TIME OF YOUR LIFE

TIME OF YOUR LIFE
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Baby Quadruplets Laughing ..Love It!!

No More Pizza Deliveries for Naked Guy Who Supplied His Own Sausage and Meatballs

A female pizza delivery worker got more than she bargained for on multiple occasions when she went to deliver food and was met at the door by a man wearing no pants.

Portsmouth New Hampshire Police Lt. Rodney McQuate said the woman delivering the pizza notified police of the man's actions after it took place four different times.

"She would go to the address and the guy comes to the door wearing no pants," McQuate said.

The lieutenant said the man would be completely naked from the waist down.

McQuate said the pizza delivery woman called police in an effort to let them know what was going on, but didn't wish to press charges.

He said an officer was sent out to speak to the man and let him know how "inappropriate" his behavior was.

"We went and talked to the guy and they aren't getting any more pizza delivered there," McQuate said.

the Word for Wednesday

EURDITE
adjective; characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly
synonym; educated, knowledgeable; wise, sapient.

the Joke for Wednesday

Bob's new job required a physical with the company doctor. All his tests turned out fine but, after a brief hesitation, the doctor mentioned that Bob had the smallest penis he'd ever seen.
"Tell me: do you ever have any difficulties with it being so small?"
"No," said Bob, "I've got a wonderful wife, three great kids, and a normal sex life. The only problem is finding it when I have to urinate."
"And you do have a normal sex life? How?"
"It's no problem because then there's two of us looking for it!"

the Video for Tuesday

this is a riot The Babysitter

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Short Films | Sexy Comedy

the Joke for Tuesday

A young newlywed couple had been married barely a month, when the man began to have problems making love. He and his bride tried all sorts of toys, and lotions, but to no avail. Finally the man decided to go see his Dr. to find out what's wrong.
When the Dr. completes his examination, he tells the young man, that he has an extremely rare condition. Unfortunately, there is very little hope of him ever having an erection again. The man is just distraught. He pleads to the Dr.
"Surely there must be something you can do Doc. I just can't bear the thought of never making love to my beautiful bride again." The Dr. replies
"Well, there is one procedure, but I must caution you, it's still very experimental, but so far, the results have been pretty positive." The young man is relieved at the possibility of hope and says "What does it involve...I'll try anything!" The doctor replies, "Well, what we do is graft muscles from an elephant trunk to your penis." The man decides to go through
with it.
After the surgery, he takes his bride out for drinks and a romantic dinner. While they're sitting at the table, the man is starting to get aroused, when all of the sudden, his penis unzips his pants, grabs a cocktail peanut from the bowl on the table and goes back into the pants, and zips them back up. The man is just sitting there stunned, with tears in his eyes.This happens over and over again. The wife exclaims "Honey, that was amazing...can you do it again?" To which the husband replies "I can try, but I doubt I can fit another peanut up my butt!"

*BABY BOUNCES TO BEYONCE*

** Reposting My Photo Essay **

ever get the feeling, like you've just been squashed by the entire world? Lately, I don't know if I'm coming or going with the gas prices being so high my whole world has been kinda turned upside down I may've found a solution to the gas situation if we don't run out of dog food the trick is to be resourceful when you're a 'lil short

there are dangers to being upwardly mobil

but we must put all our demons to bed

realizing that sometimes life's load is a bit much

and sheer optimism alone isn't enough to prevail

often the problem is how we perceive things

maybe it's best to just laugh at life's little inequities..count our blessings

and keep on dancin'

'cuz there will be more crap coming along

but if we face our fears

and maintain an attitude of gratitude

we can continue to face the music

German Speeder Pulled Over..Driving Motorized Beer Crate

A German man has been banned by police after converting a beer crate into a mini quad bike.

The micro machine was given its last orders after Matthias Krankl tried to outrun cops in Maulburg, Germany.

"It has a tiny one cylinder engine but somehow he managed to break the speed limit," said one officer.

"It wasn't legal so we had to confiscate it but it looked like a lot of fun and would certainly make drink driving more risky," they added.

WOW.. I THINK THIS IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL

Judge Orders Google To Deactivate User's Gmail Account

In a highly unusual move, a federal judge has ordered Google to deactivate the email account of a user who was mistakenly sent confidential financial information by a bank.
The order, issued Wednesday by U.S. District Court Judge James Ware in the northern district of California, also requires Google to disclose the Gmail account holder's identity and contact information. The Gmail user hasn't been accused of any wrongdoing.

