brazilian bikini

VIDEO: Why Mama Didn't Want You To Get A Motorcycle

Bisexual (Queen Parody)

OK..READY TO ROCK??? Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS DEDICATED TO..I DON'T EVEN WANT TO DIVULGE HIS NAME TO PROTECT ALL EWES

VIDEO: Cat in the Kettle at the Peking Moon LMAO

JOKE: Blonde Nun

One night a blond nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.

"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.

"There must be something you would have of me," said God.

"Well, there is one thing," she said.

"Just name it," said God.

"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop."

"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."

"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.

"Name it. Please," said God.

"It's the M&M's," said the blonde nun. "They're so hard to peel."