AND NOW..FOR SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT....

Calvin Harris performs a version of his new single Ready For The Weekend on a unique human synthesizer. The instrument employs 15 bikini clad models painted with Bare Conductive, a new skin safe ink which conducts electricity. When the performers touch the connection completes a circuit, triggering a sound. The instrument consists of 34 pads on the floor which have been painted with the conductive ink and connected to a computer via some clever custom electronics. The performers stand on the pads, and touch hands to complete a circuit and trigger a sound. Different combinations of pads trigger the different sounds needed to play the track. The project is the result of a collaboration between Calvin Harris and masters students from the Royal College of Art's Industrial Design Engineering programme. Bare Conductive was developed by RCA students Bibi Nelson, Becky Pilditch, Isabel Lizardi and Matt Johnson.

Vermonster arrested for fifth DUI.. Driving a snowmobile on a snowless highway in August

file photo..yeah crazies even use them on lakes

COLCHESTER, Vt. -- Police arrested a Colchester man Saturday morning for allegedly driving an unusual vehicle under the influence. Police said around 1:13 a.m. on Saturday -- one of the hottest days of the year so far -- an officer saw a snowmobile traveling on Porters Point Road in Colchester. The officer followed it for a short distance before the driver left the snowmobile in a yard on Macrae Road and ran off into the woods. With the help of Police K9 Tazor, Joseph Quigley was tracked down and arrested the 31-year-old him for his fifth DUI offense. Quigley's blood alcohol content was .183%, more than twice the legal limit.

Chortles for Tuesday

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. "What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband. "Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bedm, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do???" "Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified! She was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises...etc. He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighbouring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night? What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life. What is the moral of this story? The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, underneath it all, she's still a witch---and don't you forget it!

CHITO AND HIS PET CROCODILE

Known as the 'Crocodile Man', Costa Rican animal lover 'Chito' swims, plays and even feeds 'Pocho' the giant crocodile in what is one of the world's most unlikely friendships. Wading chest-deep through the green water in a 100 sq/m lake in Siquirres, this bizarre and dangerous spectacle draws tourists from around the world. Calling quietly for his five metre long 'companion' before thrashing around, lifting his tail and head above the water. 'This is a very dangerous routine but Pocho is my friend and we have a good relationship,' says 52-year-old Chito. 'He will look me in the eye and he does not attack me. 'It is too dangerous for anyone else to come in the water. It is only ever the two of us.' The bizarre friendship began nearly 20 years ago when Chito rescued the 980-pound crocodile after finding him close to death on the shore of the Parismina River, in the Caribbean province of Limsn. Unlikely friendship: Chito rests on top of buddy Pocho, who he rescued after the crocodile was shot in the eye Crazy: Chito plays with Pocho the crocodile, who seems to enjoy the attention Shot in the left eye by a cattle farmer after preying on a herd of cows, Chito enlisted the help of several friends to load the massive reptile into his boat, Naming him 'Pocho' (meaning strength), the fisherman says he healed the reptile with medicine, food, and, more importantly, lots of care and attention. 'When I found him in the river after he was dying so I put him in my boat and I brought him into my house,' recalls Chito. 'He was very skinny, weighing only around 150 pounds, so I gave him chicken and fish and medicine for six months to help him recover.' Rolling around: Chito says that if anyone else entered the water it would be deadly During the recovery process, Chito stayed by Pocho's side, even sleeping with him at night. 'I just wanted him to feel that someone loved him, that not all humans are bad,' Chito says. 'I love all animals, especially ones that have suffered. It meant a lot of sacrifice. I had to be there every day.' After Chito felt that Pocho had bonded with him, he started to get closer and closer to the animal. Tourist attraction: It took Chito many years to build his relationship with Pocho to this level 'After 10 years I started to work with him,' he says. 'At first it was slow, slow and I started to play with him a little, touching him a little bit and then slowly doing more. Then I found that when I called his name he would come over to me.' Today tourists travel from all over the world to see the unusual spectacle. 'I am happy because I rescued him and he is happy with me because he has everything he needs," says Chito.

Archie Engaged to Veronica..Comic Fan Irate!

DALLAS (AP) - When comic book store owner Dave Luebke heard that after 67 years, the carrot-topped everyman of the comic world, Archie, was proposing to va-va-voomy rich girl Veronica instead of girl-next-door Betty, he decided to protest by selling his copy of the series' rare first issue.

Luebke's Archie Comics No. 1 sold for $38,837 when Dallas' Heritage Auction Galleries offered it Friday. Heritage spokesman Noah Fleisher said the buyer was a longtime Archie reader and collector from Virginia who did not want to be identified.

"Betty is it. Not Veronica," said Luebke, whose Richmond, Va., store has more than 1 million comics in stock. "This is serious."

And, he said, 99 percent of his customers agree that perky, blond Betty is the clear choice over shiny dark-haired Veronica in the seemingly never-ending love triangle.

"It's amazing how many stories they've gotten out of this over the years," said Barry Sandoval, Heritage director of operations of the comics division.

The Archie Comics Web site shows Archie proposing to Veronica on bended knee on the cover of No. 600, which hits comic book stores Aug. 19. That begins a six-issue story arc that takes place in the future - when the perpetual high schoolers have graduated from college, said Victor Gorelick, editor-in-chief of Archie Comics.

He said people all over the world are reacting to Archie's choice and "mostly everyone feels bad for Betty."

For those heartbroken by Archie's choice, Gorelick remains coy, advising: "I just tell them to stick with it. Read through it and you'll see what happens. A lot happens. A lot goes on."

The Archie Comics Web site shows the proposal issue is followed by an issue with a cover featuring the couple at the altar, Veronica proclaiming "I do!" and Archie saying "Do I ever!" In the next issue, twins are on the way.

After the six-issue story arc, the gang will return to high school, Gorelick said.

Tom Michael, a teen comics collector from Iola, Wis., has a feeling all might not be what it seems.

"I have a feeling that the last issues will have him asking Betty to marry him," Michael said.

Sandoval, who said Luebke's No. 1 is in excellent condition, suspects Luebke's reason for selling might have a bit more to do with the money than anger.

Luebke concedes that the economic downturn was a factor, but he said his outrage on behalf of Betty is real.

*Tales of Travel Agents*

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Yep It Finally Happened!

INCREDIBLE AMAZING ACROBATS

another video from my channel on Youtube..I appreciate your rating and commenting on these videos..you're welcome to pass them along, of course ..tyvm

HUGE DEAD SNAKE..WHAT KIND OF SNAKE IS IT?

the wife's butt hole

I love her logic.."you should know EVERYTHING about me..what if you have to identify me?"