The ruling stems from a monumental error by the Wilson, Wyo.-based Rocky Mountain Bank. On Aug. 12, the bank mistakenly sent names, addresses, social security numbers and loan information of more than 1,300 customers to a Gmail address. When the bank realized the problem, it sent a message to that same address asking the recipient to contact the bank and destroy the file without opening it. No one responded, so the bank contacted Google to ask for information about the account holder.

In keeping with its privacy policy, Google told the bank it would have to get a court order to obtain such data. The bank then filed papers asking a court to order Google to disclose the information and deactivate the account.

The bank attempted to file its papers under seal, but U.S. District Court Judge Ronald Whyte denied that request. Earlier this week, the case was transferred to Ware from Whyte.

Some lawyers say the Ware's order is problematic because it affects the Gmail account holder's First Amendment rights to communicate online, as well as his or her privacy rights.

"It's outrageous that the bank asked for this, and it's outrageous that the court granted it," says John Morris, general counsel at the Center for Democracy & Technology. "What right does the bank have and go suspend the email account of a completely innocent person?"

He adds: "At the end of the day, the bank obviously screwed up. But it should not be bringing a lawsuit against two completely innocent parties and disrupting one of the innocent party's email contact to the world."

Eric Goldman, director of the High Tech Law Institute at Santa Clara University, adds that the judge's order could have significant ramifications for the Gmail account holder. "Losing an email account is a big deal," he said. "It's very disconcerting to think that a judge could simply order my account deactivated."

Crying toddler kicked off Victoria bus

Jenny Manzer and her 20-month-old daughter Briar, were kicked off a bus because Briar was being fussy

An Oak Bay mother says she's not happy with B.C. Transit's response to a recent incident where she and her 20-month-old daughter were forced off a bus by the driver because the child was making too much noise.

Jenny Manzer says she wants to ensure no other parent faces a similar situation. "Their response really has been inadequate," said Manzer, who says she received a form letter and four free bus tickets. "I find that really insulting. I don't think they have taken it seriously enough."

But transit spokeswoman Joanna Morton said the incident is being taken seriously -- Manzer has received an apology and the driver is being monitored.

Manzer and her daughter, Briar Leach, were travelling from the University of Victoria to downtown Sept. 11 when Briar started to fuss. "She was just saying 'no, no, no, no.' It was loud and annoying, but she stayed in her seat and I was doing everything I could to calm her down," Manzer said.

But the bus driver pulled up at the busy Lansdowne-Foul Bay intersection and demanded that Manzer leave the bus because the noise was affecting his driving. Manzer said she had no stroller and three bags and would have to carry Briar a considerable distance to get home.

"I appealed to stay because it was not a safe situation to get off the bus with her, and he said he didn't care and I would have to learn to control her."

Despite support for Manzer from other passengers, the bus driver would not relent, and Manzer was left struggling with bags and Briar on the street.

Manzer, a journalist, called the experience "dangerous, upsetting and humiliating."

She and partner David Leach, a professor at the University of Victoria, do not own a car and usually transport Briar and her brother AJ by bike and bus. Now, because of this experience, they're now wondering whether they should buy a vehicle.

Manzer, who e-mailed B.C. Transit immediately after the incident, said the majority of B.C. Transit drivers are "fantastic." "That's why this experience left me so stunned."

Morton said as soon as the complaint was received, B.C. Transit called Manzer and interviewed the bus driver. "We apologized and explained this was not the norm and we offered a few passes as a gesture for the frustration," she said, adding the driver will continue to be monitored.

Morton did not have numbers available showing how many people a year are asked to leave buses in Greater Victoria. Manzer said she believes it is rare.

"I've ridden buses with inebriated people, riders with loud headphones, people swearing or making racial slurs, carrying jugs of liquor and even stripping down to their panties and changing clothes. None of these customers was asked to leave the bus," she said.

the Joke for Monday

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"
She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"
The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

A BIT TOO MUCH DYNAMITE THERE, EH BUTCH?!

2nd body recovered from bank wreckage in Belgium

In Dinant Belgium, two men robbed a bank Friday night using dynamite. They used far too much and the part of the entire building was blown up. One of the men was taken to hospital but died of his injuries. The other man was found dead under the rubble hours later.

The two gangsters went to work about 3 am Saturday morning.

It looks like they wanted to blow up an automated teller machine but the force of the dynamite caused much of the building to collapse. One of the men was killed. The police were still searching the wreckage to see if there was a second body through the afternoon. The second body was finally recovered Saturday evening..

A delousing squad is also at the scene to make sure there is no dynamite left that did not explode. The bank safe and the money machine were undamaged by the blast.

http://www.deredactie.be/cm/vrtnieuws.english/news/090926_gangsters+Dinant video

Ladies I Have the Answer..Hmmm, Now What Was the Question?

Who Loves Ya Baby!

jokes for Saturday

_____________________________________________________________________________
Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, "Covert to Catholicism and get $10."
One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?"
"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it." Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"
Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it." With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed. "So," asks Abe, "did you get your ten dollars?"
Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think of?"
______________________________________________________________________________
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
_______________________________________________________________________________
A Muslim has died and arrives in Heaven
He is very excited as, all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he asks
'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up'
And he points him to a ladder that rises into the clouds Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbed the ladder in great strides.
He meets another bearded man.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Jesus. Mohammed is higher up still'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.
Once again, he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still'
Exhausted but with heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps, as he is by now totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son. I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?'
'Yes please, my Lord'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out: 'Mohammed..coffee'
______________________________________________________________________________
One dark night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink it exploded into flames. The alarm went out to the fire departments from miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved.
I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact.
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Jewish rural township volunteer fire company composed entirely of menschen over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine operated by this Jewish Fire Department passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant.....and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside the other firemen watched as the Jewish old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Jewish old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Jewish fire fighters.
The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Abe Hertzfeld, the 70-year-old fire chief, "the foist thing ve're going to do is fix the brakes on that feshtunkena truck!"
_______________________________________________________________________________

**Paris Hilton in Jail** the Video

A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

Madam:
I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in India. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.

I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is open for you.

I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands every day. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand.

If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim.

If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.

Expecting soon

Yours and only yours,

Choudhary

a Joke

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

the Word for Friday

HECTOR

To intimidate or dominate in a blustering way. To behave like a bully; swagger.

synonyms: bullyrag,badger,bait,cow,menace,threaten

a Joke for Friday..more to follow..I'm in the mood

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid replies, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Did You See This? "Children Who Get Spanked Have Lower IQs" ... I Think This Is BS

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090925/sc_livescience/childrenwhogetspankedhaveloweriqs

 The argument could be made that the reason they have lower IQs is because their parents have lower IQs. It seems to me that spanking is an outdated method of discipline;beating a child isn't the best way to teach them to do right. I would also suggest that those who do spank their children these days are less educated, less informed and probably of a lower IQ than those who do not spank their kids.

 The fact that their respective IQs go down over a measured period of time could also be indicative of a genetic predisposition to lower IQ scores rather than the impact of spanking.

the Joke for Thursday

A little old Jewish lady sells pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young leaves his office building at lunch time, and as he passes the pretzel stand, he leaves her a quarter, but never take a pretzel. They never exchange a word. This goes on for more than three years.
One day, as the young man passes the old lady's stand and leaves his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady finally speaks to him.
"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has gone up to 35 cents."

the Word for Thursday

Superfetation
the formation of a fetus while another fetus is already present in the uterus.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/twins-conceived-weeks/story?id=8656369

The priest, the stripper, and their baby

She was an exotic dancer at a Miami strip club called Porky's. He showed up wearing a Hawaiian shirt, eager to share a night in the VIP lounge.

They began a torrid, on-and-off love affair that ended for good in January, after she gave birth to a daughter she says is his. Now, she wants child support and has filed a restraining order against him.

It might be a routine, if tawdry, court case if not for respondent David Dueppen's job: Catholic priest with the Miami Archdiocese.

The sordid story line inflicts another black eye on an Archdiocese already embarassed in May, when popular Miami television priest Alberto Cuti� admitted to an affair with a woman, whom he quickly married.

Dueppen, 42, who once served at the same Miami Beach parish as Cuti�, is now on leave from his associate priest position at St. Maximilian Kolbe Church in Pembroke Pines.

Former stripper Beatrice Hernandez filed the restraining order last week, claiming that an argument over paternity and child support escalated when Dueppen began ``grabbing her by the throat and choking her.''

``He is the devil,'' said Hernandez, 42, of Miami, who provided DNA test results naming Dueppen as the father. ``He is the devil dressed as an angel.''

The couple's past relationship was well-known to the church. Three years ago, the archdiocese paid Hernandez a settlement stemming from their long-running affair, which started seven years ago.

Within the last year, Hernandez says, Dueppen -- still a priest -- unexpectantly showed up to rekindle their romance.

The result, she says: Her baby, Marilyn Epiphany Hernandez.

Dueppen, a former Miami-Dade middle-school teacher who became a priest 10 years ago, says his lawyer advised him not to comment.

``I can't talk with you,'' Dueppen told a Miami Herald reporter Friday, adding that Hernandez's version is ``going to have a lot of inaccuracies.''

Dueppen, at his own request, is on indefinite administrative leave, said Archdiocese spokeswoman Mary Ross Agosta, meaning he cannot perform church services or appear in priest garb.

Dueppen requested the leave for ``personal reasons'' during a meeting with Archbishop John C. Favalora in mid-August, she said.

Agosta could not say if Dueppen had revealed the baby's existence to the church, but she was unaware of the allegation. ``This information, if it's accurate, is very disappointing,'' she said.

Dueppen, looking to fulfill a spiritual void, turned to the cloth in 1999. He told The Herald at the time he had wrestled with giving up women and his dream of a large family.

``I sit down and ask Him that He give me the strength and the gifts to be able to serve His people,'' he said in an interview then. ``I am following what I believe is the will of God for me.''

A decade earlier, as a student at the University of Miami, Dueppen criticized the school's decision to install condom vending machines on campus.

``It will increase pressure for students to have sex, especially among freshmen. The only safe sex is abstinence,'' he told The Herald in a story on the controversy.

But abstinence was not in the cards when he met Hernandez, according to her account.

Hernandez says she met Dueppen while stripping near Miami International Airport. Her stage name: Lisa.

She spent a Sunday night with Dueppen -- who had shed his priest collar -- drinking wine in the VIP room. Soon, Hernandez says, Dueppen was visiting the club twice a month, and she began visiting him in the Keys, where he started out as a priest at St. Mary's Star of the Sea.

He later transferred to St. Francis de Sales Church in Miami Beach. They lived together in her West Miami-Dade town house for more than three years.

``He talked about having kids and marrying me,'' said Hernandez, who also has an older daughter from a prior relationship.

Hernandez said the relationship ended in 2006 over sexual differences.

Hernandez hired lawyer Jeffrey Herman, who threatened to sue the church under the claim that Dueppen abused his position of power by sleeping with Hernandez, and threatening her and her adult daughter with ``evil spirits'' if Hernandez left him.

The church settled out of court in July 2006, according to a Herald article at the time.

Hernandez says she and her daughter were paid $60,000. As a condition of the settlement, Hernandez and the priest were ordered to stay away from each other, she said.

According to church spokeswoman Agosta, Dueppen then went on leave to come to terms with his ``very public vow of celibacy.'' He returned after 13 months, she said.

``We are a forgiving church. He was addressing the issues and we were assured the issues had been resolved,'' she said.

Hernandez's current lawyer, Michael Feiler, said the church knew Dueppen was a problem and should have done more to ``police its ranks.''

``Instead of taking actions to correct his behavior, they just moved him 15 miles up the road,'' Feiler said.

By early 2008, Hernandez had quit her stripping job and opened a dollar store in Miami. One day, Dueppen showed up, she said.

``He has been looking for me everywhere, in every strip club,'' she said. ``A friend of mine ended up telling him the address of the store.''

They renewed their romance. ``He started talking about having kids again. He wanted to start fresh with me -- and I'm still in love with the guy, and I fell for it,'' she said.

Then, Hernandez discovered she was pregnant.

Dueppen ``refused to believe he was the father and repeatedly told [Hernandez] that she was crazy,'' according to the restraining order.

The priest, she said, finally relented to a paternity test after she threatened to tell the Archdiocese. Despite results showing Dueppen was the father, he refused to pay child support and threatened her into staying quiet, she said.

``Any movement you do -- you call the cops, you call the Archdiocese -- we are powerful,'' Hernandez, in the restraining order, quoted Dueppen as saying. ``You know what I will do. I will take this child away and you will never see this child again.''

Hernandez will be seeking child support and a permanent restraining order, said Feiler, who will represent her at a hearing in Miami-Dade family court on Thursday.

Save the Boobs

it's for a good cause

Coworkers Discover They're Brothers

After working side by side for weeks, two coworkers discovered that they are actually siblings brought together by a series of incredible circumstances.

Gary Nisbet and Randy Joubert, who share the same parents, were adopted and raised by separate families in neighboring Maine towns, never knowing the other one existed. They attended rival high schools, moved to the same town of Waldoboro, Maine, and both wound up working for the same company, Dow Furniture.

The two rode side by side in a delivery truck and slowly put the pieces together.

"Something clicked with me," Randy said. "So I got him up by the truck and said Gary, this is going to sound bizarre, but were you adopted?"

Gary, somewhat perplexed, confirmed that he was in fact adopted. After comparing some notes -- dates of birth, and finally birth parents names -- they stared at each other in disbelief.

"This is such a small world," Gary said.

Randy, the older brother, was the one who first had a hunch they may have been related.

"People are saying we look like brothers, and we go on deliveries together for the last month and a half and we keep getting it" Randy said. He had recently dug up some information about his adoption and discovered that he had a brother who was born on June 10, 1974 -- Gary's birthday.

For two weeks the two kept the news to themselves, but last week they shared their story withco-workers.

Owner Lisa Dow says she cried when one of the brothers told her, "I would have never found him if you didn't hire me to work here."

Gary and Randy are still in disbelief.

"I've been riding around with this guy for a month and a half and he's my full blooded brother," Randy said shaking his head.

TRUMPET LIPS

the Word for Wednesday

GROK



To understand something intuitively or by empathy.

We must look to Robert Anson Heinlein for the origins of this word, which he invented for his science-fantasy book Stranger in a Strange Land in 1961. In this, Valentine Michael Smith, a human being raised on Mars, returns to Earth with psi powers given him by the Martians and is transformed into a messiah.


Grok is a word borrowed from Martian (and you won’t see that written very often) in which it literally meant to drink. To grok is to gain an instant deep spiritual understanding of something or to establish a rapport with somebody.


The book became a cult classic despite its deeply flawed nature (Heinlein remarked self-deprecatingly about it that it was incredible what some people would do for money; it was originally published in a brutally edited form and became available as originally written only in 1990).


The term went into the language, at first among countercultural types in California and among SF fans (there used to be lapel buttons around with the message “I grok Spock”), but was eventually taken up by computer geeks, among whom it has largely remained.

the Joke for Wednesday

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway, and began to sob uncontrollably. The other three gathered around him and asked, "What's wrong?" Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed, and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole -- it holds very difficult memories for me." One of his buddies asked, "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?" Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack -- right at this very hole!" "Oh no!" the other golfers said. "That must have been horrible!" "Horrible? You think it's horrible?" Bob cried in disbelief. "It was worse than that! Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it was... hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag Alice..."

WOW!! CNN's Rick Sanchez Calls FOX News Liars

the Word for Tuesday

MUGWUMP



A person who remains aloof from controversial issues.


This archetypal American word derives from the Algonquian dialect of Native Americans in Massachusetts. In their language, it meant “war leader”. The Puritan missionary John Eliot used it in his translation of the Bible into their language in 1663 to convey the English words duke, officer and captain.

Mugwump was brought into English in the early nineteenth century as a humorous term for a boss, bigwig, grand panjandrum, or other person in authority, although often one of a minor and inconsequential sort. This example comes from a story in an 1867 issue of Atlantic Monthly: “I’ve got one of your gang in irons — the Great Mugwump himself, I reckon — strongly guarded by men armed to the teeth; so you just ride up here and surrender”.

It hit the big time in 1884, during the presidential election that set Grover Cleveland against the Republican James G Blaine. Some Republicans refused to support Blaine, changed sides, and the New York Sun labelled them little mugwumps. Almost overnight, the sense of the word changed to turncoat. Later, it came to mean a politician who either could not or would not make up his mind on some important issue, or who refused to take a stand when he was expected to do so. Hence the old joke that a mugwump is a person sitting on the fence, with his mug on one side and his wump on the other.

There is also a slangy sense — less known these days, I believe — of a person who has been persuaded by his possession of a minor official position into a sense of self-importance, often becoming obnoxious as a result.

the Joke for Tuesday

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello".

"Mrs. Shapiro, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Shapiro, this is Doctor Rosenfeld at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When
your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from
another Mr. Shapiro arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your
husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Shapiro asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other
one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."

"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Shapiro.

"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one
time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere
in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

THIS IS VERY SCARY

This apparent disaster-waiting-to-happen is on the Island of St. Maarten. The airport has a particularly short runway that ends just 40 feet from beach, leaving large planes just barely enough room to land. So they have to come in low, directly over the beach, making it a prime destination for an afternoon of quiet, relaxing sunbathing

another Joke for Monday

A priest, a pentecostal minister, and a rabbi would get together twice a week for coffee to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

the Word for Monday

RIPSNORTER

This delightful word from rural America, meaning something violent, extravagant, vigorous or a striking example of its kind, has become known everywhere that English is spoken.



Its first appearance was attributed to Davy Crockett (“Of all the ripsnorters I ever tutched upon, thar never war one that could pull her boat alongside of Grace Peabody”). But as the word appeared in one of a series of almanacs bearing his name in 1840, four years after he died at the Alamo, we must take the link with a pinch of salt — as we must such other supposed coinages of his as circumflustercated and scentoriferous, part of the largely fictitious tall-talking vocabulary of mountain men that the almanacs almost single-handedly invented. Snorter has had various senses that imply that something is an extreme or remarkable case of its kind. To take one example, around the time that ripsnorter appeared, snorter was applied to an especially ferocious storm, a sense that is alluded to in the slightly opaque example from the Crockett almanacs that I’ve quoted. Rip may be a more-or-less meaningless intensifier, as it is in words like rip-roaring, though its sense of “rip” or “tear” may contribute energy and vigour. However, the storm sense of ripsnorter’s second element suggest rip might have another of its meanings, a stretch of broken water, as in rip tide and rip current.

GOT A BAD HEAD COLD? THERE'S HELP..LOL

the Jokes for Monday

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."

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Exercise Pointers
The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again...
It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at 50,000 per month.
I joined a health club last year, spent about 40,000 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
If you are going to try cross-country running, start with a small country.

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Patient: It isn't possible that I'm as overweight as you say I am.
Doctor: Maybe you would prefer to look at it in a different way. According to this chart, you're about 10 inches too short.

the Word for Sunday

VACCIMULGENCE

The milking of cows

It is, as you may guess, derived from Latin vacca, a cow (which is also the origin of vaccine, because the first was derived by Dr Jenner from cowpox to guard against the much more serious smallpox). The ending is from the Latin verb emulgere, to milk out, which — as well as being the ultimate origin of emulsion — is the root of another very rare word, emulgence, the action of milking out, as for example in extracting money from the unwilling.

LMAO

I hate this genre of 'music'..so this to me is riotous

California Stars

the Joke for Sunday

A Priest and a Rabbi were, by coincidence, sitting next to each other on a long flight. About an hour passes and not a single word was exchanged by the two men. Finally, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and says, "Rabbi, do you mind if I ask you a personal question"? The Rabbi said, "Of course, you may." "I understand that many of you Jewish people, especially Rabbis, keep kosher and, as such, don't eat things like bacon or ham". The Rabbi acknowledged that. "Haven't you ever even tasted bacon or ham?", asked the Priest. The Rabbi explained, "Many years ago, I was a visiting Rabbi in a small town in the middle of nowhere and found myself in a diner one Sunday morning. There was no one around so I ordered bacon and eggs. It was quite good but that was the only time that ever happened." After some time, the Rabbi turned to the Priest and said, "Father, do you mind if you ask you a very personal question"? The Priest said OK. "You Priests take an oath of celibacy, right"?, asked the Rabbi. "Why, yes", answered the Priest, wondering where this was going. "Well, haven't you ever had sex since you've become as Priest"?, asked the Rabbi. The Priest looked about nervous, leaned toward the rabbi and answered very softly, "As a young parishioner I was approached by a troubled woman who was looking for my guidance. She was a beautiful, young woman and one thing led to another. So, yes, just once I had sex with a woman". A few moments pass and the Rabbi leans over to the Priest and says, "A lot better than pork, isn't it?"

HOW MUCH MUSCLE IS TOO MUCH?

ISN'T THIS A BIT MUCH? SO MUCH WORK,FOOD AND LIKELY DRUGS TO ACHIEVE THIS..FOR WHAT?? IS IT HEALTHY EVEN?